Angry about class split

[Annlenna]

My son’s school school is splitting the Y1 classes next year and just found out he has been split from his two close friends and most of his other friends. My son hasn’t found out yet but I’m absolutely devastated.

I do understand the school have their own criteria but, as a mum, I’m looking out for my son and I firmly believe this is not going to benefit him. We already struggled with school at the start of Reception so really don’t want to go back to him begging not to go to school.

I’m planning of requesting a meeting with the school to discuss so any tips on how to approach it with the school? Anyone managed to make the school change their mind?

I’m entitled to my opinions just as you are to yours.
plenty of posters have also encouraged the OP not to make too big a thing out of the class

Where did. say you weren't?

I responded to your post. And I particularly disagreed to your implication that OP 's reaction was over the top. I'm not attacking you.

( As I said they don't move classes 'round here'.)

You made some pretty forceful comments in your post but tbh if you can't cope with disagreement don't dish it out.

I remember a parent kicking up a huge fuss about her DD's class allocation once year (it was the year they were moving from Year 1 to Year 2). Like OP, the parent was annoyed that her daughter had been separated from most of her friends.

My DD, in relaying this to me, said "I don't know what the problem is. Yes, <parent's daughter> is not with A and B, but actually she plays more with C and D these days and she gets on really well with E, F and G and they are all in her new class."

It turned out that the teacher (and DD) actually knew more about in school friendships than the parent did.

I hope the meeting goes well and the head or class teacher is able to explain the rational for the changes.

It is true that sometimes, parents don’t appreciate the dynamics of class grouping and are perplexed by them. There will be reasons, some of which will not relate directly to individual children, but more to the group. It’s entirely reasonable to go and explain your concern about your child becoming reluctant to go to school again and see what they say.

Yes, every parent in the year group should go and tell the head which class they want their child in; that would sort things out perfectly.

Oh you are "that" parent. 🙄

Sorted it out for my child

God hate that trite " that Parent " shite trope.

I've got 4 kids . With the first I was all " don't be that parent " and there were things I didn't question because I didn't want to be that parent. 😬 What crap because as we all know schools are just perfect and always get it right.

Along the way I realised the everywhere I had hesitated there were ALWAYS other people who bowled in and made things happen. No It doesn't cross my mind and I advocate for my kids.

Not like a bull at a gate but sensibly . My kids are what's important. Not what someone else might possibly think. God alive.

Yes, every parent in the year group should go and tell the head which class they want their child in; that would sort things out perfectly.

What other parents do is not really OPs issue.

As you know.

Honestly if teachers are allowed control over the split they spend hours agonising over how to do it and who goes where.

Mostly management will tell you the numbers and it goes on birthdays and whoever falls either side of it goes into either class.

Teachers really really care you know.

@Annlenna do you have an update for us?

I have a meeting with his teacher next week so just waiting at the moment.

Be that parent if you want to be, schools don't always get it right!

Good luck, OP.

I love your answer, @BiscuitsandPuffin

People are being ridiculous thinking that a parent isn't aware of what is important for their child and should have zero input to their education.

Looking out for your child's interests is not being "that parent".

How did the meeting go @Annlenna ?

What was the outcome of your meeting?

Could we have an update? Op?

We had a few dragon parents whose Dc were never separated until y6. Then they spat the dummy out big time. School didn’t budge but should have moved these Dc around before. All the others were swapped around in y3 when they started. So from YR (separate indents school) to Y5 these Dc stayed together. They even went to the same grammar and university!

@TizerorFizz

So from YR (separate indents school) to Y5 these Dc stayed together. They even went to the same grammar and university!

That actually sounds lovely. What are the negative consequences of children being allowed to have the same friends all the way through?

Jealousies when other dc want to be friends. No need to embrace others for what they offer as a person or anyone who is a bit different from your bubble. Not a great prep for adult life. No other dc got this special consideration. We all thought it was very odd and very clingy.

We've had a situation at school where DC is in a friendship group with around 5 other children. They been together for the last couple of years but one child has now become very dominant within the group and is being quite nasty to our DC and particularly dominant over another child.

We raised this with the teacher as this child was beginning to turn the group on our DC.

The group has now been split up for the next year.

And the dominant child has been split from the one they was particularly dominant over.

So, by the lights of a lot of posters here, schools with only one class per year are clearly damaging to children, as is letting children develop life-long friendships?

I never seat friends together or allow them to work together anyway, so it makes absolutely no difference in my class if friends are placed together.

Doesn't look like the OP is coming back, does it?

@Annlenna what happened at the meeting?

Oh yea, we have this at my dc primary. Some kids allowed to stay together always forming unhealthy over attached relationships to each other. But then other dc separated. To me it did not make sense. Some friendship pairs were kept together for the entire primary, while others split. The ones that stuck together would not socialise with anyone but each other. They should have been separated from the start or perhaps together only every other year so they learned to make new friends. I think if you separate some friends, then all should be split so they all can make new friends. Not just allow some to stick together and not others. But, also true friends tend to stick together no matter what....as growing up my close friend moved schools in year 1 and we remained friends 35 years later. My dd has been separated from her best friend for many more years then they were together and they still are best friends and always meet for play dates etc (but they also have a group of friends at school and are not over reliant on each other).