Atheist in Roman Catholic Primary - experiences sought, please.

[ScaredHeart]

We have relocated and been advised that our two options going in at this stage to Year 3 are the Roman Catholic school, which is a very quick walk from home, or the no-religion school which is over an hour's walk away (traffic dire at peak times, I don't want to drive anyway). We could home ed in the hope that a closer non-religious school comes up for September - the LA says there is often movement at this stage in this borough.
DD is happy to see out this term home edded, as am I, but equally, ok to start if a preferred place is offered.

I am vehemently atheist. I cannot stand the religious imposition in schools. But the prospect of a short walk every day, Vs a very very long one, are giving me pause. I'd like for DD to make local friends, not ones who live over an hour's walk away, or further.

I wonder how seriously pushy most Catholic primaries are in this regard. Atheist patents with any experience or views? We will not go to church. I don't want DD being told god is real. (Unless during now and then, proof materialises.)

Other considerations.
RC school is one-form entry.
Non-religious one with current space is SIX-form entry.
Non-religious one with no space but may have space in September is four-form.
Would you pick the tiny RC school or the much bigger ones, if you had the choice?

As an atheist, do you have an issue with other people who are religious?
I.e would you constantly be clashing with the school if you chose the RC one, or being very vocal about your dislike of religion?

Basically would you spend most of your/your kids time re statements 'you won't make us go to your church/God isn't real'?

As someone who went to Catholic school I look at it in retrospect and think how brainwashing it was. Aside from the religious element in school, there will be the push for first holy communions and other church events. There are usually a number of non-catholics within Catholic schools, but it doesn't change the ethos. Maybe go look round and get a feel for it, see whether there are any other non-catholic parents you could speak to about their experiences?

completely agree with @ZebraKid71. I went to a catholic primary and a catholic grammar. It is total brain washing.
They will hear all the children's daily education towards a catholic faith. Welcome prayers in the morning and grace before meals. We also did the Angelia at 12
noon but i'm Irish so we are super hard core!
They will have religious pictures and statues around the school and in May encourage the children to build may alters at home.
In my school days we were told God is watching EVERYTHING!
They would say you can lie to me but God has seen
what you did!

It was bloody horrific and I'd walk the hour to school or buy bikes!

Jesus! Sorry for terrible typing! Walking and typing don't mix

Roman Catholic school will have liturgy and RE lessons daily. If you don't want your child to learn about this then you'd be better sending them elsewhere

Your username makes me wonder if you're in SW London, between two big parks. If you are, DM me and I can answer any questions you might have!

Schools vary. Have you actually visited it?

You are aware that the UK doesn't have "non religious schools", right?

Schools can be surprisingly keen on religion even if it doesn't say so "on the "tin".

Always best to visit.

Hmm not sure about catholic. I was in a Christian school but it was all inclusive and open for everyone, and mainly focused on learning, so assembly had lots of music where we would guess the instruments used and composers so you would never know it was Christian but we had a catholic headmistress take over and it became hard core. She removed our theatre shows for nativity, heavily biased shows we were all really upset, assembly became hymns and prayers. I always saw catholic as the more extreme side of Christianity, I may be wrong but where I live it was x

Year 3 in a RC school is probably the most religious year group as the children will take part in their Holy Communion. They'll do at least 2 hours of RE a week which will be heavily Catholic focussed and will do multiple acts of collective worship per day as well as assemblies and mass.

You could of course let the child go to the school and hear the other point of view. They could then make up their own minds.

We did this for our children after relocating from a Middle Eastern country renowned for it’s hardline Muslim views. Our kids are unaffected by it, possibly because we tempered it with counter views at home, but a lot of learning time is ‘wasted’ on long unnecessary masses, etc IMO. Ultimately it was a lovely, inclusive school and the kids thrived, but ethically it was a bit of compromise for us. It has made our children dislike religion even more now, unsurprisingly!

I think it depends on the school. DS is starting at a RC primary school in Sept. I am also vehemently atheist but DH is Catholic so a slightly different situation. My understanding, especially if you are in London, is that Catholic primary schools are increasingly having to become more diverse in their entry because there just aren't enough Catholic children to go around. I know last year, DS' primary school was only about 60% Catholic. I have to say that the other thing that has reassured me is meeting the openly gay Deputy Head of the school.

I just find it shocking that religious schools are still a thing in 2023 and for some are the only option. Complete madness

Sorry - I missed out the point of my mentioning the Islamic country we moved from - the Catholic school was on a par with the zeal with which they expounded their viewpoint which I was quite taken about by!

Not sure what they're like now but it was definitely very brainwashy when I was there in the 90s. Like others have said, constant prayers and RE was taught as if factually correct. Even the school trips were religion based, convents, holy locations.

There are also several sacraments that the children participate in including, communions, first confessions, confirmations; for which there is preparation work, practicing of songs, a lot of church visits. I think your child could end up feeling rather excluded.

I had an awful experience in P7 where we were made to secretly vote on what we would advise a 13 yo friend who had fallen pregnant to do. A couple of people voted for "have an abortion" and the teacher went mental and told whoever had voted that way that they were going to hell.

My dad was raised Catholic but is now an atheist. My mum has always been atheist. I was always encouraged to question things growing up which did get me into trouble a few times at school when I "dared to question the word of the lord" etc.

I get that the Catholic school is a load more convenient but I really don't think your child would have the best experience there.

Hahaha, well, you are SUPER smart, and yes, you've guessed it! I will pm!

Thank you for all the responses. I will get around to responding as much as possible.

By having an issue, I do find religion depressing, dogmatic, problematic, and irrelevant to real life. I do have a problem with it in schools, and think if people want to believe, that's up to them, but it should not be presented in society as fact. I'm very annoyed that I'm in this position of feeling very compromised with the local school because it is RC.
I would wish for them not to tell my DD that their religion is the valid one

I thought all schools had compulsory religious education classes.

I also went to Catholic schools (convents, in fact, taught by nuns, no less), though I was raised Anglican. This was in the eighties though, so I was wondering if things had become less ... intense re religion.

That said, I think my complete immersion in religious schools is what made me so thoroughly atheist. But I remember feeling what a waste of time all those religious assemblies were, and I'd rather have been playing rounders.

We are lining up a visit, yes. Just wanted info in advance. I'm feeling pretty torn.

I haven't found any local parents yet who have kids at this school. Possibly as there are only 30 kids per year, so it's a tiny school. The other two non-religious ones are pretty massive, so most kids go to one of those. The nearest is full, the other is an hour away. I hate early mornings almost as much as I hate religion in schools.

If you are an atheist and you feel that strongly then you should not be sending your kids to a catholic school imo. It’s confusing fir your kids and not fair on the school.
Year 3 is also when the kids do first holy communion and a lot of time is taken up with that ( classes usually each week after church for the whole year more or less and it’s mentioned in school too) and come May/June next year it’s all everyone is talking about.
assemblies are religious, class projects might be. I remember a year 5 assembly all about the beatitudes! Prayers beginning and end of day, lots of hymn singing and masses at certain times of year too,

I am happy for my kids to learn about all religions. I am not happy for them to have Catholicism rammed down their throats as though the bible stories are fact.

I misread your username as Sacred Heart ( good catholic username 😁)

I had similar. Yes re god is watching everything. Weird pervert if so. I also had recurring nightmares about burning in hell. Not what I want for DD. But I do like how small the school is, and I like how close it is.