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Primary education

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Original poster

Atheist in Roman Catholic Primary - experiences sought, please.

267 replies

ScaredHeart · 20/04/2023 16:14

We have relocated and been advised that our two options going in at this stage to Year 3 are the Roman Catholic school, which is a very quick walk from home, or the no-religion school which is over an hour's walk away (traffic dire at peak times, I don't want to drive anyway). We could home ed in the hope that a closer non-religious school comes up for September - the LA says there is often movement at this stage in this borough.
DD is happy to see out this term home edded, as am I, but equally, ok to start if a preferred place is offered.

I am vehemently atheist. I cannot stand the religious imposition in schools. But the prospect of a short walk every day, Vs a very very long one, are giving me pause. I'd like for DD to make local friends, not ones who live over an hour's walk away, or further.

I wonder how seriously pushy most Catholic primaries are in this regard. Atheist patents with any experience or views? We will not go to church. I don't want DD being told god is real. (Unless during now and then, proof materialises.)

Other considerations.
RC school is one-form entry.
Non-religious one with current space is SIX-form entry.
Non-religious one with no space but may have space in September is four-form.
Would you pick the tiny RC school or the much bigger ones, if you had the choice?

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 09:49

@hystericaluterus Many of the images that the Catholic Church endorses are certainly ones that I would not like my child to see. I would not use the word "gross"-I would, however, be happy to call them inappropriate. I realise that many Catholic schools no longer display them-but many, including one near me-still do. I know that many Christians have difficulty with the Abraham and Isaac story and the slaughter of the innocents. At they very least, they both need a lot of context. For balance, there are issues about the prophet Mohammed's marriage which many Muslims have problems with.

Friendofdennis · 27/04/2023 10:06

Dont send your children to the Catholic school. If you see their ethos as ‘brainwashing’ you will be setting your children up for conflict every day.

PassTheDuckie · 27/04/2023 10:38

It is brainwashing though.

but the alternative for op and likely many more is a very long commute, or a school in special
measures, or some other reason a catholic school feels like the best bet, despite all the issues.

Stryke · 27/04/2023 14:21

I wish there were no religious schools. I don't see the need at all. Kids can be indoctrinated at their parents place or worship, or in their own time, not Monday to Friday at school.

SnackSizeRaisin · 27/04/2023 15:13

hystericaluterus · 26/04/2023 20:45

@CurlewKate the operative word I your post is ‘nearest’ , very different to ‘only available’ .I agree with what @FL0 and others said earlier. It’s just a bit baffling why someone with the OPs views would even consider sending their child to a RC school.

@PassTheDuckie idk Christ on the cross being gross?! Or this ‘Abraham and Isaac is another unpleasant one. I mean nowadays if a religion told you to kill your own child you'd think it was some kind of awful cult. Then you have Herod killing all the 2 year olds’ from some posts up (sorry don’t know how to quote on here). It’s so obtuse that it borders on the offensive. It’s like saying that little red riding hood endorses eating grandmothers.

How is it obtuse to say that those stories are horrific?

I don't understand what you mean

SnackSizeRaisin · 27/04/2023 15:20

PassTheDuckie · 23/04/2023 21:10

A daily colllective act of worship?!? Surely not? Is that actually adhered to, in secular schools?

Show quote history

It varies - I am sure there are plenty of schools that don't bother but lots do. The UK's head of state is also the head of the church - we are not a secular country.

CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 18:26

@PassTheDuckie There is no such thing as a secular school in England and Wales.

CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 18:28

@hystericaluterus It is entirely possible that the OP is not in a position to devote 4 hours a day to getting her child to and from school....

Elsie20 · 27/04/2023 19:08

PassTheDuckie · 27/04/2023 10:38

It is brainwashing though.

but the alternative for op and likely many more is a very long commute, or a school in special
measures, or some other reason a catholic school feels like the best bet, despite all the issues.

How is it exactly brainwashing though? How will these children turn out, at the end of their brainwashing education? I'm intrigued to know how you will imagine the children will turn out?

i personally turned out fine. I questioned religion a lot and especially during my teenage years with stand up debates with the nuns and for good reason. My brother was in a vegetative coma for 5 years before he died at the small age of 14. I loved the debates with them. They were not mean or cruel, they gave their beliefs and never judged me on mine or found it offensive that I was so angry at god. They sympathised with the trauma our family went through. If you asked me as I teenager, I had no faith but as years grew my belief grew (which was not from school) and I'm not ashamed to say I believe, I believe in god the son and the Holy Spirit. I was never brainwashed and whilst we talking of offensive things, I would find this offensive if you thought I have been.

i continuously said throughout this thread I do not judge anyone and respect all people. I do not put my belief onto anyone else or think they are pathetic or silly for not believing . I raised my children as I saw fit as I'm sure you do too. If anything my Catholic school taught me to respect others and not to judge them, so the so called brainwashing is actually beneficial. Some posters have forgotten in the religion arguments that what they are saying is offensive eg how our lord died on the cross for our sins. That the image of this is gross. (the very first time over 10 pages that I'm going to put my actual faith)

I'm actually grandmother and my children are grown. Today my eldest three are in their 20s, they do not feel brainwashed. Their closest friend circles are made up of mainly Muslims, some are Somali, some are Afghan, and some Hindus too. Both sons do not have white Catholic friends that are their closest friends. They know about all religions and have the upmost respect for their friends religions and their friends have the upmost respect for their religion. My grandchildren are also of mixed race. Even though there hasn't been anything said here. There has been previous religious debates that say faith schools cause a divide and racism.

Yet again OP does have another choice, 20 minutes by bus, hardly a massive time in London. There is options for her if she absolutely hates the thought of a Catholic school (sorry OP don't really want to drag you in it) I chose a Catholic school, half an hour drive by car because that's what I wanted. There is always a choice especially in London. Anyway OP looked at the school and seems happy so that is the main thing.

Elsie20 · 27/04/2023 19:08

CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 18:28

@hystericaluterus It is entirely possible that the OP is not in a position to devote 4 hours a day to getting her child to and from school....

4 hours lol

CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 19:16

@Elsie20 - what's so funny?

Elsie20 · 27/04/2023 19:18

4 hours is exactly what is funny. How does a 20 minute bus journey equal to 4 hours unless my maths is that appalling

CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 19:24

@Elsie20 the OP said it was an hour's walk. There and back twice is 4 hours. Unless my maths is that appalling.

CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 19:28

@Elsie20 And even if it is a 20 minute bus ride that will work out at least 2 hours a day, probably longer.

Elsie20 · 27/04/2023 19:28

CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 19:24

@Elsie20 the OP said it was an hour's walk. There and back twice is 4 hours. Unless my maths is that appalling.

And it's a 20 min bus journey. Why walk an hour when you live in London and have buses every 10 mins and trains every 2 mins. It's all for exaggeration to makes its sound more of a drama. So yes, why waste 4 hours walking when you have everything on your doorstep to make life easier. So realistically it's a 20 min bus ride, so will not take 4 hours.

Stryke · 27/04/2023 19:33

Elsie20 · 27/04/2023 19:28

And it's a 20 min bus journey. Why walk an hour when you live in London and have buses every 10 mins and trains every 2 mins. It's all for exaggeration to makes its sound more of a drama. So yes, why waste 4 hours walking when you have everything on your doorstep to make life easier. So realistically it's a 20 min bus ride, so will not take 4 hours.

Show quote history

Cost? Unreliablity of London buses, especially in rush hour! Not wanting to risk being late to collect, if the bus breaks down.
I'd definitely prefer to rely on my own two feet than trust public transport day in day out.

Even if they were reliable, that's £1.75 per trip for an adult, that's £6 a DAY, £30 a week. I'd definitely avoid that if I could.

Plus as per the original post, local friends are really important.

Elsie20 · 27/04/2023 19:34

CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 19:28

@Elsie20 And even if it is a 20 minute bus ride that will work out at least 2 hours a day, probably longer.

the actual point is, if you hate something so much and you can not stand it, then you would allow that time. It would be amazing to do that if you believed it benefited your child and not to have all the religious rubbish shoved down your child throat and go against everything you believed.

many people have that journey to do to their nearest school regardless of faith, not everybody has the privilege of a school on their doorstep.

this is pretty pointless anyway as OP seems to like the school and also benefits being in London where there is a lot of movement so her preferred choice will probably come in September.

CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 19:36

@Elsie20 So an hour and twenty minutes actually on the bus. Plus the getting to the bus stop and getting to the school. I reckon 2 hours-ish. And all because christians think it's
oK to use public money to perpetuate their worlds view.

Elsie20 · 27/04/2023 19:37

Stryke · 27/04/2023 19:33

Cost? Unreliablity of London buses, especially in rush hour! Not wanting to risk being late to collect, if the bus breaks down.
I'd definitely prefer to rely on my own two feet than trust public transport day in day out.

Even if they were reliable, that's £1.75 per trip for an adult, that's £6 a DAY, £30 a week. I'd definitely avoid that if I could.

Plus as per the original post, local friends are really important.

Show quote history

Yet again a small price to pay instead of sending your child to a school they hate. Read my previous posts over the last 10 pages regarding choice ie HE ie being a in year application. This are the choices she already made which resulted is less choice for her.

Im actually happy for OP and I'm glad she is contented in her choice.

Stryke · 27/04/2023 19:37

CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 19:36

@Elsie20 So an hour and twenty minutes actually on the bus. Plus the getting to the bus stop and getting to the school. I reckon 2 hours-ish. And all because christians think it's
oK to use public money to perpetuate their worlds view.

👏👏👏👏

That's clapping for a point well made, not praying 😂

Elsie20 · 27/04/2023 19:38

CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 19:36

@Elsie20 So an hour and twenty minutes actually on the bus. Plus the getting to the bus stop and getting to the school. I reckon 2 hours-ish. And all because christians think it's
oK to use public money to perpetuate their worlds view.

Yes I believe it's fine 🙂

CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 19:39

@Elsie20 "many people have that journey to do to their nearest school regardless of faith" I live in the back of beyond and I don't know anyone who has that sort of journey to their nearest school.

Elsie20 · 27/04/2023 19:40

CurlewKate · 27/04/2023 19:39

@Elsie20 "many people have that journey to do to their nearest school regardless of faith" I live in the back of beyond and I don't know anyone who has that sort of journey to their nearest school.

Have friends who do not live in the back of beyond and know they have that journey.

have friends who live very rural and their nearest school is an 45 min drive

Stryke · 27/04/2023 19:42

Elsie20 · 27/04/2023 19:37

Yet again a small price to pay instead of sending your child to a school they hate. Read my previous posts over the last 10 pages regarding choice ie HE ie being a in year application. This are the choices she already made which resulted is less choice for her.

Im actually happy for OP and I'm glad she is contented in her choice.

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We are in a cost of living crisis. £30 a week is a massive amount of money to many many families. Plus you'd be making them time poor as well.

Stryke · 27/04/2023 19:43

Elsie20 · 27/04/2023 19:38

Yes I believe it's fine 🙂

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I will assume that most people do not, though.