Page 5 | Sex education year 4

Changernamerjoker · 2021-12-06T17:59:45+00:00

Hello - just trying to gauge of what happened was ok today. Daughter is in year 4 and they started learning about puberty. We had started planning on bringing this up ourselves, but school has pipped us to the post. So daughter learned about periods, breast development, BO, hair growth as well as what happened to the boys. Boys and girls stayed in the same Class (girls and boys were separated for this in my Day, is that not longer done?) They also discussed ‘the boys worms getting to the egg’ but my daughter has no clue how that happens. I obviously need to explain this to her tonight (feel a bit taken by surprise) Daughter is both confused and upset. Parents were not given the heads up on this lesson plan. Is this right? Do schools just do this now with our parental consent? DD is in the private sector if that matters?

OutOfCyan · 06/12/2021 21:06

The Samaritan fact is fascinating, I have never heard that before.

It's so important for girls to learn about periods before they come. Mine started at ten 30 years ago and my ds was 9. My friends mum was a teacher around then and she had girls who had started their periods in class and had no idea what was going on, which must have been terrifying for them.

OutOfCyan · 06/12/2021 21:06

And I really hope by normalising periods young, girls won't see them as being something to be embarrassed about

Original poster

Changernamerjoker · 06/12/2021 21:08

She will be sorely disappointed then.

We all know periods are shit. Yes we can empower them and those that have them, but they are shit.

Worth my babies but totally shit. I have been totally honest with my daughter about that and I will allow her all the time to be sad and grieve her pre period life - because that’s is NORMAL.

OP posts:

titchy · 06/12/2021 21:12

@Changernamerjoker

Why do you all fine it weird that periods upset her?

Do you all love bleeding every month or something?

Bleeding every month is a bit shit and she’s bummed that will happen to her. Why is that weird?

Because most girls AREN'T upset about it. They accept it as something that they have to do. Like boys accept shaving every day when they're older. It's not traumatic.

BHX3000 · 06/12/2021 21:13

@Changernamerjoker

Why do you all fine it weird that periods upset her?

Do you all love bleeding every month or something?

Bleeding every month is a bit shit and she’s bummed that will happen to her. Why is that weird?

It’s weird because it’s part of life, and she only finds it weird because she just found out about it. I remember feeling a little scared when I got mine - at the thought of how I’d cope at school - but it lasted for less than a day and I wasn’t upset because of the period itself. The thought of ‘I’m a girl and will get my period in X years’ shouldn’t be upsetting. If they grow up knowing about it, it’s not upsetting - because they literally don’t remember learning about it. I don’t remember learning about periods. I don’t remember learning about conception. In the same way I don’t remember learning numbers or how to write my name.

I don’t love bleeding every month. I don’t think anybody does.

I also don’t love cooking, doing the dishes or going shopping for clothes. I actually hate all those 3 things.

But I don’t find any of them upsetting or disturbing, because it’s just life and honestly, not worth getting upset at. The things we hate shouldn’t be disturbing or upsetting, just because they're shit.

Quornflakegirl · 06/12/2021 21:15

We had a letter home telling us this would be taught at school. There was no mention of sex, sperm or eggs however, just puberty in boys and girls. My girls are 9 and in year 4 and have just started getting whiffy underarms so puberty is slowly starting but they have no idea about sex. They know about periods and how their bodies will develop and are happy in their understanding of this but sex and how babies are actually made has never come up so I haven’t mentioned it. They do know how babies are born and are confident in discussing this. I’ve decided to wait until they start asking questions to discuss sex with them. OP, you dc isn’t alone in her lack of knowledge on this topic.

titchy · 06/12/2021 21:16

@Changernamerjoker

She will be sorely disappointed then.

We all know periods are shit. Yes we can empower them and those that have them, but they are shit.

Worth my babies but totally shit. I have been totally honest with my daughter about that and I will allow her all the time to be sad and grieve her pre period life - because that’s is NORMAL.

And I'm sorry your periods are shit, but most women do NOT feel like you do. Your reaction is, understandably given your issues, extreme. Most women regard periods as a nuisance yes, but 'utterly shit', dreadful, awful. Not really no.

I'm sorry you've gone and told your dd that hers will be awful and dreadful and terrible. Even if she has pain free, light and regular periods she is likely to regard them as abhorrent now you've given her that viewpoint.

Fashionesta · 06/12/2021 21:16

Haven't read the full FT but am shocked that in this day and age women are still passing on that periods are something to feel embarrassed about to their daughters.

DD 9 in year 4 has been fully informed about periods and we have already discussed period pants when they time comes as she's already said she doesn't want to put a stick up her vagina!!

Honestly though, she's been in and out of the toilet since she could walk and that has included me sometimes having my period. I've also leaked in bed at night which she has seen in the morning.

Much better to educate your children that it is all completely normal rather than something that will come as a shock.

BHX3000 · 06/12/2021 21:16

I will allow her all the time to be sad and grieve her pre period life - because that’s is NORMAL

Okay, this is just getting strange now.

I hope you’re not using those words with her? Grieve? Grieve for what?

No, it’s not normal to ‘grieve’ pre-period life, whatever that means. What exactly will change in your daughter’s life when she gets her first period?

Unless she’s a competitive gymnast or swimmer in which case I guess she will need to change how she approaches training one week every month.

Apart from that and the occasional ill-timed beach holiday, what will change in her life?

dustandfluf · 06/12/2021 21:19

@Changernamerjoker

No heads up at all. Nothing.

Is 11 seriously the average now?! Im 34 and was 13 (just) when it happened to me, and I was easily one of the first. I was definitely at secondary school. I think we knew of 2 girls at primary school it had happened to.

Why is this happened earlier these days? 11 was absolutely not the norm circa 2000.

I'm also 34 and I started my periods in year 4 when I was 10. I wasn't the first girl in the class either. Two girls before me and one after. It's not a new concept. I'm surprised you've never spoke about periods with your daughter before.

dustandfluf · 06/12/2021 21:20

@Changernamerjoker

I’m sorry but 8 isn’t normal. If kids are getting their period in year 3 (and this is seen as normal) then I’m living on a different planet because - although possible - 8 is not normal and it would be very sad for any 8 year old to start a period.

It's not sad to start having a period. Please do not say this kind of thing around your daughter!

Original poster

Changernamerjoker · 06/12/2021 21:20

You guys clearly have liveable periods if you can compare them to shaving or dishes.

Possibly accept that you are lucky and there are a hell of a lot of women who go through hell and back every month, and don’t find periods to be ‘one of those things’ and maybe there are millions who find them absolutely horrific.

To clarify again. My daughter now aged 9 (just) knows about them and will have time to adapt before it happens to her….

OP posts:

TizerorFizz · 06/12/2021 21:20

I think we have to accept that some parents see childhood as a period of total innocence and this includes sex and relationship education. Some parents remove DC from the lessons and no doubt the op would have done this had she known about the curriculum.

As it’s a fee paying school I’m not sure if best policy is being followed regarding explaining the curriculum to parents. I would expect details of what is to be covered to be circulated to parents whether it’s required to be or not. It’s always better to explain what you are teaching and many state schools do. It’s simply best for parent/school communication and trust.

The OP believes DC are better protected from the rigours of the outside world if their “childhood” and “innocence” are extended. I’ve met many parents like her. It’s not unusual at all. However it’s why sex and relationship education is important. It gives all children a factual introduction to the topic. Parents should be assisting by having earlier conversations so it’s not a surprise at school. I do think schools should prepare info for parents on what they are teaching so there are no surprises or upset. Working together is always best for the whole school community.,

santasmuma · 06/12/2021 21:22

@Changernamerjoker

Why do you all fine it weird that periods upset her?

Do you all love bleeding every month or something?

Bleeding every month is a bit shit and she’s bummed that will happen to her. Why is that weird?

I just read your OP so it wasn't clear the upset was about the periods.

ThisIsNotARealAvo · 06/12/2021 21:23

I started at the age of 9, this would have been in 1988. One or two friends started around the same time. But I had known about periods since I was tiny, ever since I asked my mum why there was a bin in the toilet aged about 5. If I hadn't I would have freaked out probably. When DD started aged 11 she also knew the basics, but I realised I hadn't explained that she would carry on bleeding at night and she was surprised. I felt really bad about that because I thought I had prepared her.

santasmuma · 06/12/2021 21:23

I will allow her all the time to be sad and grieve her pre period life - because that’s is NORMAL.

I don't think it is tbh. It's a bit weird.

TizerorFizz · 06/12/2021 21:25

@Changernamerjoker
It might be best if you didn’t describe periods as “horrific” in front of DD. For the vast majority of women this isn’t the case. And hopefully DD will find everything straightforward when she starts. If you need help every month, might I suggest you try and access it. It’s not right to project your “absolutely horrific” periods onto your DD. It’s really not fair.

titchy · 06/12/2021 21:25

I realised I hadn't explained that she would carry on bleeding at night and she was surprised.

Friend of mine's mum told her girls are usually around 11 or 13 when they start, and around 50 when they finish. So the dd thought periods lasted for 40 years with no breaks at all!

Original poster

Changernamerjoker · 06/12/2021 21:26

Who are you people?

When my friend started her she begged her mum for a hysterectomy.

The girls I was at school with (2000’s Leicestershire way) we’re absolutely traumatised.

I’ve lived in London since 2005 and about 90% of women hate their period and also
Have horror stories about them.

Who are you people?

OP posts:

Original poster

Changernamerjoker · 06/12/2021 21:29

By the way, I haven’t told my daughter about the pain and suffering. You’ve all made wild assumptions.

I’ve told her about the scientific facts and given her a tour of my drawer and explained it to her. Her teacher told her it can give her a ‘bit of a tummy ache’ and I agree it can.

That’s it - but great assumptions everyone.
I actually do know how to know scare the shit out of my own child.

FYI. The science facts have bummed her out massively and she absolutely
Doesn’t want to get a period. Which is fair enough…

OP posts:

ldontWanna · 06/12/2021 21:29

@Changernamerjoker

She will be sorely disappointed then.

We all know periods are shit. Yes we can empower them and those that have them, but they are shit.

Worth my babies but totally shit. I have been totally honest with my daughter about that and I will allow her all the time to be sad and grieve her pre period life - because that’s is NORMAL.

Ah that definitely explains why she is sad about it.

Original poster

Changernamerjoker · 06/12/2021 21:30

@TizerorFizz

I think we have to accept that some parents see childhood as a period of total innocence and this includes sex and relationship education. Some parents remove DC from the lessons and no doubt the op would have done this had she known about the curriculum.

As it’s a fee paying school I’m not sure if best policy is being followed regarding explaining the curriculum to parents. I would expect details of what is to be covered to be circulated to parents whether it’s required to be or not. It’s always better to explain what you are teaching and many state schools do. It’s simply best for parent/school communication and trust.

The OP believes DC are better protected from the rigours of the outside world if their “childhood” and “innocence” are extended. I’ve met many parents like her. It’s not unusual at all. However it’s why sex and relationship education is important. It gives all children a factual introduction to the topic. Parents should be assisting by having earlier conversations so it’s not a surprise at school. I do think schools should prepare info for parents on what they are teaching so there are no surprises or upset. Working together is always best for the whole school community.,

Possibly the best comment on here.

Thank you

OP posts:

titchy · 06/12/2021 21:32

@Changernamerjoker

Who are you people?

When my friend started her she begged her mum for a hysterectomy.

The girls I was at school with (2000’s Leicestershire way) we’re absolutely traumatised.

I’ve lived in London since 2005 and about 90% of women hate their period and also
Have horror stories about them.

Who are you people?

Gosh that's really really unusual. No, your experience is not what most women and girls think at all. Are you from a culture where these sorts of things are totally hushed up?

Original poster

Changernamerjoker · 06/12/2021 21:32

[quote TizerorFizz]@Changernamerjoker
It might be best if you didn’t describe periods as “horrific” in front of DD. For the vast majority of women this isn’t the case. And hopefully DD will find everything straightforward when she starts. If you need help every month, might I suggest you try and access it. It’s not right to project your “absolutely horrific” periods onto your DD. It’s really not fair.[/quote]
Jesus Christ. Read the thread before making genuinely insulting comments.

OP posts:

ldontWanna · 06/12/2021 21:33

@Changernamerjoker

By the way, I haven’t told my daughter about the pain and suffering. You’ve all made wild assumptions.

I’ve told her about the scientific facts and given her a tour of my drawer and explained it to her. Her teacher told her it can give her a ‘bit of a tummy ache’ and I agree it can.

That’s it - but great assumptions everyone.
I actually do know how to know scare the shit out of my own child.

FYI. The science facts have bummed her out massively and she absolutely
Doesn’t want to get a period. Which is fair enough…

What exactly are these science facts?