School refuses independent after school discharge.

[Barrelofwine]

Hi all.

I need your guidance and expertise, please.

After a scrupulous research and long conversations me and my wife decided that our children are mature enough and the conditions are favourable for an independent walk back home from school.

Our son is y.5 (9y.o.) and our daughter is in y.3 (8y.o.), although very often she is the more mature one.

After an email exchange with the school we've been partially refused as the school has "legal safeguarding duties" and "other schools in the borough do the same" and they don't allow children younger than y.5 to walk back home unaccompanied. The 9y.o. Is fine coming back by himself (and he's loving it!)

I've got several questions her:

• isin't it the whole point of the government guidance is to leave the decision to individual parents?

• isn't the school infringing on my rights?

• I haven't been asked any questions by the school; how long is the walk? (0.3miles, considering that she will join her brother after 100 yards that's even less), how long will they be alone for (30 minutes). Hiw does the route looks like? (leafy, residential area l, crossing a road only once, residential road, barely any cars), Why there is no individual approach in contacts with the parents despite learning individualisation being on top of the agenda?

• Are there any services that I can contact if I feel I've been mistreated?

• what would you do next if you're 100% positive she's ready and safe to walk back independently?

Sorry for my rant, but I just feel we've been denied something here.

Our daughter is mature and responsible, she is on top of her learning being one of the best in the class. There is no social care involvement and we're both education professionals with tight grip around our children wellbeing.

The problem for the school is that if they allow your year 3 child to walk home alone, they have to do it for the whole year group, and some children of that age won't be mature enough.
If, heaven forbid, there was an accident on the way home, then I think the school would be partially to blame for allowing the freedom.

Check out Switzerland.

Children expected to find their own way to school from aged 5.

She’s either 7 or only just 8. Unless you live across the road from the school and stand at the garden gate where she can see you, then she’s too young to walk home alone. Her older brother is not old enough to take responsibility for her. Just pick her up.

@JayAlfredPrufrock

Check out Switzerland.

Children expected to find their own way to school from aged 5.

Comparing how things are done in different countries isn’t a good argument. In Afghanistan, girls over 11 aren’t allowed to go to school now. Should we follow their lead?

They arnt infringing on your rights they are safeguarding your child

If your so close then what’s the issue with nipping to pick them up anyway?

I have just realised your expectation is for them to go home let themselves in and look after themselves! I wouldn’t encourage the school to ask questions then

I wouldn’t bother pushing this. It’s just not worth a fight.

You can encourage her independence in other ways on weekends and holidays.

She's too young, just be patient. The school will make a referral to social services if you persist, why is there such an issue in delaying this independent jaunt for your DD?

@Gardenlass

The problem for the school is that if they allow your year 3 child to walk home alone, they have to do it for the whole year group, and some children of that age won't be mature enough. If, heaven forbid, there was an accident on the way home, then I think the school would be partially to blame for allowing the freedom.

And it’s not necessarily about the child. A car mounts the pavement and knocks one of them- driver leaves the scene - can the year 3 one handle it? Can the older one?

What apart in the dark and pouring rain or ice?

Our school days year 6 and over can leave alone.

So this is entirely for their benefit because they want to do it and are so mature?
It’s not so you can avoid paying for childcare?

Why I feel I'm being attacked for exercising my rights? There is no legal age for an independent walk home for a reason. Otherwise it would be stated clearly.

This wouldn't be allowed in our school either. I teach in yr 3 and would not be putting the responsibility of one onto a yr 5 child, especially one that isn't that mature.

There are also very few 8 and 9 year olds mature enough to not only travel independently but also be home alone regularly.

I’m guessing this is to do with not wanting to pay for after school childcare?

This is yet another example of school's interfering in a parent's choices. If you think your kids are mature enough, that should be the end of the matter. All this helicopter parenting is resulting in snowflake children with no street smarts and little to no resilience.

@Barrelofwine

Why I feel I'm being attacked for exercising my rights? There is no legal age for an independent walk home for a reason. Otherwise it would be stated clearly.

You could use that argument to say school would be right to let a 4 year old walk home alone if their parent said so. Would they in your opinion?

@Barrelofwine

Why I feel I'm being attacked for exercising my rights? There is no legal age for an independent walk home for a reason. Otherwise it would be stated clearly.

Because it’s about your children’s safety rather than your rights

Just adding a bit of colour 🙄

It will be the school's policy, which you agreed to when your child started the school.
The school have a duty of care for your child and being collected by an appropriate adult will be part of their safeguarding strategy. You will have to wait until your y3 child is older.

You’re not going to win this one OP and you’re going to get a reputation at your child’s school for being a dick. Do you really want that?

It's a stupid rule, but there it is and it seems to be standard now- I think it should be parents' decision as to when kids walk and parents should have the option to say they take full responsibility but ho hum. DS's school didn't allow kids to leave alone until Y6, but due to COVID they started allowing it from Y5, presumably because it meant fewer people on site, which just goes to show it was entirely possible to change your approach.

I actually think an 8 and a 9 year old can walk home after school for a third of a mile together. (Should not take 30 minutes, more like 15 at most.) Especially if you are home waiting for them.

I think it would be good for their independence and development.

Will they then be alone at home for 30minutes? In which case, no they are too young to walk home alone and let themselves in and wait alone.

‘Exercising your rights’

Get over yourself

You hand your kids over to the school to look after all day, they take that responsibility seriously and aren’t going to let them wander off just because it’s more convenient for you than paying for out of school care or showing up for your kids