School refuses independent after school discharge.

[Barrelofwine]

Hi all.

I need your guidance and expertise, please.

After a scrupulous research and long conversations me and my wife decided that our children are mature enough and the conditions are favourable for an independent walk back home from school.

Our son is y.5 (9y.o.) and our daughter is in y.3 (8y.o.), although very often she is the more mature one.

After an email exchange with the school we've been partially refused as the school has "legal safeguarding duties" and "other schools in the borough do the same" and they don't allow children younger than y.5 to walk back home unaccompanied. The 9y.o. Is fine coming back by himself (and he's loving it!)

I've got several questions her:

• isin't it the whole point of the government guidance is to leave the decision to individual parents?

• isn't the school infringing on my rights?

• I haven't been asked any questions by the school; how long is the walk? (0.3miles, considering that she will join her brother after 100 yards that's even less), how long will they be alone for (30 minutes). Hiw does the route looks like? (leafy, residential area l, crossing a road only once, residential road, barely any cars), Why there is no individual approach in contacts with the parents despite learning individualisation being on top of the agenda?

• Are there any services that I can contact if I feel I've been mistreated?

• what would you do next if you're 100% positive she's ready and safe to walk back independently?

Sorry for my rant, but I just feel we've been denied something here.

Our daughter is mature and responsible, she is on top of her learning being one of the best in the class. There is no social care involvement and we're both education professionals with tight grip around our children wellbeing.

My dcs primary would let Y3 and above leave independently with written permission from parents. Youngest left 2 years ago so I don’t know if it’s still the case. This doesn’t help you as your dc go to a different school.

Reading all the Harry Potter books by 8 robs children of the chance of discovering the later books when they are emotionally mature enough to understand the teenage themes. They think they’ve read them, but they have only half read them, the subtleties go over them and are missed. It’s theft. Loads of excellent books well suited to that age group. Stop rushing your babies to grow up. Childhood is bloody brilliant. Allow them to have one.

Just pay for childcare like the rest of us. It's only a few more years. What price safety & piece of mind? Year 3 is too young to be at home without an adult.

If you don't agree with the safeguarding procedures put in place by your children's school then you are free to move them to a school which will permit your request.

We have a rule at my infant school, that children cannot be collected by anyone under the age of 13y, this annoys some parents. However, the rule is in place and school will not amend it because a handful of parents over the years have been put out about it. We need to safeguard the pupils in our care in the ways which we feel work best for the school as a whole.

I think the poster hoping that OP isn’t a teacher in Kent can sleep soundly

@LuchiMangsho

But even in Switzerland are they coming home to an empty house? I suspect not.

It’s unlikely. And often everything is very much set up for children to be walking home on their own. Either because local authorities have made it safe for them to do so or there are walking buses which will take them if the route is trickier. And drivers will be expecting children walking on their own at certain times of the day.

It very different to the U.K. where it’s unusual and unexpected.

‘After a scrupulous research…’ 🧐

No.

Our middle DC is in Yr 6 and is an avid reader, but no.

I work in this area. I am obviously unable to share anecdotes referencing why this is not a good idea.

I spent some time in a Nordic country as DP was working there for a bit. I still have visions of a young child walking alone into what looked like a forest at the crack of dawn on their way to school!

When did schools start controlling whether children can walk home alone or not depending on their age? I'm in the US but grew up in the UK and was cycling to and from primary school from age 8. Walking home with a group of other kids from same age with kids ranging from 7-10.

Where I am in the US most of the schools don't have pavements near them so no one is allowed to walk which I think is bonkers.

If it will take them 30 minutes to walk 0.3 miles they are too young.

I really think that finishing all Harry Potter books at the age of 8 is more difficult than walking 0.3 miles with no busy streets, oppenjng the door and waiting for daddy for 25 mins while playing Prodigy maths

How does reading a fantasy book or doing maths make a child ready to walk home and then be home alone? The 9 year old should not be "in charge" of his younger sibling either. Whilst there is no legal age, there are NSPCC guidelines.

8 is the norm for DCs to walk home alone around here. They go alone as well.

Quite often friends walk together.

Not for the school to decide.

isn't the school infringing on my rights?

Why I feel I'm being attacked for exercising my rights?

Lots of talk of your rights, not much of your associated responsibilities.

@Milkbottlelegs apparently what op actually wants is for the kids to be home alone after the school walk because he doesn’t want to arrange childcare.

Blimey, we all walked home unaccompanied from y3 onwards back in the day.

Slightly different , but I arranged for my yr 6 child to pick up my yr 3 child once a week and walk home together. Less than 1km, 1 road with crossing warden and 1 residential. I was at home working.

School weren't happy but I outlined above and said I was taking responsibility. So they agreed for it to happen.

Push back, politely and outline all your mitigation and see what they say. I suppose you could take it to the governors for an ultimate decision but I think ultimately safeguarding will rule overrule your wishes.

The year 5 rule is pretty standard IME. The NSPCC guidance is that children of that age are too young to walk home from school alone.

This is bonkers.
My children are 7, 10 and 11 and they walk. They did it last year at 6, 9 and 10 too. Some kids they're age catch a bus. We are in Australia.
Absolutely parents should be able to decide when the child is mature enough.

I'm going to go against the grain and agree with you OP. I really don't see the problem at all and agree that it is very beneficial to kids.
There is a very interesting book called 'The coddling of the American mind'. It is quite scary to be honest and the UK, alongside many western economies is well on its way to having an epidemic of children that aren't equipped for real life.
It is a complex issue but it does start small. This is perfectly presented on this thread. How crazy to think people think an 8 and 9 year old aren't equipped to be left alone for 30 mins.
The arguments around society have been around a long time. No one is forcing these kids to do miles of trekking or getting busses. If the parent is late, phones exist and surely alternative arrangements can be made.
Also the comment about grand theft auto. Actually, if an 8 year old child is playing a game rated 18 where you get prostitute's and steal cars, I would argue that's way more of a safeguarding issue than walking home.

Regardless, I'm afraid your battle with the school is one that will be lost but there is a small amount of us that do see sense in your post.

we all walked home unaccompanied from y3 onwards back in the day.

I think times were a lot safer and rules a lot more lax to be fair. No mobile phones to take photos or videos of the kids, no online networks to say these young kids walk home and are alone for half hour every day. People are more likely now to not interfere if something seems amiss whereas back then people looked out for each other.

Thank you all for the well weighted responses and for the venomous ones too!

I had a bit of a punt here.

The truth is that my wife never agreed to my idea of the 8 y.o. Walking back unaccompanied. It was just my take on the polite email to school exploring this possibility.

Nevertheless I believe that it should be up to the parent what happens to the the child after the statutory school hours are over, not to the school.

The truth is that my wife never agreed to my idea of the 8 y.o.

And there it is...

Did she agree to leave them home alone for half an hour every day?

It should be up to the parent to decide what happens after school hours. Fair enough if you intend on parenting but neglect tends to rightly involve social services 🤷‍♀️

How is leaving a child for 30mins neglect?

@justcheckingreally nspcc say children shouldn’t be left alone under 12 years old.
Why risk a ‘worst case scenario’ for the sake of saving a few quid on after school clubs?

For what it’s worth in my experience, a very intelligent, competent 11 year old set fire to her house trying to do a candle making kit while home alone.
A 9 year old wanted to surprise his single mums with dinner and ended up with 3rd degree burns.
A 9 year old girl nearly snatched from the doorstep but neighbours intervened.
Young children walking home alone and followed by adults.
There are lots of what ifs and it’s just not worth it. The nspcc advice is there for a reason.

@justcheckingreally

How is leaving a child for 30mins neglect?

Lots of assumptions on this thread. And from a legal point of view what's the difference in leaving 8y.o. alone compering to 13y.o.?

At our primary children are encouraged to walk by themselves from Y5