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Original poster

What would happen if a child didn't want to do their work?

373 replies

Classof2032 · 29/04/2016 18:16

Basically that. My 5 year old was kept in at playtime and lost all of her Golden Time today. I feel it was extremely harsh and has the obvious side effect of her deciding that she doesn't like her teacher any more.

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parrotonmyshoulder · 29/04/2016 18:19

What would happen if all the children refused to do all of their work?

Original poster
Classof2032 · 29/04/2016 18:23

That wouldn't happen though, or the teaching would obviously be bad.

I can't understand why they wouldn't try to find out why she didn't want to do it, rather than just punish.

OP posts:
SpaceKablooie · 29/04/2016 18:23

We've had this a bit with DS - it seems to be when he's not confident about doing something, so he just doesn't do it. DH and I weren't thrilled about the school's approach, but DS seems to have moved past this phase.

Do you know why your DD didn't do the work?

greybead · 29/04/2016 18:24

Depends if it was out of character. If so, punishment was harsh. But for a persistent offender, probably OK.

Original poster
Classof2032 · 29/04/2016 18:25

I feel she's coming down with something, but it's not materialised yet. She has that funny smell of ill child.

What did your school do, Space?

OP posts:
ALaughAMinute · 29/04/2016 18:30

On the one hard the punishment seems a bit harsh and on the other hand your daughter needs to learn to conform even if she is only 5 years old. What does your daughter say? If she's okay about it I'd just leave it but if she's upset I'd have a quiet word in the teachers ear to try and find out what happened.

starry0ne · 29/04/2016 18:33

I am kind of assuming there was more to this...My DS went on writing strike for a few weeks in year 1...Teacher spoke to me, he may well of been kept in for all I remember , eventuallly he started again but the teacher can't have30 children doing it when they feel like it. Has your DD told you why she didn't do it?

redskytonight · 29/04/2016 18:35

Sounds like a natural consequence thing? She chose not to do her work at the normal time, so she had to do it at playtime/Golden Time?

Original poster
Classof2032 · 29/04/2016 18:35

She's sticking to 'I didn't want to' and 'I don't like her anymore' She's overtired. I'll get more out of her in the morning.

OP posts:
SoGodhelpme · 29/04/2016 18:42

She was kept in to do her work and you think that's extremely harsh? what would you have her do instead? and why on earth does it matter that a 5yr old has decided she doesn't like her teacher, obviously she doesnt like the fact she was made to work. I think you need to prepare her that there will be a lot more of this to come, unless she does her schoolwork.

saltlakecity · 29/04/2016 18:44

Yes. Let's just let the children pick snd choose when they want to work. I can't see any problems with that man.

How on earth do you know the teacher didn't try to get to the bottom of it before having to result to a consequence?

Original poster
Classof2032 · 29/04/2016 18:44

I would have expected the teacher to try and find out why, not issue an ultimatum that ends up as a battle of wills with a child.

I will not tell my child that she needs to do everything an adult tells her.

OP posts:
saltlakecity · 29/04/2016 18:54

I think you're going to have massive issues if you think it's fine for your child to pick and choose what she bothers to do. A teacher has around 30 kids and if every parent thought this way education would be unsustainable.

AngieBolen · 29/04/2016 18:58

So why didn't she want to do the work?

clam · 29/04/2016 19:02

So, with the luxury of open-ended 1:1 at home with a trusted adult, all she can come up with is "I didn't want to?"
Yet you think the teacher should have spent...how long?... coaxing the same response out of her?

Jeez.

Original poster
Classof2032 · 29/04/2016 19:06

I always get called PFB, but I genuinely don't see why an adult should force a child to do something they don't want to. If the teacher had allowed her to sit quietly for a book or something she would have ended up doing the work anyway.

OP posts:
SoGodhelpme · 29/04/2016 19:09

Who said she should do everything an adult tell her? Confused
OP, your DD has many years of education ahead of her and i can see you have a looong battle ahead of you, one you are bound to lose.

clam · 29/04/2016 19:10

I will not tell my child that she needs to do everything an adult tells her.

It's one thing instilling in your child the confidence to tell/say no when an adult is asking them to do something dodgy, but quite another to encourage them to defy their teachers on a whim. You've a rocky road ahead of you if you go that way.

clam · 29/04/2016 19:11

I always get called PFB,

Hmm Right, so you've form for this, have you?

LittleNelle · 29/04/2016 19:12

If she's in Reception it sounds harsh, but if she's in Year 1 then yes I think she has to know she needs to attempt the tasks the teacher sets for her.

saltlakecity · 29/04/2016 19:13

So what are you going to do in a couple of years when you want her to tidy her room, do her homework, put her shoes on etc snd she just refuses. You're going to sit her with a nice book and let her not do it. Are you kidding me?

clam · 29/04/2016 19:14

And I don't suppose there was any "forcing" going on. I had a child in my class (admittedly older but same principle) today who had virtually nothing on paper as we were approaching the end of the session. I told him he could either pull his finger out get a move on and finish the task then, or do it when the others were all going outside to play.

Guess which he chose?

Chippednailvarnish · 29/04/2016 19:17

Assuming that this thread isn't totally made up Hmm

I'm the proud owner of a bright boy who is stubborn and lazy.

I will back the teacher with any punishment for not working hard enough, their job is to teach and my job is to ensure that he is willing to learn. Why should any teacher have to waste their time pandering to your child when that time could be spent with a child who actually needs support. You'll be appearing in the Daily Mail next with a sad face moaning that your child was made to do their school work.

SilverGiraffe7 · 29/04/2016 19:18

Doesn't sound like the teacher has done anything remotely unusual to me.

Teacher: Why aren't you doing your work?
Child: I don't want to.
Teacher: Oh, that's a shame. Is there a reason you don't want to do your work?
Child: I just don't want to.
Teacher: Ok then. But if you don't do it now, you'll miss your play to do it/do it in golden time.

I suspect the teacher did try to find out why your DD didn't want to do it, and was given the same answer your DD gave you.

"If the teacher had allowed her to sit quietly for a book or something she would have ended up doing the work anyway." How do you know that would be the case? I expect that your DD could have chosen to do the work at any time and didn't! If she had said, "I don't feel very well," then the teacher may have done that. Being met with, "I just don't want to!" is totally different!

You may not want to tell your child to do anything every adult tells her without question (and I wouldn't suggest you should) but I think your DD needs you to tell her that she must to do the work she is given by the teacher. Otherwise she'll be missing a lot more golden time in the future - which was her choice of when to do it. She could have done it when requested and didn't. Hopefully next time she'll do it when she should have.

Support the teacher/school and they'll support you and your daughter.

clam · 29/04/2016 19:22

If the teacher had allowed her to sit quietly for a book or something she would have ended up doing the work anyway.

Teacher: Children listen! Baby2032 doesn't want to do her work so she's going to sit in the book corner and choose for a bit. What's that? Can you do that too? Of course not! Why not? Because she's special.