What would happen if a child didn't want to do their work?

[Classof2032]

Basically that. My 5 year old was kept in at playtime and lost all of her Golden Time today. I feel it was extremely harsh and has the obvious side effect of her deciding that she doesn't like her teacher any more.

[sunwish]

I have never heard of a school where all golden time is lost at once, isn't it usually lost in increments? So this incident/refusal to do some work might not be the sole reason she lost all of her golden time. I'd ask the teacher whether she's been up to anything else.

Why should your child get to sit quietly with a book while all of the other children do the work? Can you honestly not see how letting one child sit reading a book just because they want to would lead to every child deciding they fancy sitting reading a book instead of doing any work?

If you think that she should be able to sit and do whatever she likes and be a distraction I'd suggest you homeschool her instead, for the benefit of the other children in the class.

[womdering]

Children shouldn't be kept in / deprived of their playtime. I think that this is an important right. If you check with school's Senior Management, you'll probably find that children aren't supposed to be kept in.
However, you'll also find that children are supposed to do as they're asked to by a teacher. It may sound Dickensian but it's a given and an important social rule that, if not accepted will inevitably lead to difficulties with your child's teachers and peer group.

There ARE, of course, children with high levels of anxiety or with special needs for whom this expectation is inappropriate and wavered and understood in good measure with their abilities.

[GraysAnalogy]

I don't know how teachers cope.

[GraysAnalogy]

Why should your child get to sit quietly with a book while all of the other children do the work?

For me as a kid that would have made me misbehave more.

[RidersOnTheStorm]

Your DC needs to learn that actions have consequences.

If she refuses to do her work she will lose something she enjoys.

You should be backing the school not being a PITA.

[lavenderhoney]

I wouldn't be very happy if one of my DC teachers said ok then go and read , my DC missing doing the work/ just getting on with it anyway.

Your child didn't want to do whatever it was. She still has to do it when she is asked. Of course she will say she doesn't like the teacher! " Oh dear. But you still have to do the work when asked,. "

[AllMyBestFriendsAreMetalheads]

I have a child in yr1 who is going through a stage of this, and missed playtimes and golden time yesterday because of it.

I would love it if the teachers were able to take the time to calm my child down and help find the confidence to do the work and find out what the problem is. But in a classroom with 29 other children, that's not going to happen. I understand that. I make it clear to my child that it is not fair for her actions to affect other children. It can take time for even me, as the parent, to get to the bottom of what started it without getting into the same battle of wills and teachers just don't have that time. We're happy to do work at home that is refused at school (temporarily of course, as part of a wider strategy).

OK, as for the why - it could be a fear of getting things wrong or not wanting to admit they don't understand something.

We're trying to reinforce that even grown ups have to do things they don't like sometimes, and that sometimes, something that seems really overwhelming is actually quite easy. And that getting this done means more time to do something that you do want to do.

[catkind]

Big question for me is, reception or year 1?
Cos in reception most 'work' is choice. When people say 5 is too young to be in school, everyone says 'ah but it's just EYFS, it's learning through play, it's all child led learning'. I wouldn't expect DC to be kept in for refusing to do work in preschool. And we're constantly being told reception is more of the same. In reception I could understand a parent not expecting whole class sit down and write now or else. Or DC not understanding that this piece of work is compulsory when most things they do are an activity that's set out and they can join in if they want to.

[LagerthaSilverHair]

Strategies that the OP thinks will work are likely to be completely impractical in school.

Rafa

The school's strategies have not worked either. For some children punishments and threats of punishment do not work. They just serve to alienate the child which escalates any problems.

Yes, children need to learn their actions have consequences. However this child is not at a level where she can fully appreciate them. What this child needs is an understanding of why she is being instructed to do her school work and how people learn best. Until she has a level of this kind of understanding punishments and threats will be counterproductive and in fact are being hence the OP's question.

[LagerthaSilverHair]

Thank goodness most people on this thread see things from the teachers perspective.

It's parents like you op that made me leave teaching. It's a bloody hard job and constantly being criticised for not making one out of 30 kids special was ridiculous!

Pinkgeek, taking sides doesn't help this child though, does it? If punishment and threat of punishment does not work, if this child is to learn, another solution must be found. If another solution is successful, this is beneficial all round. The class is not disrupted, the child learns successfully and the teacher is shown to be doing good work.

The OP has indicated she knows causing a 'battle of wills' is not productive regarding her child. She has experience of her child. Some children are much more strong willed than others, not out of malice but just because they do not fully appreciate why they are not allowed more automony or because certain instructions cause them huge anxiety. This is pertinent information which should inform the teaching of this child. This information, in itself, does not indicate poor parenting, necessarily.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

At 5 why is there an insistence for work to be done. At that age learning should be about doing funstuff. Alienate a child at that age and I can tell you first hand what the consequences are.
Ds never played out for a whole year because he hadn't done his classwork. He couldn't read or write because by the time he got interested in learning at the beginning of year 1 the teacher worked on the assumption everyone knew how to read and write and anyone who couldn't was just telling lies. There were several in his class thar struggled. Homework was a complete nightmare as he had to write essays despite his illiteracy. So there was more sanctions.

Ds finally learned to read at the age of 12 after I decided to HE.
7 years of Hell when a few weeks of easing off and setting an easier version of the work for the table of children who couldn't read and write might have been more appropriate.

Can your dd actually read and write or does she have difficulties with remembering things or does she have a problem not knowing what to write.

[CodyKing]

Children shouldn't be kept in / deprived of their playtime. I think that this is an important right

DS school deprive kids who hit others of their playtime because they can't be trusted - the others have a right to be safe outside.

She's 5, she's stubborn, and obviously from what you are saying she requires the teachers approval.

This should work in your favour - Yes Mrs X still likes you - be a good girls and do as your asked -

Job done.

I doubt your child will switch off because she's missed one golden time - that a bit of an over reaction -

Oh and 7 years your DS couldn't read? So you home schooled? What happened to evening and weekends in those 7 years? I find that unbelievable the teacher didn't know he couldn't read!!! The do guided reading, literacy and spellings everyday at DD school -

[user789653241]

Oliversmumsarmy, I just wondered why you didn't mention that your ds was having difficulty to the teacher for so long, until you decided to HE.

My ds had totally opposite, he stayed on same level reading books for long time in reception, although he was saying he wants to move on. I found out why at parents evening, when I mentioned what he said to teacher, she said his answer was always "I don't know", he was extremely lazy. The teacher thanked me for raising this issue, since then she started to push him.

[LagerthaSilverHair]

DS school deprive kids who hit others of their playtime because they can't be trusted - the others have a right to be safe outside.

Cody, yet depriving a child who lashes out, when anxious, can cause that child more stress and anxiety which means they are liable to lash out even more. It becomes a viscous circle. Instead why not tackle the anxieties, calm the child so that there are less instances where they are likely lose control?

[Kennington]

To give your child a reasonable chance of succeeding at school you will have to ensure she respects the teachers.
If you don't like these methods then you will need to home school.
Fighting the system is fine for an adult who knows the consequences, but not for your daughter.
Where do you want this to end up?

[LagerthaSilverHair]

^that should be 'vicious'. Typo.

[LagerthaSilverHair]

If you don't like these methods then you will need to home school.

No, you don't. There are mechanisms within schools which allow for some flexibility, when the more traditional punitive measures do not work. Otherwise schools would never be able to make allowances for even minor additional needs.

If schools are to be inclusive there must be a willingness to have some flexibility in approach. The more inclusive a school is, the less impact additional needs will have on a child's learning, since their needs will be catered for, as a matter of course.

[ProfessorBranestawm]

I knew there'd be suggestions to home educate :o

Gives home edders a bad name though. We aren't all just rebels who don't want our kids being told what to do some of us actually provide a well rounded education for our children and don't give in to the 'I don't want to' :o :o

[clam]

Lager, there has been no mention of additional needs here. In fact, those of us who recognise the OP from previous incarnations (not quite cricket to bring up, but still), know that this is an ongoing case of pfb-ism. In fact, the OP mentioned herself that she's often been accused of that, so it's not too much of a stretch.

[MrsKCastle]

I sometimes keep children in at lunchtime to do their work and I've always felt fully supported by the parents. (We're lucky that we have a fairly long lunch break, so the children will always still have a good chunk of time to play).

Yes, there are various reasons why a child doesn't work. Often there's anxiety about getting it right, or not understanding what to do. IME teachers always explain the work again and break it down into chunks. I would usually move the children, either to sit somewhere a little apart from the others (if I thought the issue was chatting/distraction) or to sit near me (if they needed some more praise and encouragement). If none of that worked, I would then start offering a choice: 'The work needs to be done, if it isn't done now, you'll have to do it at lunchtime'.

Usually it gets done by the end of the lesson, but if not I have no problem whatsoever with keeping them in. And as I say, whenever I explain this to parents, they tend to get quite cross... With the child. They reinforce my message, that school is for learning and we expect you to at least try... We don't mind if you make mistakes, but we DO mind if you choose not to work.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

Irvineoneohone I did mention is on several hundred occasions. I asked what I could do to help I offered suggestions and was met with blank stares or the fact that the national curriculum stated that children of his age should be able to read and write. so she was gearing her lessons to that of the NC. He was by no means the only child who couldn't read and write. No help given.
I don't think he will ever recover from what he went through in that year. The repercussions have been enormous and life changing. Just the sheer nastiness of the teacher.

[momtothree]

My DS and class mates are often kept back at lunch time for catchup maths - The teacher gives up her lunch time to do this -

He can play after school and the weekend and holidays -

I have no issue with this

[LagerthaSilverHair]

clam regardless of this child's parenting, this child still has a right to an education. Blaming the parent will not solve this child's problems.

Punishing, in the first instance has been counterproductive. Alternative methodology should be sought so that the problems mentioned do not escalate.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

Should add that this particular teacher was after his previous years teacher I had fired over what she put my ds through.

[LagerthaSilverHair]

Lager, there has been no mention of additional needs here.

clam often additional needs will only manifest when these needs are not met. If the way this child is parented at home, meets her needs sufficiently, the mother may be unaware of any additional ones.

If a more flexible approach, in school, would more sufficiently meet a greater number of children's needs, then a lesser number of additional needs would manifest in that school. So in a way, highly rigid systems within schools, are creating a greater number of additional needs, as the provision sufficiently caters to the needs of a narrower band children.