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Original poster

What would happen if a child didn't want to do their work?

373 replies

Classof2032 · 29/04/2016 18:16

Basically that. My 5 year old was kept in at playtime and lost all of her Golden Time today. I feel it was extremely harsh and has the obvious side effect of her deciding that she doesn't like her teacher any more.

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LagerthaSilverHair · 30/04/2016 10:43

^ of children. Typo.

sallyhasleftthebuilding · 30/04/2016 10:46

Why is there mention of Additional needs?

My children often say NO! Should I be worried?

The OP suggested she may be unwell - the teacher wouldn't know this!!

Anxious children often have anxious parents -

So by all means go in and complain - next time DD doesn't want to work - the teacher won't push her - your choice

clam · 30/04/2016 10:51

oliversmum You think you had a teacher fired? Hmm Yeah, right.

Lager By the sounds of it, this child's only problems mainly stem from her mother's attitude. And yes, she still needs educating, which is presumably what the teacher was trying to do, by asking her to finish her task during Golden Time.

Helenluvsrob · 30/04/2016 10:59

Honestly op? You child knows what they are supposed to do , refuses, refuses to say why ( as she has to you) , and has the consequences applied that have been previously explained for not complying with reasonable rules and you think it's unfair ?

No wonder there is a retention issue in teaching.

Home educate if you don't want your child to have to comply with the rules when they are entirely reasonable like " we need to do work now"

LagerthaSilverHair · 30/04/2016 11:00

My children often say NO! Should I be worried?

No, you should not be worried. However would you continue punishing a 'No' response, if this only escalated masters or would you have rethink to overcome the problem?

Anxious children often have anxious parents -

This is an unwise generalisation. Added to this, if a parent was anxious, do you think telling them off for it, would help?

LagerthaSilverHair · 30/04/2016 11:05

Lager By the sounds of it, this child's only problems mainly stem from her mother's attitude. And yes, she still needs educating, which is presumably what the teacher was trying to do, by asking her to finish her task during Golden Time.

clam Yet the teacher's actions apparently were counterproductive.

Also how do you know that this mother's attitude does not stem for a wealth of experience regarding what has proved to be the most successful way to encourage her child in her learning and manage / prevent any negative behaviour?

CodyKing · 30/04/2016 11:10

Also how do you know that this mother's attitude does not stem for a wealth of experience regarding what has proved to be the most successful way to encourage her child in her learning and manage / prevent any negative behaviour?

Do school rules don't apply to this child then?

Suggest she finds an alternative school and asked to see what the class rules are -

Generally children are expected to do their school work - so they get an education -

my2bundles · 30/04/2016 11:13

You should support the teacher, your child doing it today and not being punished will lead to others doing it tomorrow creating a problem in the classroom. Children refusing to work then leads to them messing around which leads to them disrupting the class. My son gets upset when there's disrupt the class in this way, he wants to learn and has a right to this free from parents who think their little darling should be treated differently to the other 29 kids. Support the teacher, and talk to your child about consequences.

Strictly1 · 30/04/2016 11:14

You need to work with the school not throw mud. This thread saddens me tbh. Teachers want the best for the children in their class and sadly that sometimes mean being given choices with clear consequences that are stuck to.

LagerthaSilverHair · 30/04/2016 11:21

Do school rules don't apply to this child then?

Of course they apply. However when faced with these rule not working, the school is legally obliged to make reasonable adjustments and alternative provision where they can.

Strictly1 · 30/04/2016 11:27

Where does it say that the sanction has not worked? She was made to complete her work after being given a choice etc and she's not happy. The proof will be if when given a choice next time she's makes a different decision. I agree, if she was being kept in and missing golden time regularly then things would need to reassessed, but that's not happening.

Are we suggesting as a body of parents that all children should receive golden time regardless of choices made?

I want my child to know that there are rules in life and sometimes they don't suit but we follow them unless we have a good reason not to. 'I don't want to' is not a good reason.

clam · 30/04/2016 11:35

The mother may well have some strategies that she finds successful at home (like letting her do what she wants instead) but she cannot expect the teacher to run her classroom around what this one child finds acceptable. That way, chaos lies.

LagerthaSilverHair · 30/04/2016 11:47

The mother may well have some strategies that she finds successful at home (like letting her do what she wants instead) but she cannot expect the teacher to run her classroom around what this one child finds acceptable. That way, chaos lies.

clam This is overly dismissive of the mother. If the child was allowed to do 'whatever she wants' at home, there would be chaos at home too. Not many parents could sustain letting their child do whatever the child wants for any great length of time, without seeking support - it would be exhausting.

clam · 30/04/2016 11:49

You haven't seen her previous threads, clearly.

LagerthaSilverHair · 30/04/2016 11:53

Are we suggesting as a body of parents that all children should receive golden time regardless of choices made?

I am not asking for that.

What I am advocating is a less reactionary, more thoughtful, flexible, graduated approach in general. A significant proportion of children need time to properly understand rules and how they benefit them before they are able to be compliant. Showing no tolerance for this is counterproductive.

Shesinfashion · 30/04/2016 12:34

My daughter has ASD (aged 7) and quite often refuses to do the work she's been set which is completely doable for her. She is being stubborn and just doesn't want to be arsed to do it.

She frequently misses playtime, golden time, has her "fun" activities cancelled. I removed her iPad at home for everyday she refuses to do her school work. I'm glad the teachers are showing her the consequences of refusal. She's there to work.

LagerthaSilverHair · 30/04/2016 12:47

Shes is this a successful tactic? I've no problem with it if it is. I understand well that children often need a manufactured consequence, in order to make them pay attention to crossing a boundary, since the natural consequence is often too long term for them to consider very seriously.

However if this tactic is causing too great a deal of stress and anxiety, if they are not at a suffient level of self discipline in being able to control their impulses, then reducing the opportunity for crossing a boundary and setting more manageable boundaries would be a better course of action in my opinion.

OzzieFem · 30/04/2016 13:22

So when your child says "I just don't want to go to school" you let her stay home and read a book?

cansu · 30/04/2016 13:33

I think you have already posted about your child being kept in at golden time for hitting another pupil? You were unhappy about that too. I think tbh you might find school does not fit with your ethos. Most schools use sanctions of some kind for poor behaviour or refusing to do work. It would be easier for your dd if you back up the teacher and work on your dd following instructions. You can of course complain to the school but they are unlikely to see this your way.

my2bundles · 30/04/2016 13:37

So your child not only disrupts the class by refusing to work but also hits other children in class. You need to back the teacher, your child does need these punishments because her actions are negatively affecting the other children's education.

my2bundles · 30/04/2016 13:39

I'm actually cross about this now, what hope does your child have if you continuously allow bad behaviour to go unpunished? Not only are you doing a disservice to your child but also to the teacher and the other pupils in the class.

Oliversmumsarmy · 30/04/2016 13:43

Clam I complained about this teacher when I found out about what had been happening in the classroom since he began in her class in the September. That was at 9am. She was gone by first break. I had a friend who was a teaching assistant who told me that I was the last straw. There had been so many complaints. Set yes I did get her fired.

Shesinfashion · 30/04/2016 13:44

Larger, yes, it seems to be successful. We have many more "good" days than bad now. She is learning that her behaviour has consequences. The punishments are only instigated if other methods have failed. For example she has "learning breaks" to help her to focus, the timetable provides short bursts of "free time" as a reward for good behaviour. The withdrawal of playtime etc is the last resort.

Shesinfashion · 30/04/2016 13:50

OP, your lack of respect for the teacher shines through. You should be supporting him/her. It is in your daughter's best interests to understand the rules for school life.

OzzieFem · 30/04/2016 13:54

Oliversmumsarmy I would imagine you were the last straw and that she quit rather than was fired. Does it make you feel good, to think you were responsible for leaving?