What would happen if a child didn't want to do their work?

[Classof2032]

Basically that. My 5 year old was kept in at playtime and lost all of her Golden Time today. I feel it was extremely harsh and has the obvious side effect of her deciding that she doesn't like her teacher any more.

Maybe your DD should do everything any random adult tells them to do- but she does need to do what a teacher tells her to, otherwise she is not going to be able to be in mainstream education.

shouldn't do everything any random adult says

I think a conversation about 'Why you go to school' and 'How you learn', may be in order.

She essentially is saying 'No' on a whim because she will not fully understand the short term or long term consequences or fully appreciate she does not really know all that she is saying 'No' to. So you can discuss the importance of 'Having a go' at activities. Otherwise, as others say, life will be difficult and very restricted if she continues.

Punishment for this is, I feel, problematic because she is testing the boundaries because she does not fully understand. It may work if the consequences are a sufficient enough a deterrent but until she understands why she must do a particular thing she may just think it is all unfair.

Helping her understand why she has to do her school work, as instructed, will be the most beneficial thing for her, I think.

I will not tell my child that she needs to do everything an adult tells her.

And this is why you keep running into problems with the school isn't it? IIRC this in't the first issue you've had with them.

What should the other 29 children in the class be doing whilst the teacher has s gentle chat with your dd about why she might not want to do get writing?

YAB ridiculous.

Sounds like a natural consequence thing? She chose not to do her work at the normal time, so she had to do it at playtime/Golden Time

^^I agree with this. This is how the world works. There isn't an endless amount of time available to achieve tasks. You can't just read a book when you are supposed to be putting your shoes on for example.

She has to learn to do what she's told when she's told at school, otherwise it would be chaos. You might be right that she'd have done it eventually if allowed a break to read, but that's not true of every child, and a teacher simply has to have the same rules for everyone in order to be fair to anyone.

I agree with the suggested narrative upthread that runs:

"I don't want to do my work."
"Why not?"
"I just don't."
"It's important work, so you either finish it now or at playtime. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
"Are you going to do it now?"
"No."

OP, this is likely to continue to be an issue, so there's work you can do at home to prepare her. Show her that you clear the table / put your shoes away / fold the clean pants now so that you can enjoy drawing / MNing / going for a walk later.

A teacher cannot be expected to sit for half an hour (or however long it takes) to try and understand why your Dd won't do what she has been asked to do when she has a class of children who also need her attention.

You will find the teacher will have asked her why and she will have been given the same answer you have gotten since she has come home. What would you then expect her to do? The only option she has is to give an ultimatum and rightly so.

Allowing you Dd to do what she pleases and decide when she feels like doing the work would not have been fair while the rest of the class were expected to do the work.

What kind of example would that set for as she gets older, that she can do what she please when she pleases

IIRC this in't the first issue you've had with them.

Oh God, it's not that poster is it?

I can understand your reticence OP in saying she has to do everything an adult tells her to, as life is not that clear cut, is it?

However getting her to understand, why she goes to school and how she can learn whilst she is there and helping her to, essentially, make correct and informed choices, will help her (and her teachers).

People/children tend to challenge authority when they do not understand fully the importance of it. Get her to want to learn and do well, talk about how this happens, and there will be less problems like this.

Just carry on as you are OP. I just love teaching dc like yours when they hit their teens

I would have sent the work home and asked you to get her to do it!

I think so, assuming we're talking about the same one.

Evidently not much has changed since the Autumn Term.

I will not tell my child that she needs to do everything an adult tells her.

Oh ffs - so home educate, then.

I would have sent the work home and asked you to get her to do it!

However teaching and class management is a teacher's job, not the parents. There are a whole host of reasons why a child may not be able to complete work at school. A parent is not necessarily qualified to teach, a teacher is.

As a parent, I would be discussing this with my child. However sending all the work home, in this case scenario, would be just a 'cop out' on the teacher's behalf. There are additional needs, such as Oppositional Defiance Disorder and Pathological Demand Avoidence which could manifest similarly.

If the teacher had allowed her to sit quietly for a book or something she would have ended up doing the work anyway.

Really? Would all children given the choice of working or not, choose to do something else and then decide to end up doing the work anyway?? I doubt that very much.

^when I say discussing this, I mean the importance of following the teacher's instructions, as I pointed out upthread.

I find it extremely funny some parent's reactions to something like this.
Once your child is in school, she/he should respect teachers/Ta/ any adults in school , and listen to what they say. At least that's my attitude. School is a place for learning, and teachers/TAs are there to teach, they aren't baby sitter.

It's been a while since we've had one from you. Do you still have the same dislike for your child's teacher? Have you considered home schooling yet?

Lost any jumpers recently?

Totally normal in my books.
She is at school and has to learn to do what the teacher is telling her to do, I've when the teacher says 'now class, this is time to do xxx', then she has to do it.

Teachers usually have a lot of tricks up their sleeves to convince a relunctant child. But one that is head strong and is refusing to do her work (and maybe creating mayhem in the mean time) will be dealt with, with very good reasons.

There will be plenty more time when she will have to do something that she isn't keen on.

I teach children with PDA. Please don't let this OP start to think that because her child didn't want to do a one piece of work that she has PDA!

The consequence was perfectly reasonable, although, as a teacher, I would not be wanting to have to repeat it regularly and would be considering other supports I could provide.

Btw your dd and the teacher need you to support the teacher.

I have had a child in my class who didn't want to do most work if it wasn't something he really, really enjoyed. Not a self confidence or capability issue as if and when push came to shove and it was a matter of 'You've only got 5 minutes left now and if it's not finished then you will need to finish it at playtime' you could guarantee that he would wizz through and get the bare minimum required done!

I can also guarantee that if I'd let him go and read or do the other things he'd like to do mostly nattering to his friends there would zero chance he'd then voluntarily do it himself anyway.

parrot I never said OP's child did have PDA. I mentioned PDA and ODD simply is response to the suggestion the work should have been sent home.

My point was because additional needs, such as the ones I mentioned (and others) can manifest in a child refusing to do their school work and problems with following instructions, merely sending the work home is a short sighted and somewhat lazy options. If the non completion of work becomes a problem, which it will if this carries on, the possibility of additional needs should be explored.