What would happen if a child didn't want to do their work?

[Classof2032]

Basically that. My 5 year old was kept in at playtime and lost all of her Golden Time today. I feel it was extremely harsh and has the obvious side effect of her deciding that she doesn't like her teacher any more.

[user789653241]

At least when my ds lost his golden time, he knew he has done something wrong(and he was honest enough to tell me), even in YR1, and I didn't think the teacher was extremely harsh. He learned the lesson.

[parrotonmyshoulder]

I know that, lager! I just hope she doesn't decide it could be a convenient excuse! Kids with PDA, as I'm sure you know, are very different to kids having a bit of a strop about work they don't like.

[clam]

Yes, work refusal can be due to additional needs. It can also be down to a child who has been led to believe that they can choose when to conform to or defy reasonable requests by adults.

I know which one I'd lay money on in this case.

[HarveySchlumpfenburger]

Even if this carries on though Larger, I think in this case the issue is more likely the OP's continual minimising of her daughter's behaviour and complete inability to back up the teacher over anything.

I'd imagine she's getting very mixed messages from school and home and it can't be very helpful for her.

[ReallyTired]

Does your daughter have learning difficulties or was she just been lazy? I don't agree with small children missing playtime, but I think it's fine to make her do the work during golden time.

I think the op had to ask herself what kind of future she wants for her daughter. Does she want her daughter to clean toilets on the minimum wage because she messed about at school?

[HarveySchlumpfenburger]

x posts with clam.

[AlanPacino]

From my experience in class, losing play time happens after staff have tried their very best to support a child to cooperate to no avail. It certainly won't be that the child simply 'didn't understand'. It is given as a consequence when a child refuses to stop chatting/leaves their seat.

[clam]

The OP has got fun and games ahead of her with this one during her teenage years! Unfortunately, I predict that she will have left a trail of disruption and chaos in her wake at school.

[AlanPacino]

'Not issue an ultimatum'

I've not come across a educational practitioner that didn't want a child to succeed. Sanctions really are for those incidents when reasoning doesn't work. I'm confident your dd isn't telling you the whole story.

[HarveySchlumpfenburger]

In my experience it will have been more of a choice than an ultimatum. With perhaps a small amount of encouragement to make the 'right' choice.

The outcome is still the same though. The work has to be done and there's a consequence for not doing it.

[AlanPacino]

You send her to that school in view of their behaviour policy which will set out what's expected from your child. If you don't agree then you shouldn't be sending her (SEN notwithstanding)

[clam]

So, where's the OP gone then? Perhaps she's negotiating terms for persuading her dd to clean her teeth and get into bed?

[Smilelikeyoufeelit]

Reading with interest,. I've just finished a piece of writing with my son, which he was 'reluctant' to do today. Apparently he stared at the paper all lunchtime, while others were outside playing, and didn't pick up a pen. I was fuming when he brought it home tonight! Not with his teacher, with him! I'm pretty certain that he'll do his work next week....

[user789653241]

One thing I think I done right by my ds is to make him respect teachers.(My father was a teacher.) He often argues with me, but never with teacher from what I hear from his CT, and believes what ever they say!

[spanieleyes]

Teachers don't like children having to stay in at break, since they have to stay in the classroom too and they miss their only chance to visit the toilet! It really is a last resort when persuasion/cajoling/distracting doesn't have any effect!

[jamdonut]

So, OP, even if the teacher HAD found out why your child didn't want to do her work, where does she go from there. If it was because your child feels a bit unwell...you think she shouldn't make her do her work?( If it was obvious she was very unwell, I'm quite sure she would get the office to call you to fetch her).
You think the other children wouldn't notice that this is a way of not having to do any work? At 5 years old, I can assure you, that the next day several more children would try the same tactics. It is not alright to say "I don't want to do it"!
We often have children try this and the response is always the same...if you don't do it now,you will have to finish it at break/lunch time, in YOUR time. Further refusal is failing to follow instructions, and usually ends up at the Head's office.

I don't know what else you think teachers can do to give children a consequence for this sort of behaviour ? Losing break or golden time is pretty standard.

[blaeberry]

I know a child who won't do most work and if allowed to go and read would never do the work voluntarily. However, if told he would have to finish in playtime he would be doing it in playtime and still won't finish (or even start). If told he would lose golden time, he would try very hard and maybe manage to start but would still lose golden time. The next day his self-esteem would be rock bottom, he would be exhausted and he would start to school-refuse.

[user789653241]

"If told he would lose golden time, he would try very hard and maybe manage to start but would still lose golden time. "

In this case, the child clearly needs some kind of support. He doesn't seems to be refusing to do the work because he doesn't want to do it.

[CodyKing]

I would have expected the teacher to try and find out why, not issue an ultimatum that ends up as a battle of wills with a child.

She didn't tell you either!

[LagerthaSilverHair]

Cody

This child may not be able to verbalise why she did not want to do her work. She is 5. At this age will not fully be aware of the consequences of her actions, short term or long term. Is punishment, at the first instance the best course of action, in these circumstances?

I would say probably not. Personally, I would back off, just a little and talk to her parents regarding strategies they have found successful. OP, her mother, seems to have an awareness that 'a battle of wills' could occur and was not surprised that this battle occurred in the situation of an ultimatum. So she must be using other approaches to manage her child's behaviour, otherwise life would be very difficult indeed.

Going from this starting point it is wrong to expect a child to respond to different behaviour management techniques overnight. She needs to learn why there are expectations of her - that they are not unfair and are in her interests. At the moment she does not know this. This little girl just thinks school is unfair.

[blaeberry]

irvine you are correct; he has dyspraxia. His difficulties shouldn't be hard to spot (though he still gets told off for things that are a direct result of his disability). Other children struggle with similar issues to a much lesser degree and it is not always clear that there is something behind it particularly at 5 years old. Punishments can undermine their efforts.

[CodyKing]

Golden time is a reward - I disagree with this (DS regular loses it due to whole class behaviour - rather than his behaviour)

But there you go - school rules are there so the teacher has authority - she won't be the first or last!

You should be more worried about her attitude towards the teacher - than not doing the work. If she said - I don't understand - or I feel sick - rather than a flat out "I don't want to" its defiant and if her teacher lets her get away with it - then the others will follow and chaos ensues -

[HarveySchlumpfenburger]

Strategies that the OP thinks will work are likely to be completely impractical in school.

[Pinkgeek]

Thank goodness most people on this thread see things from the teachers perspective.

It's parents like you op that made me leave teaching. It's a bloody hard job and constantly being criticised for not making one out of 30 kids special was ridiculous!
You are in for a rough ride with your dd

[Out2pasture]

maybe the OP should look at schools with a more self directed teaching style.
Montessori and steiner often allow youngsters to proceed at their own pace.
I had the pleasure to send my children to an open concept school where the children did wander in and out of classes and do their work where and when they wanted to.