Head told me to go make complaint at Ofsted it wont help me

[RP1979]

I just need to vent to into the black hole that is the internet...
Short story, my YR1 daughter came home this week touching her vaginal area, and when I asked why she keeps touching there, she said it hurts from where a boy in her class touched her there!! My stomach dropped and I tried to get as much detail as possible.
This boy is known by other mothers as he has been caught laying on other boys and trying to kiss them or stick his tongue in their mouth. He is also incidentally a really big boy and others can't fight him off.

So off to the Head we went the following morning. All sounded promising, action plan was drawn up etc. Then it fell flat when her class teacher told me after school she spoke to him and he denies it and the poor boy was very upset. The whole conversation left me feeling she didn't believe my daughter even though my daughter told her too in a conversation that he touched her.
All this btw while my daughter is standing next to me. So on the way home she asked me if her teacher didn't believe her and why wouldn't she believe her? What do you say to that??

I held it all in as we had a follow up meeting with the Head the following day. Unfortunately hubby had to go into work but thought as it was an update meeting I could handle it. How wrong was he. The head started by telling me had a word with the teacher and it seems very difficult to say if it did happen or not. I was speechless! Then furious! Told him I believe my daughter and why would a 5yr old girl make this up!? I was livid and then (probably wrongly) said I would go to Ofsted to complain- (ha what a mistake) he looked me in the eye and said, "don't threaten me, you can go to Ofsted, (then gave a laugh!) and added "I will even give you the number and the name you can talk to" ?!!?! Do we really have no power or control as parents. Is governing bodies just a box ticking exercise to give us a false sense of empowerment?? Unfortunately I was so surprised by his comment that I didn't think on my feet and said "well yes give it to me then"

I do wish my husband was present, would he have said that to me with him present in that tone?
This a supposedly 'good' school in an affluent borough... Or is that the exact reason why he can be so cocky?

Is there anything we can do or is it just a bitter pill that I will have to swallow and carry on.

On the upsetting event he said he spoke to the parent and the incident will be recorded. The teachers will talk to the children in the year group.
That is that.

If we had money I would have loved to put her in a private school.
What is the process of trying to move your child to a different school? Although around here they all seem to have long waiting lists.
Im just feeling let down by how they deal with parents...

Must add - would probably still have had to go through the appeal process to achieve this, but unlikely to be turned down.

It's a big step but you can threaten in writing to remove your DD if they do not tell you within x days how they will safeguard her. Then follow through if the HT does nothing. The council education welfare officer will want to know what is going on then.

Have you tried ringing the NSPCC, OP? Tel no: 0808 800 5000.

OMG OP - that is terrible! It sounds like the perpetrator has a very troubled background but that is no excuse for your DD and others to have to endure sexual harassment on a daily basis. I'm not a legal expert but there are a few solicitors in our family and in your position, I'd be tempted to get one of them to send the school a letter on headed paper demanding proper safeguarding measures are put in place.

Bet the head wouldn't be so "relaxed" if it was his own 5 year old dd being groped in the toilets

Ring social services and register the event and the schools non action. Your DD was effectively sexually assaulted and social services need to check to see if the boys being abused at home or exposed to inappropriate things - which is against the law. SS also need to support you and your DD. And lastly SS can ensure the school knows how to deal with such cases appropriately

Then write to the governors saying your DD was sexually assaulted at school and that the head has actively decided to fail in his duty of care to your child by not involving SS or believing he victim.

Ring social services please. Stop sending your child to school and inform the LEA, the governors and the head that while the school is failing in their duty of care to your child, you cannot risk your child's welfare in school.

Social services should be doing a home visit to the boy and working with you all.

I know it's a nuclear option, but you could deregister your child from the school and home educate them and you could make it very clear in your deregistration letter, copied to the LA, that you are home educating on a temporary basis until a place at another school comes up, because of this school's utter failure to ensure your child's safety on their premises.

Alternatively, yes, what Variousrandomthings wrote (slightly less nuclear options!)

Social services need to know. Also tell everyone including SS that your child is still being sexually assaulted almost daily.

But also this boy will most likely start sexually assaulting other children at some point too - it won't be only your DD. His behaviour is very worrying because he might be reenacting abuse he is receiving? Also how will this boys forceful sexual behaviour translate into adulthood, will he be an abusive man? He needs help.

Sorry, time poor so I have only read the OP. I experienced a similar thing with a HT. As there were safeguarding concerns I made a complaint to the governors, the LA and removed my DCs. They are now happy and thriving at another school with a professional HT. I can't tell you how much better the school is. You won't win, HTs have all the power. Move your DD.