Head told me to go make complaint at Ofsted it wont help me

[RP1979]

I just need to vent to into the black hole that is the internet...
Short story, my YR1 daughter came home this week touching her vaginal area, and when I asked why she keeps touching there, she said it hurts from where a boy in her class touched her there!! My stomach dropped and I tried to get as much detail as possible.
This boy is known by other mothers as he has been caught laying on other boys and trying to kiss them or stick his tongue in their mouth. He is also incidentally a really big boy and others can't fight him off.

So off to the Head we went the following morning. All sounded promising, action plan was drawn up etc. Then it fell flat when her class teacher told me after school she spoke to him and he denies it and the poor boy was very upset. The whole conversation left me feeling she didn't believe my daughter even though my daughter told her too in a conversation that he touched her.
All this btw while my daughter is standing next to me. So on the way home she asked me if her teacher didn't believe her and why wouldn't she believe her? What do you say to that??

I held it all in as we had a follow up meeting with the Head the following day. Unfortunately hubby had to go into work but thought as it was an update meeting I could handle it. How wrong was he. The head started by telling me had a word with the teacher and it seems very difficult to say if it did happen or not. I was speechless! Then furious! Told him I believe my daughter and why would a 5yr old girl make this up!? I was livid and then (probably wrongly) said I would go to Ofsted to complain- (ha what a mistake) he looked me in the eye and said, "don't threaten me, you can go to Ofsted, (then gave a laugh!) and added "I will even give you the number and the name you can talk to" ?!!?! Do we really have no power or control as parents. Is governing bodies just a box ticking exercise to give us a false sense of empowerment?? Unfortunately I was so surprised by his comment that I didn't think on my feet and said "well yes give it to me then"

I do wish my husband was present, would he have said that to me with him present in that tone?
This a supposedly 'good' school in an affluent borough... Or is that the exact reason why he can be so cocky?

Is there anything we can do or is it just a bitter pill that I will have to swallow and carry on.

On the upsetting event he said he spoke to the parent and the incident will be recorded. The teachers will talk to the children in the year group.
That is that.

If we had money I would have loved to put her in a private school.
What is the process of trying to move your child to a different school? Although around here they all seem to have long waiting lists.
Im just feeling let down by how they deal with parents...

Calling the police or the nspcc is not the action to take. You can call the LA and ask to speak to the lado team.

It needs to go through the lado as potentially the school has failed in its safeguarding duty. The police and nspcc will not do anything about that.

The LA will have a single referral point. So you as a parent can call and speak to the on desk lado team.

Why wouldn't they, acegik? (Not disputing this, genuinely want an answer.) Why would either the NSPCC or the police not be interested in a child safeguarding issue at a school?

Most people will not have heard of LADO.

Contact your local safeguarding board, they can give you advice and refer on. Mention safeguarding to the head. Safeguarding is very important when looking after children, the school are failing in their duty of care. Make a complaint to OFSTED citing safeguarding concerns, a hot topic at the moment. Good luck, your poor DD.

I don't understand why a sexual assault is not a Police issue?

Google children who abuse Bristol la. That is the very specific guidance for such incidents in 1 la but it will be similar nationally.

That's not what I was asking. Most people will not have heard of LADO, or know what to google. With that in mind, why would the police and the NSPCC not pay attention to a documented case of inappropriate sexual touching in small children that is being brushed under the carpet?

OP - there will be well documented procedures for these situations, it is important that you understand them and comply with what is required in order to ensure that you are heard and your concerns addressed.

The procedure the school should follow when there is an incident reported such as the one you describe will be documented in their safeguarding policy. This policy, in turn, will have to follow the requirements of your local Safeguarding Board - which are also available online. These vary from area to area, depending on how the local children's services dept works. There will be one or more trained and designated staff members in the school responsible for safeguarding and they will be familiar with the steps they need to take in such a situation. This process is strictly confidential - it is only shared where there is a need to know.

Secondly, If you are unhappy with the way the school has handled things so far, then there is a complaints policy that must be followed. OFSTED do not have any role in handling individual complaints. If you follow the procedure and are unhappy with the outcome of a complaint dealt with by the school, including by a complaints panel of the Governing Body, then it can be refered to the Secretary of State for Education. I suggest you confirm with the HT whether he is now treating this as an official complaint, and if so, where abouts in the schools "complaints flowchart" your next meeting with him sits.

Finally, If you are concerned about the safety of your DD at the school, then you can call your local SocServ dept as a member of the public (there should be a specific phoneline for that), and ask for their advice.

I appreciate it seems draconian and beaurocratic, but these procedures are in place to ensure that everyone has the same level of privacy, safety and opportunity to be heard.

LADO = Local Authority Designated Officer, for safeguarding children.

The use of the term and role of the "LADO" varies from area to area - where I am, the LADO is the point of contact for schools only when an allegation has been made against staff.

There is a dedicated helpline for members of the public who are concerned about a child, and a different number for school Designated Safeguarding Nominated Persons to call when they have a concern about a child.

Every area will be different which is why the policies for your particular school are so important.

The Bristol link was for the op.

It may ultimately be a police issue. Ultimately all of the allegations go to the same place as there should be a common referal point. However it is Friday afternoon. Going to the lado desk/central referral point directly will get it dealt with more quickly. here we call it all the lado but it is just the common referral point which is a desk manned 24 hours a day. The formal lado manages all allegations involving Dbs required staff- this would include allegations of failiure of safeguard and not just direct allegations of abuse. The op would be making a complaint that a designated person has not taken appropriate action which would be the lado here.

However the nspcc and probably the police will not consider the school response to date or be able to take a complaint about the lack of action whereas the lado would here as it is potentially a safeguarding failiure.

Being harsh the ops daughter is now safe. The other child may well not be.

Whatever the issue about ousted I think the head was very unprofessional and unreasonable, assuming the head is safeguarding officer, this is a very serious safeguarding issue!

This really is not a LADO matter.
A LADO becomes involved where is it alleged that someone working with children, in a paid, or voluntary capacity has:

• Behaved in a way that has harmed or may have harmed a child
• Possibly committed a criminal offence against or related to a child
• Behaved towards a child or children in a way that indicates he or she would pose a risk of harm to children.

There are three separate things that should be done here.

1. Follow the school's complaints procedure if you are unhappy with the way in which the head teacher, or individual members of staff have responded.
2. Get a copy of school's safeguarding policy (it should be on the school's website) to highlight how your child has not been protected
3. Call your local authority's Single Point of Access Team to report the incident.

Children's Services will themselves discuss this matter with the Police if they feel that there are issues associated with this child's behaviour that need further investigation (such as him being exposed to abuse himself).

Sandwich. I think we have clarified that the term and role of the lado varies. Here it is the term used for the whole referal process. There is an in office and out of office number. There is a public number can be used by anyone-all of the calls end up in the same place. Our formal lado would be involved in a DBS registered person failed to protect children rather than just abused them.

I think in your definition above if the ht has not referred the other child then he has behaved in a way that may have harmed a child (or failed to protect one). I can't think of a circumstance in which this incident should not have been referred. The school should have sought advice. They should not have discussed an action plan before this was done as the desk would have advised. They should not have discussed anything involving the other child with the op but seemingly they did.

To clarify you should call the police if you think a child is in imminent risk of abuse. You call 999.

Interestingly failiure to report abuse may be a criminal offence for teachers shortly.

The failure is really about the other child if nothing has been done and of course the op doesn't and shouldn't know what reporting took place for the other child.

Here

We call it all the LADO as a generic name for referrals. Any complaint of sexual or physical abuse on school premises would go to the actual LADO not just those involving staff. An allegation of abuse at home would just go to the central desk. A school could not choose not to refer an allegation like this. They must seek advice.

If it wasn't reported to the central referral point I would see it as a failiure in safeguarding by the head teacher and that would certainly be an actual LADO issue. Any complaint about school staff not following procedure would be paased by the LADO. Transparency is the key thing and an open culture.

Really bad reaction by head. I've been told that the school has a specific phone line for just this sort of incident. I agree phone NSPCC or Parentline.

Your child has been sexually assaulted by another child ... The age of the child doesn't matter. It is a serious matter.
My advice would be to contact your local authority safeguarding team (different authorities use different titles) and report the incident.

The first thing I would do is to get a copy of the school's safeguarding policy/child protection policy from their website and read through that. If it isn't on their website, then they are already failing in one statutory obligation... so that's one thing to hit the headteacher on the head with! Once you've looked through it, you will be in a better position to know what the school policies say they should have done. The policy is also required to give contact details for the LADO if that turns out to be the appropriate person to contact, and will tell you who the school's designated person for safeguarding is. If it fails to do that, then the school's policy is out of date and not in compliance with the latest legislation, and therefore another thing to hit them on the head with.

I would also contact the NSPCC for advice - they do training for schools on safeguarding children and would be able to give you sensible advice on what you should do next and whether what the school appears to have done in relation to the complaint is sufficient. Frankly, doing these things first will ensure you are taken more seriously and aren't just being histrionic and scatter-gunning complaints left, right and centre to inappropriate people, thus ending up with your complaint sitting on entirely the wrong person's desk...

Also - do act quickly. It doesn't take long to download a school policy, so you should be in a position to phone the correct person asap.

Don't have face to face meetings. Follow up the events so far factually in an email. Confirm in that email that you have discussed your not happy with outcome and want to take it further - but as HT has made it clear ousted won't be interested can he tell you who you escalate it too.

I had a similar incident re safeguarding. Child threatened to rape my DS. This boy was 10. Ht tried to accuse me of pressurising DS when he told me because DS said he got very upset when I asked him loads of questions.

The thing that makes the biggest impact if you truly believe the school are not safeguarding your child is to keep them at home and state because of safeguarding concerns. This needs to be recorded so email the absense in.

This is terrible.
Agree that is is a safeguarding issue,
Yes this child is under the age of criminal responsibility but that does not mean the police won't be interested.
Usually children that age perform sexual acts or behave in a sexualised manner if they have been abused or exposed to porn and sexual behaviour from adults.
Also you could try contacting your local social services children's team.
This HT couldn't have dealt with it more wrongly if he tried.
Please do something as this child needs help and your daughter needs support and to be believed.

This is extremely serious because even as supply teachers our council sent us all on special courses that emphasised the importance of LISTENING and believing children in these circumstances. That's why I said the teacher should already have reported this boy. She may have of course but from what you say she doesn't sound as if she's behaving correctly. The HT is even more reprehensible he could be sacked and struck off for this.

If this child has behaved in a sexual way before I am amazed the school is not already aware of it. In many schools he would be suspended and an immediate visit from an Educational Psychologist and Social Services should be arranged. The Head should have contacted the safeguarding team and that will be clearly explained in their safeguarding policy. You can urgently speak to social services or the LA. It is rather likely this child is copying behaviour he is seeing at home or on videos. However,when I was working, this type of case was referred to us at the LEA and for a young child, we would immediate start therapy through play. It is now unfortunate that everyone wants to go to the police and the Head seems blissfully unaware of his/her responsibilities. The use of an Educational Psychologist is vital in my view or a behaviour therapist because this boy needs help!!! It is very upsetting when this happens in school with younger children, but the Police are not appropriate and the school should access professional support immediately.

This is clearly a safeguarding issue. The behaviour of this boy strongly suggests that he is being abused himself, either by being inappropriately exposed to sexual activity or more directly.

Rule one when dealing with allegations of abuse is that you must assume the victim (your daughter in this case) is telling the truth until proven otherwise. The school's handling of this incident falls well short of the required standard. I agree with Mrz that you should report the incident to your LA's safeguarding team.