Teachers and Parents, please help! Please,really don't know what to do!

[TheRoundTable]

Hello!

I have got a child in Year2 and even when in Year 1,her teacher complained about her 'up and down' learning. She'd understand a concept one day and be totally lost on the same, the next day,particularly in Maths. I've tried everything or at least I think so-backing off, simple games online cbeebies/cbbc,bite-sized chunks regularly,strict approach-but we come back to this point of frustration!
Some days, she solves quite tricky problems-knows her doubles which she uses to solve near doubles,finds differences between numbers,addition and subtraction in her head,so can do 67+24 or 67-24,and word problems,e.t.c.
One day,she's telling me we need 7 4x if 4 apples cost 7p each and would say two 7s are 14 and two 14s are 28 so 28p.

Some days? She's totally lost! I have tried going back to the basics over and over and over! The frustrating thing is I lose my temper sometimes and then she gets it! I can't begin to fake losing my temper before she learns? And of course her teacher can't do that,so she is not doing well at all at school. I am tired of helping her at home,because it's like we keep going round in circles,thinking we are making progress at some point and then boom! All out the window again!

I don't think she has any special needs and her teachers do not think so either...

Will be very grateful for any advice offered. Thank you!

Seeker - there have been thousands of studies.

Yes: www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0891422210000156

Sorry.

Yes, that's one of the thousands of studies that have been done.

It used all children rather than just children with difficulties.

And it used DHA and EPA.

So it does not answer the question of whether it's likely that a child with spiky abilities would benefit from EPA.

The only way the OP will know if EPA will help her DD is to try it.

No double blind, peer reviewed, scientific study can answer that question.

The reason there have been thousands of studies is because the question hasn't been answered yet.

That one won't even let me read the abstract!

Is it possible the child has poor working memory? I've seen mention about that kind of thing, and not as part of a SN, but more like something that can be improved with the right teaching & memory exercises. See more here.

The OP on here asked for advice - from people who have some knowledge and experience in this. I have attempted to give objective advice, based on my professional knowledge, experience and qualifications. I have stated that I respect advice given by others.

However, it seems that my advice (and that of some other contributors) has been hijacked by some members who seem to have an axe to grind with education professionals due to their own personal experiences.

I will not be making any more contributions to this thread. I appreciate that this forum is here for people to share experiences; however, I feel that the subjective nature of some of these contributions invalidate their usefulness.

OP - I really do hope you are able to move forward with this. Whilst there are many people around who are able to give you very useful advice, remember that professionals are there for a reason, that we have studied and worked long and hard to get where we are and that we generally do know what we are talking about. Furthermore, professionals can give you that thread of objectivity which actually may be more beneficial to your child's very specific and personal needs. Wishing you and yours all the best.

I thought a spiky profile referred to strengths and weaknesses outside of the average in the bell curve.

E.g. Vocabulary above average for same age peers but poor visual perception compared to age peers.

I didn't think it meant being capable of something one day and unable to do it the next.

"Caring parents are better than any experts when it comes to their children. Once they are tuned in they surpass any professional"

Not necessarily.

HMT - spiky profile does mean that. I was the one who first used spiky - but i meant spiky ability rather than spiky profile.

Carrie - i hope you come back to discuss these issues on other threads. Over really big questions like this (whether or not parents should trust teachers, at what age kids should go on the SEN register, what constitutes SEN) it takes months of discussion to have the whole conversation.

I don't agree with you at all at the moment - but in the past my opinion has certainly changed over time.

At the moment you sound exactly like all the caring professionals who have let me and my 3 kids down - at 2 schools. And you sound nothing like the very few professionals who have been helpful over that time.

But I really hope you stay. These are useful conversations to have.

(you say teachers have studied 'long and hard' - but that study doesn't cover SEN. I thought ITTs generally spent half a day covering SEN)

IndigoBell, I am a littlempuzzled when you say thwtnyou"don't agree with carrie at all"

It seemed to me that the only thing you disagree in is whether year 2 is a bit early to be diagnosing additional needs. She has said loads of other practical and helpful things thŵtnit would be a shame if the OP missed- things like using a wipeable whiteboard, for one example.

TheRoundTable also said that she had been unwell for a long time- her dd is bound to be unsettled and worried by this- it is entirely possible that her school performance has been badly affected. Surely in the circumstances a period of watchful waiting and consolidation is a good idea? For both of them?

Seeker - are you trying to pick a fight with me?

I'm trying very hard to be polite to both you and Carrie.

Why poke me to make me say something less restrained?

SEN provision in this country is awful. Children who fall behind are never expected to catch up. They are only expected to make (an undefined amount of) progress.

And the awful SEN provision starts in the infants with teachers and parents saying 'oh, bless. She's only young. Let's wait and see'

And it doesn't get any better from then on.

Seeker - you've criticised me on this thread and other threads.
Please stop.

No, I'm not trying to pick a fight with you. I am pointing out that Carrie had lots of useful advice and you dismissed all of it because you don't like some of it.

When you say I have "criticised you" what you mean is that I have questioned you and asked you to support your theories. And I remember once saying that I didn't think you ought to say that you knew how to cure dyslexia. And I stand by that. I don't think you should.

I never said I know how to cure Dyslexia.

I said dyslexia can be cured. (but not by me!)

And the reason I know that is because of my experiences with curing my children.

I don't like Carries advice. That is why I said I don't like it.

Basically you know nothing about dyslexia or omega yet you feel free to dish out doom and gloom.

. I don't want to fight with you - but I will always fight the notion that dyslexia can't be cured, and all school should do for dyslexics is 'support' them.

And I will always fight the notion that infants is too young to be concerned about children.

"Basically you know nothing about dyslexia or omega yet you feel free to dish out doom and gloom."

Wrong on both counts. Yes I do, and no I don't.

I have been watching this thread in detail, as like the OP, my dd is too very changeable with her maths and like OP, I too have been doing work at home on this to help.

One day she seems to work fine and has no problems, next day, it all seems to go out the window - yes I got extremely cross last week (I posted about it), which wasn't my most proudest moment, I have to admit.

I am not a teaching professional, just a Mum doing her best and worrying that my dd is struggling and want to help. So I want to let the OP know you are not alone!

I too have asked my dd's teacher if there may be other issues, but like CarrieMoonBeam says, I have been told there are no other indicators at present to suggest anything and they would not be worrying about this until Year 3.

I was also told that it is perfectly normal for children in Year 2 to start to show fluctuations in their learning, as they find the work more challenging. My dd's teacher said that some children just need that little bit more time to mature than others when it comes to learning and concentrating, but in her experience a little extra support gives them the confidence that they need and then they are usually fine, I know dd is getting some extra individual help with maths at school.

Obviously, you may know of other issues with your child and to be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if my dd had dyscalcula or something, but I think it is being faced with 'sums' that makes my dd panic, could this be the same for yours?

Yesterday we were chatting about making money and she told Daddy she would sell him her bag of toffees for £10, I said but you only bought them for £2, so that was a big profit and she replied quick as a flash without even thinking, 'yes £8!' If I had put that sum written 10 - 8 = to my dd yesterday (bad day), she would have had to think about it and maybe count back, even though she knows her number bonds.

I am now trying to do more practical things than sums, just to boost her confidence, although have subscribed to Mathsfactor, which has placed her at subtracting 1 and 2 to start with (I thought this too basic but is great for her confidence) - she loves it, but that is another thread!!

I am in the 'don't worry just yet' camp, but keep talking to the teacher, so they know you are receptive to any extra help and supportive at home.

'At the moment you sound exactly like all the caring professionals who have let me and my 3 kids down - at 2 schools. And you sound nothing like the very few professionals who have been helpful over that time.'

I have reported this comment as I view it as a personal attack. This person knows nothing about me, my qualifications, my experience and the extensive number of children I have helped with special needs.

Posting something like this does not help the OP who asked for advice; quite the opposite in fact, as it could persuade a person who may be at a very vulnerable point in their lives to disregard valid advice, simply because of differences of opinion.

Comments like the one I have reported are no better than gate gossip - malicious, unfounded and potentially very harmful.

Ok. I know this is an odd question but does she like her teacher? I remember when I was going to school feeling put down by a teacher made my mind freeze. She might also refuse, for one reason or an other to show what she knows. Do you see a change between her performance last year and her performance this year? That could be an indication that she somehow feels more pressurised by her school environment. Has she got friends at school? Is it possible that she is bullied and you don't know about it? Math is got a lot to do with rationality and when we go through situations that hurt us or situations that we don't understand our ability to use it deteriorates. Maybe if you try to speak to her about her time at school it could help you to find out what is happening. It might also be a reaction to your emotional state. It would maybe be helpful if you could tell her how you feel in very simple terms and reassure her that you love her and that you are there for her.
Best of luck

Seeker I am a professional (apparently that makes me more qualified to have an opinion that being the parent of a child with SEN ) and I agree with very little Carrie has said beyond it being best if parents and teachers work together for the child and that includes the wipeable whiteboard suggestion.

Being a professional doesn't not make you more qualified to have an opinion than being the parent of a SEN child- but the parent of an SEN child is not automatically more qualified to have an opinion than a professional. Which some on here seem to be suggesting.

IndigoBell has a particular agenda on this subject- and I think it is disingenuous of her not to be up front about it. Anybody who says that conditions such as ADHD and dyslexia are curable needs to have very, very strong evidence to support the statement.

I'm not sure what leads you to believe Indigo has an agenda beyond helping others.

Are you happy with people saying ADHD and dyslexia are curable?

I am happy for someone to relate the immense improvements they have observed in their child.

So am I. I am not happy with people swing that these conditions can be completely cured, but for this to happen, people should disregard the advice of professionals in the field and follow regimes which have not, as far as I am aware, been properly assessed. Which IndigoBell does. She is an advocate of a clinic run by a man whose only qualification is in Chiropractic. Which sells omega. Nothing wrong with that, obviously. But it would be better to mention it? And to be a little less categoric about the possibility of a cure.

seeker, could you give me your definition of 'cure' please?

I have not seen Indigo (here or elsewhere) ever claim she can cure all dyslexia or ADHD, or indeed anythign else. she has said that she has, through various interventions, managed (along with help from different people and regimes) to cure her children of a number of things.

"Add message | Report | Message poster IndigoBell Tue 10-Apr-12 10:26:55
I never said I know how to cure Dyslexia.

I said dyslexia can be cured. (but not by me!)"