Ds sits next to kid who stinks of pee ; should I mention to the teacher?

[DrNortherner]

Ds is in Year 5. In Maths and Science he sits next to this boy who clearly has toilet issues. Every day ds complains he smells of stale wee and it puts him off.

Parents eve is soon and dh says we should complain. I reckon the teacher will already know this kid stinks of wee so is it worth mentioning?

FWIW, most days I see this boy he comes out of school with a wet patch on his trousers

Dh is of the 'Hey, this boy stinks and it's not fair my ds has to sit next to him every day' stance where as I am a little more diplomatic...

Any advice on how to tackle?

Yes, I have heard it myself and have given a short talk in his Year 2 class this week about DS's medical problems. Luckily he does have friends but this sort of thing follows you doesn't it?

While it is the children being children, it doesn't take much to imagine where it comes from.

slavetofilofax I'm asking anyone who has an solution to the problem to please let me know what it is because I would be very grateful.
It isn't nice for the child, it isn't nice for the rest of the class and it isn't nice for the staff (and no I don't get paid for putting up with unpleasant smells it isn't in the job description) but I'm at a loss what you think can be done.

My DD used to suffer from faecal impaction and had issues with soiling and wetting herself until the end of Y2 at school.They did always make sure she was properly cleaned up though.
However I think people are being a little unfair on here.No one can really be expected to sit next to someone who stinks let alone concentrate on a lesson.It is truly stomach turning, disgusting and sick-making.That is not unkind, it is just the plain truth!

Again, what do you suggest, spiderpig8?

Actually, I dread to think, given some of your answers in recent months.

With respect it is all well and good saying no one should be expected to sit next to someone who stinks but no one has come up with a solution of what to do if a child has an odour problem

The child in my class last year smelt so bad you didn't even have to be in the room the whole corridor stunk.

Mrz, if talking to family support, social services and the parents achieves nothing, then I wouldn't know what to suggest. I don't know the cause of the problem.

In the OP's case, she doesn't know if anything has been done, she doesn't know if even the parents have been spoken to, so imo, she should definately say something.

Did either of the agencies you spoke to have any suggestions, did it help at all? Why didn't any of the help work, and what was the parents attitude?

Can children be moved around the classroom regularly so that one child isn't made to bear the full brunt of it?

Read some of the posters' reasons on this thread, slavetofilofax, there are plenty of examples.

The OP says it only affects her son in two lessons, so that clearly happens already.

Yes, and they would presumably all require different strategies to deal with them

This may be totally impractical but could the school request a shower/bathing facility be built within the school? I don't know if every school has a disabled toilet but if so, there could be room in there to shower the child, help him/her dress and then resume lessons as soon as possible. There would need to be an individual who has the parents' consent to carry out this procedure but it could make life more pleasant for the child soiling him/her self.

Two very important lessons, and it's not happening if the same child always has to sit next to the child with the problem within those lessons.

Let's see slave.
The op said the problem for her child is in science and maths.
So that leaves literacy, guided reading, PE, geography, history, IT, RE, art, DT, music and PSHCE when they are not sitting together. Perhaps the positions of the pupils change according to subject already.

The cause of the problem is the child has never been toilet trained and at home is allowed to squat wherever they are

Wow. Did it ever get resolved?

Howndoes your ds know what stale wee smells like?

Riverside, that won't help OP's ds in Maths and Science though will it.

If this were something that my child was going to be forced to deal with, I would rather the impact was spread out over several subjects, so that he could at least have a chance in some maths and science lessons.

Science lessons are more often than not practical with a lot of moving around.

So the solution is that there is no answer.
Unless the OP harnesses the power of the playground geese and drives the child from the school.

As an aside, I find the smell of pee less revolting than the stench of a child from a smoking family. Everything they have reeks, from their hair to their bookbags. And all the books inside it.

seeker you asking me how my ds knows what stale wee smells like? Well actually I have no idea. I have certainly never given him a 'this is what stale wee smells like' lesson but am pretty sure that by age 9 most kids know what wee smells like.....

I can see this is a pretty contentious subject, and thanks for all the replies. I need no telling to encourage ds to be kind to this boy, to not call him names and to be understanding. That is not why I posted.

I posted because ds has mentioned this to me on many ocassions, and today ds told me it made him feel sick. I was just weighing up in my head if I should mention it to his teacher or not, and in reality, if there was anything that can be done.

FWIW ds is in the same group as this boy for Maths and Science as these are the 2 areas my ds needs support in, they are not in the same group for any other subject.

I think it you go to school you have to accept all sorts and lots of things may affect your learning. I was a real goody goody at school and all through primary was put next to the most disrruptive boys in the class. My parents never thought to complain, we just accepted it. There can be all sorts of distractions in class. Need to home educate to prevent this.

Unfortunately am sure most schools will not be showering children. There are very few schools who will even change them. I know I had to go in everytime my son was unable to clean himself up.

Ok if it is actually making him feel sick, could he put a dab of vicks or olbas oil on his sleeve to mask the smell? He could hold it up near his face, as long as he didn't go round announcing why (obviously!) it might help him? Obviously not a long term solution but might help him?

Maybe there isn't, but for everyones sake, you would want to try everything and explore every avenue before declaring that there is no solution and giving up.

It appears from this thread that there are various reasons why a child would smell like wee, so I would have though that there would eventually be a solution in at least some of the cases.

It can't just be ignored and the rest of the class shouldn't have to have their education suffer because they have to put up with so much unpleasantness.

I really do feel for the child who becomes known as the 'smelly one', but what happens when his/her needs are in direct conflict with someone elses?

As I said earlier, my ds, and I'm sure others with sensory issues, simply wouldn't be able to cope with this. When he was younger, it would greatly affect his happiness, behaviour and his work. He's an intelligent child, but genuinely couldn't work to the best of his ability at the same time as putting up with such strong and unpleasant sensory stimulation. I can't even cook mince if he's doing homework at the kitchen table. So between the child with continence problems and the one with sensory problems, whose needs come first? Clearly they cannot both be taught in the same classroom without one of them having their education being severely compromised, and a solution would have to be found.

I suspect in that situation, the child whose condition didn't affect anyone else would end up having to move schools, even though with ASD it would be even more detrimental. And the child whose condition had a huge impact on others would get to stay put.