Concerned about son's year 2 teacher and grouping

[TheBFactor]

Hello everyone
I am new here.
I have a wonderful, witty, energetic, extremely bright boy who is a summer baby, hence one of the youngest in a class of 30. We have been told since Reception that he is "immature" and behind the rest since the day he started Reception. The class teacher was very positive at the beginning of this year and seemed to really "get" my son finally, but more recently they seem to have turned negative again. He does not have Special Needs, but has been persistently grouped (I think for both Literacy and Maths) with a SEN boy and 2 overseas children whose English ability is weak. I am told my son is doing very well in Literacy (although they say he does not appear to focus on his writing - according to the teacher it is becacuse he can't be bothered !).

The class teacher says his attitude makes him extremely "disadvantged" and predicted taht he will be "disadvantage" next year also. She then proceeded to name various children in the class and make direct comparisons with other children, telling me very personal and private issues about other children and their abilities.

I am an educator (higher education level) myself - it is against the confidentiality rules for a teacher to talk about other students in such detail and make direct comparisons. My son ought to be compared to an ideal "age group" not to others in the class. I have been keeping an eye on him this year as I do not wish to destroy his confidence. He is naturally an extrovert, confident little boy, but he has said on numerous occassions that he feels he is bottom of the class and that the other children think so too - a few have called him babyish and I wonder how much of that come's from the teacher's attitude towards him.

Luckily, because of his graet personality, he has close friendships with several other boys and seems to be happy at school, but I am really concerned as the school are very good at having one way dialogues with me, i.e. they talk, but never listen to anything I have to say about him. They seem to think they know more about him than I do and that their reasons for placing him in whatever group is absolutely right. The negative labelling of boys is quiet common at schools I'm afraid. The quiet, shy girls seem to get away with things and the boys don't. I'm trying to get my son out of the labelling scenario.

A boy and a girl have so far been pulled out of the same class. When I spoke to their parents they had similar concerns, the other boy was also one of the youngest. The girl's mother (the girl had a learning disability) said to me in private that her daughter's emotional well-being wasn't being addressed in this class. This rings alarm bells for me.

It's meant to be an Ofsted Grade 1 school, yet I hear things from others that are similar to my views, that they are more concerned about ticking Ofsted boxes than they are about the needs of individual children.

So what now? Do I pull him out and take him to another school which is less Ofsted glorified, or do I write to the Head (usually it's chats that are not written down so I want it written down) and ask for a written reply? Should I ask them to switch my son around as I see no justification why such a bright little boy (even they have admitted he is intelligent) is in the weakest group where he is not being stretched ?

The taecher says my son is NOT naughty - he has also never been accused of being aggressive, hitting or swearing (thank goodness as it woudl be untrue any way). For some strange reason (perhaps because the teachers have decided they doesn't like me for asking questions?) I think my son is very much on the teacher's radar so gets noticed more often for whatever he does (he has been sent outside the classroom on quite a few occassions on the most absurd reasons like switching off the light by mistake or carrying on with something when the teacher had asked him to stop and she had not waited for him to explain that he had not heard her!)
I noticed on a recent class trip that my son was told off more often than other boys, even though others were behaving quite badly by most parents/teachers standards my son was extremely well behaved. I see a lot of unfair treatment going on. He is on the teacher's radar while others seem to be below it and get away with things he can't. Please help.

Not sure why you have given mrz the name of a supervirus....

In your other post you didn't mention being settled within 6 months you said they would have a good idea of his abilities after 6 months which would be as much of a concern to me as a head claiming he could get to know a child in a week. As you have now clarified the situation I understand what the head meant.

just quite disturbing how vitriolic and personal, teachers on these threads are, to any criticism, however justified, by a parent, of a school or teacher. Mrz "of course a head should back the teacher in public" - err, not if they are wrong!!!

"The other parents have been pushy and made a point of not having their child sit with SEN and EFL children and so far I HAVE SAID NOTHING."

They sound a charming bunch

I'd take my child out to get away from parents like that...except that you rather sound as if you would have liked to have done the same.

And no, I am not a primary school teacher. Though I do happen to be the mother of a child with SN.

ohmydear (sorry I don't know what your occupation is) how would you feel if I contacted your boss and made a complaint and without checking he/she told me that of course your were at fault and are very bad at your job? I would hope he/she would back you until he/she had investigate the complaint ...

I kind of like it Feenie I may change it permanently

Investigating a complaint is not quite the same as backing up a member of staff. I thought you were suggesting that a Head should always publicly come down on the side of their staff whether they were right or wrong.

TheBfactor - if you've found all three of your son's teachers so far to be awful then you are likely to be unimpressed further up - you could of course change schools, but you may find that there as well the teachers expect your child to listen, not switch off the lights and conform to societal norms. Probably home education is the way forward for you.

oh lord...sorry! Its the nickname of someone from my post natal thread....I apologise mrz

OK to clarify a head should always back their staff publicly until they are in possession of facts to the contrary at which point they should take appropriate action

I like it
I've just looked to see how to change ...

I disagree mrz

Surely the HT should not back anyone (parent or teacher) til all the facts are in????????

My friend already has it so you wont be able to, I dont think. Sorry!!!

How about salmonella if its viruses you're after????????

mrz, my primary occupation is being a parent. For clarity - you inferred that the "boss" should back the teacher in public, regardless of what had happens in private! "you were not privy to what happened behind the scenes, and this is how it should be". To answer your question - if my boss had a complaint, firstly he would listen to the complaint and answer along the lines of "if, and only if, that happened, I agree that would be really bad practice", therefore not completely backing the employee until further investigation, and then follow it with that investigation. What was uncovered would be made public to the parent as the process was carried out and the outcome would be either the teacher behaved correctly or not. It should not be a matter of it all happens behing closed doors and the failing or not, should not be made public,or any expression of possibility of wrong, at any cost! Excuse me if I have misunderstood, but that is how your view came across.

sorry missed your post RMCW, agree!!

There are clear rules regarding how complaints against teachers are dealt with ohmydear and in many cases even the teacher isn't aware of what is happening.

well, as you are no doubt pointing out, I would not know because I am not a teacher, however that does not make this process right? and any system that does not involve the teacher in the complaint investigation seems a bit flawed to me, and as the parent is a partner in the school relationship surely this process should be transparent to everyone? but as you might say, who am I to know!

Sorry but teachers and Heads are NOT infallable, they are not Gods and they DO get it wrong - in style. My sons school failed hime dramatically, he has been diagnosed as being in trauma from school by GOSH we had grounds for Human Rights - Access to Education and Disability Discrimination Act tribunal. If your gut feeling is that something is wrong, it usually is. We Home Ed, not because we are anti school, but because my son was so behind, was left to manage alone - with a SSEN [physical] and belittled in front of his OT by the HT and the class teacher. Its not about what you see - it's about what you as a parent do not see when the classroon door is shut.
Many teachers are brilliant, and do a wonderful job, I celebrate these people - I have an older child who loves school. Some however are not. Home Ed or change schools.

no one is suggesting they are mycarscallednev. My son's school/teacher failed him dramatically and I took appropriate action, but if I felt, as the OP has made clear she does, about the school I would be moving my child ASAP

I am also an educator and would never use OFSTED as my main indicator of a school. I would rate my impressions on a tour, how my DC felt and word of mouth over OFSTED anyday!!

If you feel like this, move schools asap. I would also consider showing your son's teachers the professional repsect that they deserve and consider that there may be issues that cross over into the new school that will need addresing.

FYI i am good/outstanding

RMCW - you are saying some really sad things. It makes me cry when I think what is happening to some children behind closed doors.

Yes, those of us who don't force our 4 - 6 year old into getting to the top of the SATs farce are being pushed out. I let my ds learn at his own pace. He picked up reading within weeks of hitting age 6. I never had to force him, he was just ready at that age and wasn't ready at 4 or 5. So while his classmates had a head start at 4 or 5 because their parents were teaching them at home, my ds used less time, energy and effort to get to the same reading level in a shorter space of time.

It's commonsense really not to push until they are DEVELOPMENTALLY ready. Having said that, having "sense" isn't really that common these days !!

If you believe the research (which I do) 6 - 7 is the age they should be starting school and that is the average age most children around the world go to school. I have said to his teachers that the same thing will happen with his other key skills - he will achieve them when he is READY but they are too caught up with their Y2 results to give a damn.

Everything you say about other coutries is true. I watched a doc. about Finland the other day, it made me weep. They don't go to school until age 7, have the shortest school day anywhere in the developed world, ALL the children, no matter what ability, sit together (the clever ones are actively encouraged to help the less clever ones), with teachers who seem to LOVE their jobs (no Big Brother Ofsted to watch over them) - and guess what? They have some of the best Literacy and Maths results in the industrialised world with 100 delegations from different coutries going over every year to find out why they are doing so well.

Here we get 6 year olds to tell each other off about each others spelling. My son's classmates (even his best friend) say silly things like "you don't practice your spelling at home, do you?". One called my son "dyslexic" because 6 months ago ds couldn't read as fast as him (this particular boy is 9 months older than ds and has extremely pushy parents). So here in the UK we get small children to be competitive little monsters, making fun of other's abilities, instead of getting them to help each other. So who gives a damn about hurting children's feelings when we are all on the Ofsted bandwagon?

I teach my son good social skills. He isn't perfect, he needs to learn a lot of things, but he is very popular with some of the boys in the class and very kind to them. As far as I'm concerned he has the best skill of all for a 6 year old, kindness ; )

"Yes, those of us who don't force our 4 - 6 year old into getting to the top of the SATs farce are being pushed out. I let my ds learn at his own pace. He picked up reading within weeks of hitting age 6. I never had to force him, he was just ready at that age and wasn't ready at 4 or 5. So while his classmates had a head start at 4 or 5 because their parents were teaching them at home, my ds used less time, energy and effort to get to the same reading level in a shorter space of time."

I have watched this thread with interest and have thus far made no comment. I can see that you are unhappy with the teaching at your sons school and i too would encourage you to look for a school elsewhere, however i resent it when people assume that because my dd could read at age 4 that i am a pushy parent and that i teach her at home. My dd has had NO teaching at home. She reads a bedtime story with me every night which has gradually changed from me reading to her to her reading to me. Otherwise she does nothing! Anything she has learnt has been in nursery or school - simply because she was ready to learn.
Not all parents of early readers are pushy parents so please don't tar us all with the same brush.

"Here we get 6 year olds to tell each other off about each others spelling. My son's classmates (even his best friend) say silly things like "you don't practice your spelling at home, do you?". One called my son "dyslexic" because 6 months ago ds couldn't read as fast as him (this particular boy is 9 months older than ds and has extremely pushy parents). So here in the UK we get small children to be competitive little monsters, making fun of other's abilities, instead of getting them to help each other. So who gives a damn about hurting children's feelings when we are all on the Ofsted bandwagon?"

I don't recognise this at all, and if it happens at your ds's school then move him.

I don't recognise it either
as for children making fun of other's abilities today one of my struggling children "aced" her 10X tables and all the class applauded and were pleased for her because they knew she had worked really hard to learn them.