9 year old daughter bathing with dad?

[August21yellowbaby]

I'm not saying I think this is "wrong" but sometimes I do feel like maybe there is an age where this should stop? My husband has a 9 year old daughter from a previous marriage and they still bath together, she has developed without going into too much detail. I do feel slightly uncomfortable with it because I don't see it ending anytime soon and I worry she will be 14 still bathing with him. When I started to go through physical changes I wouldn't even be naked infront of my mum, I worry she's abit too open and I worry maybe she doesn't see the importance of privacy? Her mother has a new boyfriend and I worry she is this open around him too

This is highly inappropriate I am confident this would raise safe guarding concerns at school. (I am experienced primary school teacher and would flag this immediately if she was in my class). It leads me to worry about your husbands boundaries. Does he see his daughter as much younger than she is? It’s really important he begins to become aware of what is and isn’t appropriate as she becomes older. Perhaps he could find some neutral information online if he doesn’t want to hear it from you.

Very, very odd. I have 4 girls and none of them have ever bathed with me or DH past the age of around 4ish and even then both of us wear pants! We shower anyway but when we helped them, we still wore undergarments. Also it's just unnecessary past a certain age. You can help them from outside.
edit - Also it is obviously fine to be naked when you're little, we just generally didn't prefer to be when they weren't babies anymore. Specifically DH around the girls, I'm a little more relaxed

I have a 9 and 6 year old girl now and it would be so, so odd for either of us to do that right now. The father must know this.

Ew. No

I remember that very long time ago not that we had to do it.
Those who did entered the same water one after the other never together. Maybe a couple of small children might have been put in the tub together if same sex.
I never ever heard of an adult in a bath tub with a child.
It would have been unthinkable.
I see no need for it now either.
OP cert sounds odd and I don't think you should allow it in your house.

It’s all very well saying if it's child-led and she's ok with it then it's fine. But if children, as they get older, don't naturally start to introduce boundaries around privacy, then I think it's the parent's responsibility to guide them. I mean, my toddler will grab or touch my boobs and I know to them, it's just a body part the same as my arm, so I don't make a fuss. But if they were still doing that at 8/9 years old, if be telling them that’s not appropriate.

Couldn’t even imagine my son having a bath with his 4 year old daughter. That’s so gross.

Society has gone totally wrong somewhere.

In our culture - red flag. But somewhere in Germany would be whole family bathing naked.

I don't want to project anything onto this particular situation and I am sure there is nothing untoward going on but its also time for her to start having baths on her own.

Not normal. Very very very weird.

This creepy thread is from October.

around puberty/ y5/y6 children seek privacy without prompts before then why wouldnt you?

I don't this is responsible behaviour.

What is his daughter learning about respect for her own privacy? She's not learning anything.

This is the age where she should be learning those things. To close the door and change clothes, not to walk around naked and generally to expect respect for her privacy from others.

You should step in and intervene. You are a step mum right? You have a role to play!

Are either of them uncomfortable with it? If not then I don't see why you should be tbh 🤷

My DD showered and bathed with her brother until she was 11ish (and he was 9), by which time she was wearing a proper bra and had pubic hair. Neither of them were uncomfortable with it so I didn't want to make an issue of it either. DD had no issues being naked around her dad then either. Then after she started high school she started wanting privacy, so we gave it to her. I was very much led by them.

That's so wrong it's shocking and should not be happening!!!!!