9 year old daughter bathing with dad?

[August21yellowbaby]

I'm not saying I think this is "wrong" but sometimes I do feel like maybe there is an age where this should stop? My husband has a 9 year old daughter from a previous marriage and they still bath together, she has developed without going into too much detail. I do feel slightly uncomfortable with it because I don't see it ending anytime soon and I worry she will be 14 still bathing with him. When I started to go through physical changes I wouldn't even be naked infront of my mum, I worry she's abit too open and I worry maybe she doesn't see the importance of privacy? Her mother has a new boyfriend and I worry she is this open around him too

That’s just not right .

My similar age DS still has showers with me, personally I'd rather have some peace and quite. I think it's ok if it's child driven. I don't offer my boys ask. My DD didn't really get interested in privacy around immediate family until she was nearly 11, but there's no way she'd ever be naked in front of an adult who wasn't her parent. I take my cue's from my DC. You could speak to him about it in the context of her needing to understand its important to maintain privacy and boundaries around other adults even if they're in her home or her parents OH. Is she comfortable being naked around you? If she isn't than the it's likely not an issue in relation to mums boyfriend at least.

Who wants to continue this - DD or her DF? Maybe he's not facing up to the fact she's maturing and needs some privacy and personal space.

No. It should have stopped at 6/7.

9 is far too old.

Mid this was reported it would be a child protection investigation.

That's downright weird and not appropriate at all at that age. Have you spoken to him about it?

I think that's too old personally. I wouldn't bathe with my 8yo.
Even if it's completely innocent and they're both happy with it, like you said, it's important at that age that she learn boundaries.
Have you spoken to him about it?

No that's not ok at all!
I have a 9 year old too (10 in January) and she doesn't even want me in the room when she has a bath now, she locks the door.
I was helping her do her hair until a few months ago but then she said she didn't need help anymore so I respect that.
DH definitely wouldn't be in the bathroom when she's in the bath, hasn't bathed her for a year or so

I wouldn't be comfortable with it either.

It's a shame, but she is too old. He is laying himself open to accusations of sexual abuse if the wrong person hears about it.

Nope just wrong . Why is it needed ? So weird .
My dh never had a bath or shower with our kids same with me. I get maybe a very very long time ago when hot water was an issue but that's not been the case for some time.
It's just plain weird

Is it her or him that is continuing this?
I think a gentle word with him is needed, or however innocent the pair are, there is a risk that he is leaving himself open to accusations. As her father, he needs to step up and explain to her that now she is getting older that it needs to stop. He needs to safeguard both of them here.

I think that’s weird my daughter is 7 and I don’t bath with her and haven’t for years.

She’s too old for that, if she told someone at school they would report your husband. He needs to realise that she’s growing up and things aren’t appropriate any longer

Why does he do that??

Weird af. Tell him

Have you spoken to him about it? I’m wondering why he thinks it’s normal.

She'll be having periods very soon.

Is he going to bath with her then?

You need to talk to him and put a stop to this.

Sorry but its really weird, this post has made me feel so uncomfortable

@August21yellowbaby you are just as much at fault as he is!! you are allowing this to happen under your roof!! it is disgusting at her age to be bathing with her father.

Not appropriate at all.
We bathed with ours as babies but not later-personal choice I know
Who wants to share relaxing, peaceful, quiet and alone time with kids???😆

This is very weird OP. This should have stopped a long time ago. You need to speak to him

Eugh. Skin crawling.

If I heard that this was going on with someone I knew, then I'd be reporting it to social services. It's wrong!

My DD is 6 and often still wants to get in the shower with me and it's completely her choice. However at 9 years old I certainly would put a stop to this as she will be reaching an age where boundaries on privacy need to be instilled.

This sounds completely wrong and the father should be putting a stop to it and laying down some boundaries.

Imagine if she mentioned she had her baths with Daddy at school. Surely her Dad must realise he's leaving himself open to allegations of child sex abuse. If her breast are beginning to develop it's pervy.