9 year old daughter bathing with dad?

[August21yellowbaby]

I'm not saying I think this is "wrong" but sometimes I do feel like maybe there is an age where this should stop? My husband has a 9 year old daughter from a previous marriage and they still bath together, she has developed without going into too much detail. I do feel slightly uncomfortable with it because I don't see it ending anytime soon and I worry she will be 14 still bathing with him. When I started to go through physical changes I wouldn't even be naked infront of my mum, I worry she's abit too open and I worry maybe she doesn't see the importance of privacy? Her mother has a new boyfriend and I worry she is this open around him too

When you say bathe with her dad, do you mean that he actually gets into the bath with her?

That's wrong. My dad never once got into the bath with me

Does your daughter have additional needs? Why can’t she wash her own hair and bathe by herself?

Because she’s 9 and doesn’t rinse her hair properly.

do you have any idea how extremely offensive your comment is?

She's old enough to bathe herself!

This thread is ruddy weird and I'm not convinced it's been posted in good faith

You're wrong actually.

In safeguarding practices , an adult getting naked in front of a child, is abuse.

It’s a reasonable question - if she had additional needs it would make sense to be 9 years old, a couple of years from secondary school, and unable to wash one’s self.

Respectfully, that’s a you thing.

That's not exactly the same thing though is it!

You said that he washes her hair.

He doesn't get into the bath naked with her

I’m with you. This is all totally weird and inappropriate.

No . Look up child abuse. Safeguarding states that adults being naked around children , is abuse.

Do people really not know this?

He doesn’t, but equally she sees him naked when she asks him a question when he’s in the shower. I’m truly astonished at some of these comments. I gues different horses for different courses. I saw my dad naked and I really don’t think seeing a naked body is so offensive or inappropriate. Each to their own and surely child led.

I actually never heard of this situation, don't have kids and come from an (European) country, where this practice would be unheard of in my time.
😳😖

No, because it isn’t true. Parenting sharing a bath/shower/bed with a child has been a situation given as an example on lots of child protection training I’ve been on. It used to be a very standard point in training. It’s not abuse.

Unless you have some evidence of some this? You’ve just been told this or misunderstood some thing or made it up.

We stopped our three getting in the bath together before our eldest turned 9 (boy). Other 2 girls.

What you're describing is really wierd.

I work in safeguarding. Context is everything, as is intent. Child walking in on Dad in the shower naked is nowhere near the same as Dad coming into a child’s bedroom at night naked when everyone else is asleep, for example.

Lots of young people in the UK have no idea what normal naked bodies look like, despite accessing porn via social media at hideously young ages. It’s contributing to poor mental health in my opinion.

I felt really uncomfortable reading this, so so wrong my partner lets his 7 year old daughter bath in complete privacy only goes in if she's asks him. I would tell him he needs to stop the weird behaviour

It is true. I've worked with children and I've done safeguarding courses. If a child says that she has seen her dad's willy, we were definitely told that it's not okay, and that it's something that needs to be reported.

There is no need for a child to see an adult male's penis

er no.

you as mum might go in to help if she is stuck but daddy should no longer be doing it

I really hope this isn't real.

In over 25 years of doing safeguarding training I have been told that. If it was a standard then it will be easy for you to find some thing to support your claim. I’ve tried a quick look and all I can I find is hundred of articles talking about when people should stop being naked around their child (answer always is when one of them is uncomfortable).

I’m beginning to think it’s not

@Iwishicouldflyhigh

If she needs help you should help her not her dad.

You're not the only one that's done safeguarding training

You have to do it for every single job that you work in with children. It's required. I've worked in a lot of different jobs with children.

I worked in a very short temporary job in a summer camp last year with children, and even in that shirt temporary job, we did three days safeguarding training for that.

In safeguarding training we are told what to look out for as signs of abuse. And what are common signs of abuse.

I guarantee if the child in the OPs post went into school and said that daddy gets into the bath with me, he would be reported to social services

It's encouraging others to share their weird family bathing habits too.

yes @lololulu quite