How important do you think learning to swim really is?

[Falconhoof1]

My DS 9 hates being his head wet or putting his face in the water. He had a meltdown a year or so ago at swimming lessons and I stopped taking him. When I've taken him to the pool myself he just wades about in the shallow end and refuses to go deeper even with me holding him and a pool float. I've always thought it important but considering the stress he goes though, is it really? Barring any freak accidents he's not likely to be in a watery environment if he never wants to go swimming.
My personal feelings are that he's missing out on the fun of swimming. But if he doesn't see it as fun and never wants to, is that an issue?
I never had any problems like this with my DD 13. She just wanted to do it, but he's so different. What do you think?

Depends where you live

We are by the sea and kids drown

Kids are more likely to drown from land locked areas

You still have lakes and rivers etc

He does need to learn - just a basic het out of trouble

I think it's moderately important. I certainly wouldn't make him swim at this stage but I would continue to take him to pools. In particular I would look for holidays which would involve being in water every day. I would also keep my ear to the ground about 1:1 specialist swimming teachers, most likely to be via parents of children with some forms of sensory or SEN issue. I'd consider a series of lessons with someone like that in the future but it's never cheap. I would avoid any standard swimming classes like the plague.

I regard it as essential. Could you take your DS for lessons on his own with a qualified instructor?

"In 2015 321 people accidently drowned - 49%1 of these people were taking part in everyday activities such as walking or running near water" National Fire Chiefs Council UK

Do they not do it at school?

Statically non swimmers drown less often than swimmers.

*statistically

In some ways I would have thought that it's the kids that think they are strong swimmers that would get into trouble. As my DS knows he can't swim he would avoid going near water. I'm struggling to think of a reason why he really really needs to swim if he's a water avoider. It could be restrictive for is as a family I guess.

*my son wasn't keen on the lessons but got on with it at school.

I think it's important but no doubt there will be loads of people who don't think so

It’s an essential life skill imo. Dh never learned to swim properly and as a consequence is never comfortable in/on open water. It also means he has less fun on holiday as he can’t snorkle etc.

Sorry, quite a few replies when I was responding to the first! Yes they do do it at school. When my DD did it though, she said there were quite a number of non swimmers who didn't really progress. That'll be him when he does it (next year)! They only do it for 1 term so will be a miracle if he comes in at all ( bit I hope so).

We live by the coast. People, including strong swimmers, drown all the time. My lovely silly strong strong brother died in a freak storm. He was probably our next Olympic champion.
Everyone should swim, and swim well.
Your child needs to learn to swim.

School swimming is a daft waste of time imo.

I honestly don't know how important it is from a self preservation point of view as presumably a non swimmer wouldn't engage in watersports without a lifejacket and would be super careful on canal sides etc (or I would hope they would be) but I just can imagine a child not being able to swim (special needs etc aside).

Out of interest - can he ride a bike? I’d categorise it as a similar sort of life skill (with the additional benefit that swimming could save his life one day) and a rudimentary ability to swim is necessary.
Is he never going to go on a boat for example, or walk next to a lake, or go to the beach on holiday with his mates in ten years time?

I agree with all saying it's a life skill etc. Like I said it was so easy with my DD- took her to lessons, she learned, all great. I guess I'm just struggling with this resistance and looking for reasons I can just not bother! I hate seeing him so distressed, but I suppose a bit of tough love is needed.

No he can't ride a bike either.

Its very important op, not negotiable in my book.

Private lessons and a good incentive once he can swim a length?

You're DS has no idea what he'll be doing as an adult. What if he takes up running and a good running spot is along a tow path. All it takes is a slip and knowing how to swim is the difference between his life and death.
He doesn't have to like it or do if for fun, he doesn't have to be technically good. He has to be water safe.
That means knowing how to float, how to tread water, and how to doggy paddle across a pool (ie swim to shore if he fell in).
Bribery or SEN swimming tutors, which ever works for you.

If I take him to lessons again I will definitely go one to one. I've said to him I will take him swimming over the Easter holidays and he would have to try putting his face in the water. He cried.

My DDs are 6 and 4. They have private lessons (2:1) with a qualified teacher in a privately owned pool. I think it could be the way forward for your DS.

It is £27 for half an hour. 1:1 would be £23 for half an hour (just as a guide if you think it is importabt enough to pursue)

It's important to me from an enjoyment point of view. We live in the land locked Midlands but I want them to be able to surf or rock pool etc on holiday.

Have you bought him goggles? If just the thought of putting his face in makes him cry then you are going to have to start slow. Try asking him to put his chin in, then his left ear, then his right ear, then his forehead, then can he look up and get his hair wet. Once he is comfortable with all these ask him to use his hands to pour water over his head, his face etc. The move on to blowing bubbles in the water etc. It will be slow progress but until he can do these things I wouldn't even bother with one to one lessons otherwise you will be paying a fortune for someone else to do these things with him.

Have a look around at the swimming lessons, they frequently go into the water with the children and one to one would be a good start but they make friends and soon enjoy going. The teaching methods used are very different at different pool, The third one we went to was definitely the best, and we’ve stayed there. I once saw one of the instructors getting really annoyed a child was splashing when swimming, it was inadvertently going onto the instructor in the pool and I wasn’t too impressed but you may get a feel for what will work with your child.

I think it's important. I do understand. My 6yo DD started at age 4 (nearly 5) and hated having water in her eyes and used to have a complete meltdown. Even now at bath time we have to grab a towel if it goes in her eyes. However she started swimming lessons and soon enough she was alright at putting her face under the water. Initially it was hard but she wore goggles and built up to it gradually. I don't think forcing children if they have a real phobia is a good idea because it will likely make things worse, but I do think that regular attempts need to be made.

Last summer we went on holiday and during a trip to the swimming pool DD had an accident. She was going to go down the flume with DH but the water swept her away and then he was unable to follow her or he would have hit into her. When she came out at the other end the lifeguard didn't react fast enough and thankfully she was able to tread water for long enough until I happened to arrive (total coincidence) and asked the lifeguard to go in. I am so grateful she'd had lessons.