How important do you think learning to swim really is?

[Falconhoof1]

My DS 9 hates being his head wet or putting his face in the water. He had a meltdown a year or so ago at swimming lessons and I stopped taking him. When I've taken him to the pool myself he just wades about in the shallow end and refuses to go deeper even with me holding him and a pool float. I've always thought it important but considering the stress he goes though, is it really? Barring any freak accidents he's not likely to be in a watery environment if he never wants to go swimming.
My personal feelings are that he's missing out on the fun of swimming. But if he doesn't see it as fun and never wants to, is that an issue?
I never had any problems like this with my DD 13. She just wanted to do it, but he's so different. What do you think?

Can I just say, I have always taken him swimming. He was never happy with water in his face but stick some arm bands on him and he was quite happy bobbing about. Sadly he's a bit big for that now. I have an older DD who took to swimming extremely well. I've done it all before and it was so easy- just like all of you who say you have great swimming kids. I felt like I was a great mum who did things right. DS has changed all that what with his non swimming, non cycling ways! It's easy when it's easy is what I mean.

I managed with a great doggy paddle until adulthood. Good enough to not drown & so always out in the ocean or the pool. I think I'd work on a good doggy paddle if I were OP. Also an improper breaststroke. As an adult I discovered goggles & now am a strong crawler.

So yes I think swimming is important, but I'd work with what's possible with head out of water, if OP's son were mine.

... If he changed his mind later in life is it much more difficult?

I self-taught (from doggy paddle to crawl) as an adult. With Youtube videos it's even easier nowadays. Lots of leisure centres offer adult lessons (someone in my lane was getting one the other day).

Falcon our amazing swim teacher said in his experience if they can’t ride a bike they often can’t swim and the two skills often come at the same time.

School swimming is a daft waste of time imo.
Completely disagree with that. I helped out at school for several years with swimming lessons. I saw a real assortment of children and abilities. The ones who benefitted the most were the ones who had almost never had the opportunity to go swimming before. They weren't all strong swimmers by the end of their year of once a week lessons, but they could all swim. They could all get to the side. None remained scared of the water.

And I have never had need to ride a bike as an adult and that has never made me ridiculous.

On the other hand I don't drive and have no inclination to ever drive a car. I'll stick to a little scooter.

This is what I expect from my feeling of replies on mumsnet. I can drive, cycle and swim. I don’t do the later two often after my teen years. I didn’t cycle until I got a job near home and cycled to work for 3-4 years. Swimming is something I would never do myself, except taking DC to the pool on holidays. Someone has already pointed out it’s not cheap to go to the local council pools. Over £10, plus parking, and the pool is freezing cold. My idea of hell really. It is much cheaper to just go to the playground surely? So the only swimming we do is if we actually go overseas to a warm place for a holiday. Not often really.

Driving on the other hand is something I do daily. I won’t be able to live where I am and have my job if I don’t drive.

Hence I don’t share the opinion it’s essential to swim.

I can believe it’s the swimmers that drown too. I know far too many that drowned from riptides. Swimming in a pool is no training for waves and tides in the sea.

Mercison, I never suggested with younger children...

Learning to swim is essential, IMO. Those who think that it's possible to spend a lifetime avoiding ever being in the water are spectacularly naive.

The only water I get in is the bath, a paddle in the sea or a bob about in a pool on holiday. That’s not spectacularly naive - I can’t swim so I avoid situations I’d need to. I live on dry land - it’s spectacularly easy!

From the child point of view though swimming is everything that makes him feel very unsettled - it’s noisy, it’s wet, it’s scary, its google restricting view, it’s different clothes etc. All massive triggers for a child with sensory issues. My nephew has ASD (has 1:1 TA in mainstream school), my sister was a swim teacher but still struggled with him. She got permission to leave school one day a week 20mins early which was enough time to get him to the pool for half hr 1:1 whilst it was still very quiet before the after school lessons started. This quieter time has worked for them, alternatively is there a quieter hotel pool you could try? Also yes yes practice water on the face in bath etc at home.

Has he had school lessons yet though? Our school has them about 9/10. It might be important to get him used to it so he can have the basics for then?

Ironically if you can get him “under the water” you may find he loves it. Both my nephew and DD do because it’s SO much quieter and “feels nice” my DD said (who is very sensory & it took me 2yrs when she was younger to get her face in the water (her sister was straight in?!) . Good luck

Very. We went on an Easter egg hunt along a mill stream on Sunday, and I had to keep telling DS 6 to keep away from the water as the bank was so slippery from the rain on Saturday. If he could swim, I wouldn't be worried. I wasn't worried about DD 10 at all.

1:1 lessons. Best way forward.

There used to be a thing called "Waterproofing" wheee children were taught a) to float on their backs and b) to turn round and grab the edge if they fell into water. I think that's a good idea. But these years of expensive swimming lessons people sign up for are a complete rip off. It's one of those things nobody questions but they should. Why, for example, if it an essential skill that might save your child's life, do you sign up for learning 3 different strokes and do distance certificates and all the rest? What's wrong with floating and one length and that's it? No money for the swimming schools that's why not.

Vitalogy in my DC's school they don't go swimming until yr5. DD will start swimming with school this coming term.

" I had to keep telling DS 6 to keep away from the water as the bank was so slippery from the rain on Saturday. If he could swim, I wouldn't be worried"
Being able to swim in a pool wouldn't have helped him if he'd fallen fully clothed into a fast flowing muddy bottomed freezing cold rain swollen stream.

Being able to swim saved my life when I was 14 and I fell in a river. I think the fact that I knew how to swim meant I didn’t panic and even though I was fully clothed I managed to swim to the bank and climb out. I’m not a particularly keen swimmer, it’s not something I do pleasure or sport apart from the odd dip on holiday, but I think it’s a good skill to have. Agree with Bertrand - no need to know every stroke, but basic knowledge and ability to float is invaluable.

All true Bertrand, but I would have been much calmer about him walking close to the edge. I don't think my being nervous was helping. And any number of the hundreds of people there could have fished him out, in reality.

We live in a city with big water way in the heart of the city, I say it's vital to be able to swim. My eldest ha a big water phobia but we went weekly an persevered until they overcame it but it was tough.

"All true Bertrand, but I would have been much calmer about him walking close to the edge"

I'm sorry to pick on you-but you really shouldn't have been "calmer" if he could swim.

I'm involved in a lot of water based activities and this is a hobby horse of mine!

I think it's very important. I would talk to him, ask him what he thinks, explain that you know it's scary but you think it's something that needs addressing.
Then arrange some maybe 1-2-1 lessons, having explained the situation to the instructor, and see how it goes.