How important do you think learning to swim really is?

[Falconhoof1]

My DS 9 hates being his head wet or putting his face in the water. He had a meltdown a year or so ago at swimming lessons and I stopped taking him. When I've taken him to the pool myself he just wades about in the shallow end and refuses to go deeper even with me holding him and a pool float. I've always thought it important but considering the stress he goes though, is it really? Barring any freak accidents he's not likely to be in a watery environment if he never wants to go swimming.
My personal feelings are that he's missing out on the fun of swimming. But if he doesn't see it as fun and never wants to, is that an issue?
I never had any problems like this with my DD 13. She just wanted to do it, but he's so different. What do you think?

i think its essential. my parents never taught us to swim and it really was a downer through teen years/beyond.
dd3 had 121 lessons. 15 quid for half an hour. fantastic value for money. in 18 months she went from non swimmer to getting her 800 metres badge
she was 8 when she started.

Would a bath and a packet of chocolate buttons (other sweets are available) work? Goggles on one button. Head under - one button, blow bubbles one button etc. Build up so he keeps head under and a button for each second etc. If you do it in the bath he will get immediate rewards. Agree too that 121 teacher would help.

Can you start by teaching him to float on his back or doggy paddle if he doesn’t want to get his face wet?

Thanks for all suggestions! I'll take him swimming this week and see how it goes before I decide my next move

As a non-swimmer I really think it's an essential life skill. It's not just about myself - I can't play with kids in the pool on holidays. DH can't leave us at the pool with the kids in the water as I couldn't help if anything happened.

Also I miss out on all the holiday fun.

My youngest was exactly like that. She was in stage one swimming group for years because she refused point blank to put her head/face in the water, got upset whenever it was mentioned. I always said to her that swimming lessons were non negotiable, they had to go. One day, she just put her face in the water, then started to move up through the stages. It might have been a bit easier for me because I was taking her older siblings to swimming lessons at the same time.

Being able to swim has made her summer holidays 100x more fun. Also I think swimming is a bit like driving, once you get past a certain age it's just a bit embarrassing if you can't do it. I would persevere with the lessons if I were you.

I can swim but I don’t enjoy going under the water so I don’t. I can swim in the sea, deep end of the pool etc. I think swimming is essential and you should try and persevere but if the face in water bit is too distressing then just know you can swim to an extent without doing that bit.

Ok can I just ask adult non swimmers. What is stopping you getting lessons now? I understand it's better if you learn as a child, but in the case of my DS, he's currently not interested in learning. If he changed his mind later in life is it much more difficult?

vcrees6 I know, this obsession with face in water. Could they not teach the basics of swimming without this?

I can swim(ish), but also hate getting my face wet - I feel your sons pain. I just mostly do breaststroke and try to keep my face out of the water. . I never learned to swim "properly", but I can swim when I need to and can keep myself afloat in the sea for a fair while. I think those are very important skills to have.
Once my parents stopped trying to get me to swim "properly" and just let me do my thing, I loved the water (although still hated getting my face wet, let alone putting it under water)!
I grew up 5 mins from the sea and spent every hot day at the beach / in the sea.
I learned to scuba dive and have dived some amazing places in South America, Caribbean and SE Asia. My in laws have a boat and I've spent a week or 2 on it every year for the last 7 years. My point is I love the water and spend more time in the water than most people I know. My lack of proper swimming skills has stopped me being able to do some things though- surfing and water skiing etc were pretty awful for me!
I do wish I could swim properly - but my point is as long as he can physically swim he will be fine.

I think you could possibly get him going by trying the following:

Very soft goggles - some are more jelly like and don’t have the firm squash your face feel. Think one brand is aqua spheres

One to one lessons can build up very slowly to break down the skills involved in putting face in step by step so there is no rush or pressure. My dd did this over the last few months and has gone from being very scared to put her face in to swimming a little bit. The man who taught her was so patient - blowing face out like puffed fish, blowing in water, lying on tummy in about two inches of water, etc etc.

We committed to practising once or twice per week all the little individual steps

Massive praise and encouragement from us at home

It’s an essential life skill. He will have so much more fun on holiday, more social opportunities and it could save his life one day. Non negotiable in our family. I hated putting my face in water as a child and struggled to learn to swim but now I love it, especially in the sea. Please persevere it is absolutely worth it.

My dh has a stag do next month. It's going to involve cycling. Imagine being the bloke who has to say 'I can't ride a bike'.

When he's an adult he can avoid water fairly well - but what about when he has his own kids? Daddy can't take you swimming / to the beach etc because he can't swim.

Everyone should learn as kids. So much harder to learn as an adult.

Thanks for all replies. I have bought a pair of Aqua Sphere goggles as I'm sure I nice comfy set of goggles week help. Thanks for that suggestion.

I’m an adult who can’t ride a bike or swim.
My mother had me start learning at age of 10 & it was far too late.

I can do a drunken doggy paddle, it means I can’t go in the sea or surf with my friends when we went to the beach nor can I cycle around with them.

I don’t have much confidence in water either & yes it’s too late for me to learn both as I have tried to learn to ride a bike, I just fall off a lot & learning to swim just can’t progress.

Because of this, I have bought into that so called “con” mentioned above of swimming lessons for little ones however it’s been bloody worth it.

My 3 year old can swim 5 meters unaided & my 1 year old is progressing well.

So keep going, get him lessons, find ones you both like. He will thank you when he’s older.

I can’t swim well and it’s really not affected me as an adult. I can ride a bike but rarely do as my knees don’t like it. Never once been called ridiculous. I had lessons at school but hated the feeling of being face down in water all the time. I can manage but I’m not strong so I don’t swim in the sea and just bob around on holiday.

My son hasn’t had lessons but probably will.

If you need to swim or ride a bike as an adult ( as a cyclist I find it hard to see that riding a bike is an essential life skill,considering at how many adults actually do ride and how keen cyclists seem to be regarded in some circles ) then surely you can learn then.
And looking at the survival aspect how many people who learned to swim as children and don't swim regularly would swim well enough - clothed - in the event of an accident?
In the case of the OP I think I'd have a longer break,and come back to it when he is a bit older,in a very supportive teaching environment...

The standard of swimming achieved at primary school level is unlikely to save someone who falls into cold water or a fast current or tide. It's more likely to give someone a false confidence in his/her abilities. See the RNLI's Respect the Water campaign.

I think if able a child should learn to swim (of course balance problems, disabilities etc are different).

I went on holidays with friends when at college/ university and they were all very water based, pools, snorkelling, water parks. You'd miss out on loads if you didn't swim.

I think it’s worth perusing if you can. Thinking of scenarios where it would help... if he becomes a dad and had to help one of his children who got into trouble in water. Silliness of teenagers daring each other to do stuff. I’m sure there’s others. I think it’s great you’re going to try again. Good luck

I think if you can get your child swimming and riding a bike it's fairly important.

Yes, they can avoid these activities, but it's going to restrict them.

Similarly, my DD who is 11 and a string swimmer and confident bike rider CANNOT for the life of her, do a forward roll.

I've decided enough is enough and we are practising every night with me flipping her over. It's not an essential skill but she hates not being able to do it as it comes up again and again

Why on earth do people with children wuth disabilities pile on and take offence? It should be pretty clear that most people wouldn't think a child with disabilities who can't swim is ridiculous. Why on earth would you assume otherwise?

In the case of the OP I think I'd have a longer break,and come back to it when he is a bit older,in a very supportive teaching environment..

There aren't many preteen boys who would enjoy lessons with kids much younger than them.

It’s vital.

Not only from a safety perspective but your kid is going to be the only child on holiday around the pool who can’t swim. He’s also going to do compulsory swimming at school soon and will be one of the poor kids who can’t swim.

Do you and your OH take the kids swimming?

My DSC are 9 & 12 - met them 3.5 years ago and they were brilliant swimmers when I met them. The key is to take them when they are young and get them used to the water. The longer the fear goes on the bigger the problem.