How important do you think learning to swim really is?

[Falconhoof1]

My DS 9 hates being his head wet or putting his face in the water. He had a meltdown a year or so ago at swimming lessons and I stopped taking him. When I've taken him to the pool myself he just wades about in the shallow end and refuses to go deeper even with me holding him and a pool float. I've always thought it important but considering the stress he goes though, is it really? Barring any freak accidents he's not likely to be in a watery environment if he never wants to go swimming.
My personal feelings are that he's missing out on the fun of swimming. But if he doesn't see it as fun and never wants to, is that an issue?
I never had any problems like this with my DD 13. She just wanted to do it, but he's so different. What do you think?

Barring any freak accidents he's not likely to be in a watery environment if he never wants to go swimming.

He’s not going to be a child forever, or necessarily living in the UK forever. He may very much want to go swimming later in life.

My dad grew up in England before moving to the coast of Aus in his twenties, and never learned to swim properly when he was young. Much harder to learn when you are older and have less free time & find learning new skills harder. He regrets it even now.

People travel more these days, and certainly will in coming generations. He might end up in places where he will miss out on a lot if he can’t swim.

I think it is a good life skill but not an essential one. If swimming is causing your DS anxiety I would leave him be for now. With no pressure from you, he might change his feelings in a couple of years.

In the meantime you teach him about water safety, being mindful, wearing life jackets in boats.

I can swim but only get the chance once a year on holiday... Which I wouldn't do if I didn't like swimming. I live near a canal and a river and even though I can swim I still wouldn't want to fall in and it is pretty easy not to be in danger of falling in by sticking to the paths.

My three all learned to swim with a swimming club. I can’t speak too highly of the lessons they had.

in my DC's school they don't go swimming until yr5. I think this was the same with my son. I'd say that's the norm but I could be wrong.

I think water confidence and safety are more important than actually being able to swim lengths.

I would make sure he knows the importance of being safe near water and ways to stay safe.

I think it's important that you can be near water and not panic if you get splashed. For example if you are walking by a canal or river and a giant dog jumps in right beside you and your face gets wet (happened to us).

Or if you do slip and fall as you are walking along the shallow water by the edge if the sea, not getting in a panic when you get wet will help you. Or to just be near water and not be frightened or worried by it because you have an idea what to do.

I think it would be difficult to avoid water your whole life, but maybe I'm wrong.

Op you've said your ds doesn't like getting his face wet. I think I would want to sort that out more than him not being able to swim. Easier said than done though.

How long has Britain had school swim lessons? Is it a recent thing or gone on for decades? 80% of British adults can swim (in some fashion) 25m. 50% of American Adults can't. In USA, we don't usually get swim lessons in school.

Bertrand seems to be deliberately ignoring the fact that most children going to swim lessons and learning all the strokes actually enjoy it. I agree there's no point in carrying on with lessons once they can swim a length confidently, IF all you want it for is safety. Leave the spaces for those who enjoy it.

Being able to swim a length in a warm pool is fuck all use if you fall in to a river or lake.

Maybe not but it's a got to be more useful than freaking out if your face gets wet!

I think water confidence and safety are more important than actually being able to swim lengths. I agree, overcoming any fear first.

Being able to swim a length in a warm pool is fuck all use if you fall in to a river or lake

It will give you confidence and stop you panicking. Of course it helps!

Look, if you don't see the point /can't be arsed /don't want to spend the money /kids hate it and you don't want to upset them then just don't bother with it.

I'm Australia, live near the beach - have always had houses with pools, or dams and gone camping near water. My opinion needs the qualifier.

Yes , he needs to learn and I would take him back to lessons. It is possible to learn to breaststroke without putting your face in the water btw. Some teachers are particularly good at teaching reluctant swimmers , it's just a question of asking around. Some absolutely suck and make the problem worse. Do some research in your area.

( It sounds like there might be more to him and his refusal as you describe the sensory issues though)

Every year heaps of folk travel here from the UK and other cultures who don't consider swimming essential. They all head to the beaches. Every year a number drown or need rescue. Huge numbers of homes have pools, and children drown every year from lack of supervision and no early stage swimming classes.

I took both mine to baby and toddler classes where they learned to orientate themsleves if they fell into a body of water and kind of squirm to the sides, before doing lessons with them for years. They are both functional swimmers.

I can't conceive not teaching a kid to swim in Australia.

• and yup. Typos.

Strong swimmers seem to be just as much if not more at risk than non-swimmers so from a safety aspect I'd say learning to swim is completely non-essential (in fact possibly counter-productive). As a social skill though it has more value. Your ds will probably be the only one of his friends/family that can't swim so he will be a bit left out sometimes.

Great then that's fine isn't it?

Bertrand I think if I'd been calm, he'd have been calm. And as I said, there were hundreds of people who could have fished him out. As for "rain-swollen", he could have stood up in it. I was nervous because he couldn't swim. It was irrational. If we'd been walking by the Thames, that would have been a whole different kettle of fish. DD wanted to fish out a tin can, she realised that the bank was too slippery and gave up. We told a member of NT when we got to the end.

If two kids fall into a lake fully clothed, one can't swim and panics getting their face wet, one is a strong swimmer used to swimming lengths... Its a bit silly to say the non swimmer might have an advantage!

Honestly the self justification here is absurd.

You don't have to understand. I think adults that can't swim (insert disabilities disclaimer here) are missing out and look a bit pathetic. My dad can't swim and looked stupid when he couldn't jump in and help my sister who got into difficulties in the sea many many years ago. I had to do it! I was 9.

Yes swimmers can drown. But why not give your child the best chance?