How important do you think learning to swim really is?

[Falconhoof1]

My DS 9 hates being his head wet or putting his face in the water. He had a meltdown a year or so ago at swimming lessons and I stopped taking him. When I've taken him to the pool myself he just wades about in the shallow end and refuses to go deeper even with me holding him and a pool float. I've always thought it important but considering the stress he goes though, is it really? Barring any freak accidents he's not likely to be in a watery environment if he never wants to go swimming.
My personal feelings are that he's missing out on the fun of swimming. But if he doesn't see it as fun and never wants to, is that an issue?
I never had any problems like this with my DD 13. She just wanted to do it, but he's so different. What do you think?

Don’t stArt me in this. Swimming lessons for small children are the greatest con since bottled water.

Why are they a con?

I can swim and I take my children to swimming lessons. But I never understood what it is considered essential. I don’t avoid holidays where I go near a kayak or boat but it’s pretty easy to avoid. I have not been to a swimming pool since school until DC. I really just don’t like to swim as an activity.

I think if you don’t swim you will choose what you do in your spare time accordingly. Similar to cycling, you won’t go to centre parcs if you don’t cycle. I think driving is 100* more essential but I know lots will disagree with me.

Last summer we went on holiday and during a trip to the swimming pool DD had an accident.

Just don’t go to summer holiday with a pool. It’s very simple. I never did when I was young. My parents were into city breaks. I can think of also hiking if you want something active.

BertrandRussell 9 is hardly a small child. He should be swimming 25 metres by the time he leaves primary school.

I think you made a massive mistake stopping taking him to the swimming lessons. My DS has mild/moderate Autism and went to his first swimming lesson without problems. However when we went back the following week he screamed the place down, begged me to take him home. I had to dig deep because I thought if I take him home now I will never get him back here again. He finished all the levels and is now a confident swimmer. I think you need to be tough and arrange one to one lessons with an instructor who has been fully informed of your sons worries and fears and take it one lesson at a time but don't give up.

If he hates the idea of swimming, maybe what you should do is see if you can arrange some sort of 1-1 water safety training? I would hope this is part of what they do in school lessons (it was when my DD did them) but if he's water phobic a group lesson might be counter productive.m

If he can't ride a bike or swim, is there an underlying issue? Children with dyspraxia often find these gross motor activities very challenging.

He hates wearing goggles too. I feel like he does have some sensory issues- i didn't put this down at first as they are so mild but he also hates the feel of some clothes and doesn't cope well with noisy places. Maybe it's all tied up together? But I also think he's incredibly stubborn and is my softly softly approach to his own ends.

Of course driving is essential!

Look, if you want to spend life avoiding pools then don't bother learning to swim.

Most children enjoy it and it's a relatively cheap and easy way to get some activity in their life. If you aren't bothered then that's up to you.

Maybe some help here:

https://dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/dyspraxia-children/swimming-instructors-guide/

School swimming is a daft waste of time imo. Really, why's that then?
Granted I went to school years and years ago but the swimming lessons were great, did all sorts of swimming and survival tests.Do they not do this anymore.

He can't ride a bike or swim.

I'd say that is going to make him look a bit ridiculous when he's an adult.

If he hates noise group swimming lessons and public swim sessions are going to be awful for him. I would look if any pools offer quiet sessions or maybe look into pay as you gym a lot of gym pools allow kids at certain times and are usually very quiet.

Find a small, warm, privately run pool. Ask about on fb groups.

Then book him in for a course of 1:1 lessons. And leave the pool once he is changed! Make it non-negotiable.

I think swimming is really important, for his future family, for his safety, not necessarily for fun.

Yes we did fun stuff at secondary swimming.

My Dd's primary lessons were painful. She had lessons outside school

My DH can't swim, and has led a reasonably happy and productive life despite it! Obviously, he can't take part in water sports, but at 9 your DS should be able to understand that. DD will start lessons this term, it's not that we don't think it's a useful skill (I can swim), but there are plenty of other things your DS can do instead.

No one ever asks me if I can swim or ride bike. I would say it's worse fir a child it teen, not an adult.

*for a child or teen

Swimming isn't an option for me personally, the kids have to learn. Every adult I personally know that can't swim has learnt as an adult or regrets that they can't swim.

On the other hand I don't drive and have no inclination to ever drive a car. I'll stick to a little scooter.

Would it be possible to change to a quieter pool, and have one to one lessons?

Would he respond to bribery/reward for putting his face in the bath? Keep it really fun, because, yes I do think it's important and would probably have got a bit desperate about it when he was 6/7.

Can you explain how not being able to ride a bike makes someone look 'ridiculous'?

I personally consider it a life skill.