How important do you think learning to swim really is?

[Falconhoof1]

My DS 9 hates being his head wet or putting his face in the water. He had a meltdown a year or so ago at swimming lessons and I stopped taking him. When I've taken him to the pool myself he just wades about in the shallow end and refuses to go deeper even with me holding him and a pool float. I've always thought it important but considering the stress he goes though, is it really? Barring any freak accidents he's not likely to be in a watery environment if he never wants to go swimming.
My personal feelings are that he's missing out on the fun of swimming. But if he doesn't see it as fun and never wants to, is that an issue?
I never had any problems like this with my DD 13. She just wanted to do it, but he's so different. What do you think?

Oh I see you want a row! Sorry not biting!

Wow I’m ridiculous and pathetic!!

I’m out of this thread - some people are just fucking rude. I wouldn’t take my son swimming on my own as I’m not a strong enough swimmer to help. I also manage years at a time not getting into water or swimming. I’m good.

And I’m removing this thread before I get any more annoyed by people’s judgy rudeness!!

Being able to swim a length in a warm pool is fuck all use if you fall in to a river or lake.

Huh? That is nonsensical.

Swimming is swimming. Of course the skills you use to swim in a pool are also useful in a lake, even if the lake is more challengingly.

*challenging

Essential. Mine went from 6 weeks and weren’t allowed to use the steps they had to climb in and out and learn to go along the side.

I would use the bath and a snorkel mask and rewards to get him to put his face in (put coins in the bath) at a temperature he likes so let him fill it and get the temp right. Knees outside bath. Do this until he is comfirtable. Then hold breath etc but face mask on etc . I would introduce water pistols and let him have two (and a rule of no faces and code word and ‘home’. Wellies and long muddy walks with jumping in and if you have a local dyke etc you can splash in there. Then find a local small pool away from potential humiliation in a big public pool (we have a local one at a spa which is a metre deep all the way) and talk to the managers about the issue and see if you can take your son there. At this point I would move away from one on one and invest in other children especially if shallow. No splashing etc slowly slowly catch a monkey......
or go for a fun session with loads of floats etc
Ask around for instructors the one my kids had - had a 6 month waiting list but she was amazing. Always go for one on one in this type of situation. But I’d do the prep myself for free!

Also don’t forget the power of talk, what frightens him? Be patient, be kind. mine get very cold after so we have two towels each and they are huge and make sure clothes after are easy to put on and we take spare clothes (crocs and socks for example!). Mine also get the swimming monster after - so we have snacks and thermos of hot chocolate in swim bag. They chose their own costumes and towels. Etc but if they wanted a t shirt they could have one or a wet suit.

Swimming is great exercise and a social magnet for teenagers!

I can swim ( never get my face wet..hate it) but haven't for about 40 yesrs....and have never ridden a bike. My children do both very well.
I'm nearly 60 and dont feel I have missed anything.

Swimming is great exercise and huge fun if you like it. Agreed. But being able to swim a length in a warm swimming pool wearing a swimming costume will not help you if you fall into “wild” water. And it is likely to make children over confident and parents less vigilant.

One of my friends couldn't swim (no disabilities, her parents didn't take her or do lessons). She had to sit and watch when we went on holiday, she felt ashamed when doing secondary school swimming lessons and has finally taught herself in her 30s but she missed out as a child/ teenager.

It's fine as an adult to not want to swim but how does anyone know if their child will want to swim when older.

I'm sure teenagers whose parents didn't bother teach them tell them it's fine so the parents don't feel bad. I know I did this with other stuff.

If two kids fall into a lake fully clothed, one can't swim and panics getting their face wet, one is a strong swimmer used to swimming lengths... Its a bit silly to say the non swimmer might have an advantage!

You're missing the point. Which is that the non-swimmer would not be in the lake in the first place. They would take better steps to keep safe from it.

So not self-justification at all

People who can swim may make up a larger % of drowning deaths because they are more likely to do stupid things like swim across an estuary.

I’d be really interested to see what % of drownings due to unexpected entry to the water involved people who can’t swim.

I don’t think being able to swim 25m in a pool is likely to be enough to keep you safe and that is one of the reasons I would argue that you need (where able) to do more swimming, not less. E.g you can practice in a pool with clothes on, practice in rivers, practice in the sea, and then you have those experiences to draw on so are more likely to be able to swim automatically despite the shock, rather than having to concentrate hard to execute a skill you can’t do automatically.

I've never learnt to swim and I haven't missed out on anything. We don't take beach holidays or holidays where we'd sit by a pool anyway, city breaks are our kind of holiday.

Not learning stems from school swimming lessons in the late 1970s. I was very keen to learn when we started lessons but really struggled with the basics so one lesson the swimming instructor took us non-swimmers to the deep end, lined us up along the side and pushed us in one by one. That then made me fear water and after that I did everything I could to get out of lessons.

I can ride a bike though.

I always hated swimming. I did lessons until I got a 5m badge as I was so shit I couldn't even get to 10m. At school lessons I swam half a length on our final lesson then got out, compared to every else's 10+ lengths.

I don't swim in the sea on holiday and I probably go swimming once a year if that. I do go on sun holidays but I jist use the pool to cool down for 5 minutes after sunbathing.

I've never learnt to swim and I haven't missed out on anything. We don't take beach holidays or holidays where we'd sit by a pool anyway, city breaks are our kind of holiday.

That's great, but how do you know if a 9 year old is going to want to go to waterparks, learn to scuba dive etc. Not teaching children to swim is taking away the option.

Essential to me.

I live by the sea and I'm often woken up by the lights of search and rescue helicopters blaring through my window.

Brings home just how dangerous the sea is inn a haunting way, death by drowning is so common round here it barely makes the papers.

I'm glad you've got Aqua Sphere goggles. They are really good and don't press into your eyes like other goggles can do.

My nephew can't ride a bike and hates swimming. Similar age. He'll come to it eventually. Just like my own son who developed these skills late.

Interesting what you said about the sensory issues. Both Skills will be more difficult for someone who has sensory issues. Kind gentle exposure and lots of patience / positive praise will be the way forward in getting your son to do these things. Good luck!

But being able to swim a length in a warm swimming pool wearing a swimming costume will not help you if you fall into “wild” water.

We’ll have to agree to disagree. Knowing how to swim in a swimming pool (regardless of water temperature) will of course help you in any other body of water, vs not being able to swim at all. I don’t see how anyone can think otherwise.

I think it's essential.

My brother didn't like get his face wet when he was little, he used to get out and dry it off every time it got wet. We still take the piss about it now. But he still had to learn to swim and he got over it in the end and enjoys swimming now.

Yes to tough love in this case.

We don't have any swimming pools locally. The nearest is a 40 mile round trip and the lessons are booked up years in advance. Fortunately, our local primary is the only one I know of round here to still have a pool so both DC were taught at school. We never, ever go swimming as a family though which is a real shame.

It's fine describing it as non negotiable or essential if you have access to a pool.

My grandson was having swimming lessons when he was about 6 but my daughter stopped because he cried. When we go on holiday now ( he is 14 and very sporty) he looks quite sad when he can't join in some of the pool games with his cousins. His dad can't swim either and just walks in the shallow end. I think he may have passed on his fear of water.

He will probably be fine without swimming lessons, and never come into any bother.

But what if he does?

I'm in NZ, which means everyone is a relatively short drive from the sea, a lake or river, and swimming lessons are non-negotiable.

Every summer, barely a day goes by without a drowning tragedy. All of them are awful, but it's especially heart-rending when it's a baby/toddler/child, or a tourist (worse: honeymooner/s) on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday (too many of the summer drownings are).

Just to add. Always teach respect for water whether you can swim or not. I live in a place where people drown every year even if they can swim because the sea is so powerful.

I can only speak of my own experience, but if there are sensory issues "tough love" won't help at all. Swimming pools can be very overwhelming places with a lot of noise, lights, smells and sensations.

One of our children started in a hotel swimming pool which was much smaller and quieter. It was a long trip and expensive. That said, they weren't massively freaked out by the pool experience generally. There are other issues and all the persuasion in the world wouldn't make a difference so you have my sympathy!

1:1 lessons were key for us though. I'm not sure our child would have learned otherwise. A group would have been too busy and confusing and even hearing and following instructions would have been hard.

Good luck!

That's great, but how do you know if a 9 year old is going to want to go to waterparks, learn to scuba dive etc. Not teaching children to swim is taking away the option.

Where did I say I'd taken away taken away that option from my children? Both learnt to swim, my oldest had his first holiday in the sun last year with uni friends and came back saying that he wouldn't be bothering with that kind of holiday again. His younger brother hasn't shown any inclination to go swimming since learning 8 years ago, neither with my husband or with his friends. It's just not something that his group of friends do.