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Premature birth

Connect with others and find premature birth support.

Original poster

For Multiple Mama

120 replies

FraggleRock77 · 10/01/2015 08:47

I cannot find the most recent thread about you and Fee? I do hope everything is ok? Is it me that can't see it or am i going bonkers!!! X

OP posts:
seaoflove · 11/01/2015 00:53

I have to confess tripets, I have been wasting time tonight reading those threads in Multiple Births, and looking at it with bullshit spectacles on, it's kind of obvious it's a load of crap. I noticed several posters including yourself delicately question the veracity of some of the things she said, too...

So what's MN policy when it comes to posters like this? Do their posts get deleted, or are they left to stand?

LuckyAugust · 11/01/2015 08:53

Gosh I am truly shocked to read this. I was following another thread a few weeks ago where the OP's waters broke at 18 weeks and that apparently was a troll too. Me being very naieve never doubted there stories for a second. I would wake up on a morning and deliberately go to these two posts hoping an update had been added and all was well. Its absolutely horrifying. After a loss at 15 weeks last year and stresses and worries in this pregnancy MN has been a great support to me but now I'm looking back wondering just how many posts and stories are true. Sad Sad Sad

Doublethecuddles · 11/01/2015 09:35

Is it a form of Munchausen by Proxy? She must have spent hours researching all the conditions! As someone lucky enough to have 2 healthy DC I found her discussions quite plausible regarding ICU!

Annbag · 11/01/2015 10:07

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at the poster's request.

Annbag · 11/01/2015 10:09

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at the poster's request.

Original poster
FraggleRock77 · 11/01/2015 10:43

Really! She claimed to be pregnant while Fee was still in NICU! She clearly has MH issues!

OP posts:
Original poster
FraggleRock77 · 11/01/2015 10:47

How do they stop trolls setting up another email address and posting again? X

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 11/01/2015 11:17

AFAIK they will ban previously banned posters again if flagged up - so it is important to report anything dodgy seeming.

Thanks to all the 'd'yo every wonder' ladies.

shabbadabbadingdong · 11/01/2015 11:24

Am on both the 'd'ya ever' threads and the bereaved Mums thread. From Multiplemammas first post I knew something was wrong. After being trolled on the bereaved Mums thread at least 3 times you kind of pick up on 'bits of stuff' that people post. Why anybody would want to be a bereaved Mum is beyond me.

shabbadabbadingdong · 11/01/2015 11:25

.....and, for me, the latest pregnancy was the final straw!

imip · 11/01/2015 11:25

I must confess that I always thought something amiss with MM. I post in larger families and never really engaged with her. I had five singleton babies in 6 years and 20 days, so while her kids seemed close, it could be believable, but what threw me is how she coped with it! Seriously, for those with small kids, small age gaps, and still working etc? It did seem a little unbelievable because she posted a lot.

I could never follow her prem stories because I had a prem baby that didn't survive (cord prolapse at 25 weeks after pprom), so all these recent stories a a little too close to my heart.

However, there was just something that didn't gel for me, and it was how well she coped. I just didn't think it was possible....

afreshstartplease · 11/01/2015 11:26

The lengths she went to are shocking

I hope she feels bad for the upset she caused the other ladies

PacificDogwood · 11/01/2015 11:31

I would bet she does not feel bad Sad

I only engaged with her in her most recent thread about Fee and did not know that she had also claimed to be a bereaved mum…. how despicable Angry
shabba, nobody wants to belong to the club that is bereaved parents, but trolls do seem to like the sympathy and warmth and good advice you all give Thanks. I admire how any bereaved mother keeps going, never mind being kind to strangers who are in the same boat and the resilience to keep doing just that inspit of vampiric trolls like MM ads to that admiration ThanksThanksThanks

PacificDogwood · 11/01/2015 11:33

imip, d'you know what? You are right.
I had hot had her down as a troll, but I did marvel at her sang froid - all these children, some v ill, new baby critically ill in NICU, lots of family events…. and her always seeming quite chilled.
I only had 4 in 7 years, one of which was prem and ill, and I was a lot more frazzled.

shabbadabbadingdong · 11/01/2015 11:37

I didnt write that properly Pacific Blush she hadn't claimed to be a bereaved Mum but thats how I personally thought the story would go about her 'little prem baby who was in hospital.' I think she must have realised that IF she had put that and then come onto the bereaved Mums thread my head WOULD have exploded Grin

It was everything else she wrote - and, for me, the POAS comment was the final straw. The last thing on my mind, when one of my twins was seriously ill in hospital, was sex!!!

She will not feel bad - trolls dont feel bad they just love the attention.

afreshstartplease · 11/01/2015 11:37

I hadn't realised about her claiming to be bereaved either

I would love to know the truth about who she actually is tbh

afreshstartplease · 11/01/2015 11:39

Oh so she didn't claim to be bereaved

I am loosing track what a tall tale!

PacificDogwood · 11/01/2015 11:39

Ah ok, well, I suppose that's a little bit of despicableness that she did NOT commit then.

But yes, to everything else….

PacificDogwood · 11/01/2015 11:40

shabba, I just reread what you wrote and you were quite clear. I jumped to conclusions. Sorry.

imip · 11/01/2015 11:48

It just always sat uneasily with me pacific The very little I read about the poorly twins in NICU, she always seemed upbeat about it. Those of us with lots of young dc close together must know the exhaustion, all the kids where, what, 5 and under? I had a 5, 3, 1 and newborn and I couldn't string two words together Grin.

There was always something, and I guess the NICU experience illustrated it, that it never got her down, she didn't find herself spread too thinly - all those things that I think in that position, genuinely, we would all experience and discuss on Mumsnet (perhaps she did, but I not recall seeing it in larger families, and I tend to read that regularly). So I kinda feel a little relieved she was a troll, because it seemed (again I only skim this part) that one of the twin babies was going to have SN and those kids were probably not going to have all their needs properly meet...

shaska · 11/01/2015 12:07

I don't really care about regular trolls, but using stories about sick kids is a bit scary - and what's scarier is that it's not unheard of for this to cross over into real life. There are a few famous cases but the main one I know about is Kate Parker, who managed to fool a LOT of people online, but more importantly a lot of medical professionals, into thinking her children were gravely ill - she even had serious medical procedures performed on them.

Her children were eventually removed from her, and she's been charged. It's a complicated story but there is info here: thetruthaboutkpmomof789.wordpress.com/

A lot of times when it's stuff like what MM did I think it's about attention. Having a bunch of people online supporting you and telling you you're doing great. It's sad that people feel they need to make things up for that. And even sadder when it crosses over into harming actual children.

AWhistlingWoman · 11/01/2015 12:12

I replied to some of her threads. I'm sorry that you got your fingers burnt fraggle

It does make me feel saddened. My own experience has many hallmarks of being a troll. I had twins (yes always with the twins I agree northern) very prematurely and then one of them died in the NICU. Sadly it is all too true but I wish to God it wasn't. I would give anything for my daughters to have been spared such an awful time and for my first baby to have lived.

If you have an experience that is a little different from that of the majority - one where you don't end up with one lovely bouncing healthy baby - it does tend to drive you to the internet in search of people who have had similar experiences perhaps? I know that I felt I had absolutely nothing in common with the majority of other parents I met at baby groups and so on.

Sadly, over the years, I have come across many, many people who had some need to invent ill, premature or dead children for themselves. I can't begin to guess at their motives but I don't believe that any happy and fulfilled person would invent stories like these. I just hope it doesn't put off posters who are going through a truly difficult and isolating experience and could do with some kind words and support.

WhatKatyDidnt · 11/01/2015 15:05

This is just terrible :(
I also had my doubts when her elaborate family tales crept in, but I totally believed Apollo and Artemis's birth.
I am saddened and angry as this board has provided so many of us (me included) with vital support at a shocking and desperate time of ours lives. I don't want tomorrow's posters to be treated with suspicion.

5madthings · 11/01/2015 15:20

The one post that made me doubt her was when feliks was born at home at 24? Wks and the paramedics managed to incubate him. I thought tiny prem babies were hard to incubate without specialist equipment, teeny sized tubes etc. But I gave her the benefit of doubt as she was s longish standing poster.

Bloody hell, so sorry for those who have been hurt by her. The mind boggles as to why someone would do this. The lengths she went to etc.

triplets · 11/01/2015 15:29

Its just a breath of fresh air on our d`ya thread that she has gone. We had her for 2 yrs and had had enough by Christmas, we felt at one point HQ was not going to do anything but I think others from other threads reported too. There are three of us on our thread who have survived the loss of our child, she hurt, really hurt. I think she would be easy to spot if she pops up again. x