Can I get an abortion without my parents finding out

[Hamsters99]

Hi I’m 16 and don’t want a fking baby but I’ve done 2 pregnancy tests and both were positives

I didn’t even want to have s-x and I didn’t have a contraception pill so I just hoped to not get pregnant but here I am I took the tests because I missed my period and remember I had s-x like 5 weeks ago

could someone explain the steps how to get a confidential abortion please I’m reading about BPAS, MSI, Brook and other places but I don’t understand what to do like which one should I contact

I’m not telling my parents *[post edited by MNHQ to remove graphic description]

I live in Cambridge if anyone could recommend something here thankyou so much

Massive well done OP for reaching out for help on here. And for addressing the problem not burying your head in the sand. I'm so sorry this has happened to you, and that boy/man is not your friend, but you're doing really well and you will be fine. Good luck ringing in the morning

You’re 16. There would absolutely be presumption that you’re competent. They cannot contact your parents without your permission.

Friends don't make friends do things they don't want to do 😔

'No' means no. And not saying 'no' does not mean yes.

So sorry op your going through this, I had one at 11+6 a surgical one, no letters sent to the house at all, they don't even write to your GP either, tell you if you start really bleeding to go to maternity but tell them your having a miscarriage if you don't want to tell them you had an abortion, I don't regret my decision at all and would do it again if I ever needed to.

Little one its ok to feel conflicted. But he isnt your friend. Would you do to a friend what he did to you? Thats why people are suggesting you may need couselling for what he did.

As for the abortion, take the advice of the wise women here. Do you have a close friend who's mum you can trust to post pills to? When I was 16 (in 1989, I am old!) my friends mum was very supportive of me getting a pregnancy test. Far more than my own mother would have been. You couldnt just pee on a stick in those days so she helped me get tested. She didnt judge at all.

The Icash and GP's who refer to hospitals for terminations do not send any letters. We ring patients in the numbers given by themselves for which that they want contacted on.
we generally give everyone an ultrasound to determine dates before being seen by the nursing team who will counsel patients on procedures.
we do not insist on people being accompanied by an over 18. If your deemed Gillick competent your seen by us on your own, if this is your wish.

Um, she's 16 and in distress? Highly likely that you're old enough to know better than to judge someone in that situation. Get some perspective.

FFS she is 16 and desperate. Dry up!

All you have to do is book your normal doctor appointment but you will have to say what for usually as some doctors will not deal with abortions. The doctor will then refer you very quickly to a local hospital and your given some tablets usually wait till a miscarriage or what will be like a very heavy period. You will be seen to by lovely nurses and sent home later that day.

Sorry and that info is UK only early stages talking from experience in this field for a long time and also you can ask your Dr for non disclosure and no letters etc will ever be sent

Please, please, do not even consider anything that desperate. You can get a safe properly done abortion. There is absolutely no need to risk your life. You are worth so much more than that.

Try not to panic. Just tell the clinic that you don’t have anymore above 18. They will guide you.

Do you have a supportive friend who can go with you?

Ignore this comment about that. It just shows a horrible ignorance that you needed help. See how many people have realised this and posted to help you and ignore.

You've been given some good advice on here and have a plan tomorrow to call, follow that through.

It will be hard but try your hardest to get some sleep. I know it sounds like bollocks but try and remember a really good film, or somewhere you went, or memory whilst you are trying to doze off.

You are doing well, you have a plan, make it happen in the morning.

I know it's been said but if there is anyone you can tell about this who you trust in real life then please do.

This is all you noticed in OP’s post. She is 16 with difficult parents. She does not need to use perfect language when is distressed and desperate.

You have a plan tomorrow so you don't need to do anything tonight. Call them and then you can go from there.

Try your hardest on focusing on a good thing right now. You are a strong person.

Call the number tomorrow and they will help you.

O thank you this makes me feel better. I don’t normally say horrible stuff but I was stressing. But now I have a plan thanks to everyone here so I feel a bit better.

Goodnight I’ll try to update tomorrow (u can remind me if I forget

OP I had an abortion at 16 and my parents never found out - I was much further along than you so had to have a surgical abortion in hospital.

I was very clear I didn't want my parents knowing and that was fine, at 16 you have the right to confidentiality. They said some stuff about me needing someone over 18 to be there to pick me up when I was discharged, but I simply told them that wasn't possible and I would be discharging myself.

The advised me against this, and I was worried about what would happen but in the end I just got up and walked out of the hospital and no one tried to stop me.

@Hamsters99 Would any of your friends Mums support you?

But ultimately at 16 you have the right to make your own decision and have confidentiality.

Take good care of yourself

I remember the year after abortion finally became legal in the the US, my 16-yr-old friend had to get one.
This was when there were clinics.
Her boyfriend was 18.
They drove 4-5 hours away when they could have easily driven an hour away.
They asked me to lie for them - they were gone overnight and it was awful.

Find someone who’s 18+ and whom you can trust. You should easily be able to send your doctor & abortion-related mail to their address.
I wish you the best of luck. ❤️

I don't believe for one minute that any of the abortion providers would refuse to help for that reason.

That's absolutely right. Other than when there is compulsory sectioning a hospital or clinic can't stop a patient leaving.

I have PM’d you @Hamsters99 xx