Can I get an abortion without my parents finding out

[Hamsters99]

Hi I’m 16 and don’t want a fking baby but I’ve done 2 pregnancy tests and both were positives

I didn’t even want to have s-x and I didn’t have a contraception pill so I just hoped to not get pregnant but here I am I took the tests because I missed my period and remember I had s-x like 5 weeks ago

could someone explain the steps how to get a confidential abortion please I’m reading about BPAS, MSI, Brook and other places but I don’t understand what to do like which one should I contact

I’m not telling my parents *[post edited by MNHQ to remove graphic description]

I live in Cambridge if anyone could recommend something here thankyou so much

Hi OP.
I had exactly the same situation when I was 16 / 17. I contacted my GP first and then got referred to a clinic and then went for the procedure. This was 20yrs ago and I lived very rurally and even getting to Dr without my parents knowing was hard I had to travel over 2 hrs to Liverpool to go the clinic. But I did it, parents never found out and didn't regret it.

Hopefully you will have closer clinics and services will have improved. Definitely call BPAS first thing tomorrow. You should be able to have the tablet termination.
I'm sorry you are in this situation but you are not alone. Do try and confied in some one though for me it was my chemistry teacher who gave me a big hug and said she had had the same thing.

@Hamsters99 You can collect the pills if you’re worried about your parents opening them, and you don’t have to have an over 18 person with you. They do recommend you have someone to support you but it’s not mandatory and they don’t have to be over 18.

I didn’t even want to have s-x

Just in case you need it, OP, please reach out for support.

r a pecrisis.org.uk/get-help/want-to-talk/

Hi no I’m not ok I’m alone and sad with everything in my life and now I have to deal with this but I’ve got some good advice here. Thank u for caring

I’m so sorry OP. You deserve RL support with this. Is there anyone you can confide in? Are you safe from this happening again? Sex without your consent is rape.

OP just to echo what everyone's saying, call BPAS in the morning and you'll be able to sort this out without your parents knowing.

I'm sorry you're in this situation, that you can't confide in your parents and that you feel so alone. I hope someone comes along who listens or who can distract you at least. I'll be crossing my fingers that it'll all be over quickly and without drama.

You have already had good advice, so I have nothing really to add, but I am sending you love and good wishes. Please take care of yourself.

• Lime Tree Clinic (iCaSH):
• Located within the Brookfields Hospital, this clinic provides contraception and sexual health services, including abortion care. You can self-refer by calling tel:0300 300 3030 0300 300 3030.

If you feel you will benefit from counselling:
https://www.msichoices.org.uk/abortion/considering-an-abortion/nhs-funded-abortion-care/

Good luck xx

Lots of icash clinics in Cambridge. There is definitely one in Fulbourn.

If you really can’t name an Over 18 support person, you can nominate someone your own age and they will risk assess them - for example ask how you would get to hospital if you had an emergency. And if you don’t want the pills posted to your house, you can collect them from a clinic. I think MSI have less strict rules about having an Over 18 support person.

I had a surgical abortion at 7 weeks at a BPAS clinic - there was never any paperwork/info/appointment letter etc sent in the post.

Do you have a friend who you can confide in and can support you OP? You said you didn’t want to have sex. Did someone force you to?

Take care of yourself xx

Hate to think of you going through this alone. I hope you're okay. Keep posting on here.

My lovely. I would follow the advice already and contact someone local to you. If you had sex and didn’t want to - that’s also an issue. Sex without consent is assault / rape. You need counselling for this and specialist help and support. You can say no to anything sexual at any time. X

Is there a trusted person at your school- even if you’ve left school, you can call them. Perhaps your old form tutor? or the pastoral support person?

are you part of any clubs/activities? Any friends parents who you can trust?

I suspect there would be an army of MN locals who would support your IRL but o know that feels risky!

Hey sweetie,

I would suggest going and talking to the team at centre33.org.uk/

Look after yourself, and remember, things will get easier x

Really I don’t have anyone over 18 who would support me I’m panicking now?? I can’t see if MSI has a clinic near me

@wordywitch says there won't be a letter, and I hope she's right. You need to make sure that whatever service you use is completely confidential before you hand over your details. Good luck x

Hi. You don't need to inform your parents and whatever clinic you decide to use won't either. Marie Stopes are very good and they'll also discuss regular contraception methods going forward.

You can call or book a online, but its better to call as you'll get an appointment quicker. All the best

https://www.msichoices.org.uk/abortion/

Use MSI, they are good, they didnt send me any meds or anything, I had a face to face appointment, they gave me the pills and it was over quite quickly. If you dont have privacy at home surgery is better as it allows you to recover quicker. But if you want a medical termination, the earlier you do it, the better. I had mine at 6 weeks, it was like heavy period

@Hamsters99 MSI definitely don’t require an over 18 accompany you to an appointment, I’ve never heard of that tbh. But if you did somehow need or just want someone to support and accompany you, I know many trained women in Cambridge who support people through events just like this, for free. If you’d like me to connect you with a charity or group of volunteers there who can help you, just DM me and I’ll be happy to help.

When you ring the service closest to you tomorrow morning just tell them what you’ve said here - that you don’t want to have anything sent to the house and that you don’t have anyone over 18 to support you.

They will respect that and, if for any reason, they can’t help they will be able to tell you who to call next.

I know it’s hard but I think that you’re making a very sensible adult decision at a difficult time. Although it’s hard you will be ok.

I can’t add to the advice on here , but just wanted to say sorry you are in this situation and I hope you will get the support you need. If you can confide in anyone please do or keep talking on here. Take care of yourself.

Yes thanks I'm going to call somewhere tomorow. What do you mean specialist help? I know what you mean about consent I was pressured into sex because he knew I didn’t want to. I don’t like thinking of it as rape because he’s my friend

Oh sweetheart if you didn’t want to have sex and he pressured you into it then he’s not your friend. Please call Rape Crisis and talk to them - they won’t make you report it to the police if you don’t want to but you need to tell someone.

do you have any close female friends who can support you? Do they have mothers you could talk to? I would be there for any of my daughters friends if they couldn’t tell their parents…Or maybe a teacher you trust?

i will suggest that if a surgical termination is an option rather than medical you should consider it - then everything will be over on the day rather than having to deal with it at home.