Can I get an abortion without my parents finding out

[Hamsters99]

Hi I’m 16 and don’t want a fking baby but I’ve done 2 pregnancy tests and both were positives

I didn’t even want to have s-x and I didn’t have a contraception pill so I just hoped to not get pregnant but here I am I took the tests because I missed my period and remember I had s-x like 5 weeks ago

could someone explain the steps how to get a confidential abortion please I’m reading about BPAS, MSI, Brook and other places but I don’t understand what to do like which one should I contact

I’m not telling my parents *[post edited by MNHQ to remove graphic description]

I live in Cambridge if anyone could recommend something here thankyou so much

You don’t have to tell your parents anything and the clinic won’t either. Search ‘abortion clinic near me’ or just ring the number of whichever provider you want to use and they’ll go through your options with you. Do you know the date of your last period to work out how many weeks pregnant you might be? If you’re not sure they can get you in for a scan.

If you get in touch with NUPAS , they will talk to you and you can probably just be given a couple of tablets to terminate the pregnancy, if that’s what you want. They are very helpful and compassionate. Good luck xx

Do you live at home, and would they open your mail? You can see where I'm going with this. You need proper advice though, and you need to make sure it's confidential. I hope someone will come along with informed advice for you.

Are you doing this on your own? I’d really hope you had someone that you could talk to about this in real life. I don’t think your parents have to know but I think it would be a good idea to talk to one of them.

In terms of clinics, any of those names should be fine. It just depends what’s most local to you.

If you are less than 9 weeks you could take the pills at home that make you have a miscarriage, or you can opt for surgery though that involves a longer appointment and having sedation and recovery time at the clinic.

I worked in an abortion clinic as a health care professional so feel free to ask any questions. You’ll be okay, the staff will help you. Do you have a friend you can tell to help support you?

No one will tell your parents. In my city you can call the sexual health clinic and you will get compassionate, non judgemental help from there. Also it sounds like maybe you were raped or coerced into sex. I hope you find the support you need. Don't worry about letters arriving at your address that could give away your privacy. Clinics will be aware of this if you tell them.

Yes you can. And the sooner you do it, the less difficult it will be, so act quickly. At 16 you are considered competent to make the decision yourself and if you tell the people helping you that you are concerned about the consequences if your parents find out and you need your privacy protected, they have to respect that. They may want to talk to you a little just to understand more clearly why you don't want them to find out - in some cases, a young woman in your position might be pleasantly surprised about how loving and supportive her parents are, but you know them best and your decision is final.

Edit - I originally asked where you are but then spotted you said in the OP.

https://www.bpas.org/contact-us/bpas-cambridge-and-peterborough/

Hi OP. I don’t know much about the abortion side of things but noted you said you’d didn’t even want to have sex. I just wanted to check in and see if you’re ok and whether you may also need other support. Sorry if I’ve read this wrong.

lots of posters have been very helpful already.

edited for typo

The problem is that hospital appointments invariably trigger a letter of confirmation sent to the patient's home address and not even in an unmarked envelope - unless everything is online now, of course. So the problem isn't just that someone may "tell" her parents, but that the letter from the the local hospital's gynaecology department would make it obvious, unless she could intercept it before her parents got home. My parents were/are controlling and I have personal and painful experience of this very situation - not related to pregnancy or abortion, but personal and embarrassing nevertheless.

could make an appointment with your gp and they can transfer you to the nearest abortion service, this will be kept confidential. Best of luck, I hope you have a friend who can be with you through it.

I was just coming back to post a link but @NeverEverOhNo found it already - you can use the "book an appointment" button on that web page or call 01789 416 561 from 7am tomorrow.

You can keep posting here. We will support you if you don't have anyone nearby you can trust. Once you take the pills it can be just a really heavy and crampy period, but the sooner you take them the more similar to a period it will seem.

https://www.icash.nhs.uk/sex-and-relationships/termination-of-pregnancy

https://centre33.org.uk/

Worth contacting Centre 33, they will have supported loads of teenagers through this.

She doesn’t need to use a hospital or gynaecology department though, the vast majority of abortions are carried out by the clinic providers already mentioned.

No letters will be sent to your home OP, so don’t worry about that at all.

She doesn’t need to go through her GP, that will just waste time. She can go directly to the services mentioned and arrange it directly.

Op, I know that you don't want to tell your parents but they might be more understanding than you think. If you really can't face telling them, is there any one else you can talk to in RL?

Even if you are 100% sure that it's the right thing to do and you are early enough to be able to take tablets and have a chemical abortion rather than a surgical abortion, it's a big thing to go through on your own, especially when you're as young as you are.

Fwiw, my daughter was a student when she had a termination, so a few years older than you, but there were a couple of times (during the process and again several months later) when she needed my emotional support and I was very glad to be able to give it. I expect your mum would be the same.

If you were forced or emotionally blackmailed or in any other way coerced into having sex then please find someone to talk to about that as well. You shouldn't be going through this on your own.

Hi thank u I will call somewhere in the morning. My last period ended in late May like 25th maybe. So I guess 6-7 weeks?

I used NUPAS and I didn't tell anyone (except my boyfriend at the time, but I went alone) they are completely confidential x

If you are Under 18 and call BPAS, they will ask you to name an Over 18 person to support you through it but that doesn’t have to be your parent - it could be an older sister, a family friend etc. They absolutely wouldn’t tell your parents but they might encourage you to - the vast majority of parents would rather their teenager was safe and communicating with them. Good luck, you’ll be fine.

You’re still very early so that’s good. Give BPAS or MSI a ring tomorrow and they will go through your options with you. They’ll ask you lots of questions about your health, the circumstances around the pregnancy, and some safeguarding questions to make sure you’re safe and have appropriate support. The staff are there to help you and they won’t judge at all so just be honest with them and you’ll be absolutely fine.

You can sort this out without your parents knowing.

I'm worried that you had non consensual sex. Are you ok? Are you still in that relationship?

Yes I’m worried about that my mum opens all my post so how can I avoid her finding out if I’m sent some abortion info or pills

What if I don’t have an over 18 person to support me? Can I still go there?

Is there someone at school/college you can talk to?
Please don't be alone.