Does my expartner have a right to our unborn child?

[Mistydaym]

I moved out of my ex partners house when his parents physically assulted me. Since then ive been homeless with our toddler and now found out im pregnant. We've tried to make it work but he keeps defending his parents and think they have done no wrong.

I've told him to leave me alone, I want to continue this pregnancy in peace. Does he have a right to me or the child as of now? When the child is born will he have a right? How do i navigate this.

If you haven't already, please report your inlaws assault upon you, then at least there is a record of abuse

Well if he's not paying anything toward your child you should put in a claim to CMS.

You're going to have contact with him because of your toddler so having an abortion isn't going to remove him from your life.

OP, sounds like you have had a tough time and experienced domestic abuse. Please contact Womens Aid to get some help and support.

i would put yourself and your toddler first and terminate this pregnancy at an early stage.
I do think it’s relevant that there has been violence and it may be that his contact is through a contact centre.
You’re going to need to be strong over the next few weeks to sort out your housing and finances - I do hope it all works out for you. I’m pleased you’ve left him.
Seek advice where you can - from BPAS - Womens Aid - Gingerbread.

It's a good decision. Especially for your toddler who will be needing you to work towards providing some stability and security.
That needs to be your focus. Good luck

No, his baby still has the right to a relationship with its dad.

Hi OP, I really hope you are getting some emotional support from somewhere, you are going through such a lot. Please take care of yourself and your toddler

Your priority is your existing child.

Yes your ex may get rights to see her. Let a court sort that.

Okay…it’s ‘basic’ for you to understand but OP needs some advice from professionals not from random people on mumsnet is my point.

This.

Please get proper support and advice @Mistydaym and don't make the decision to terminate based on what random people on the internet are saying to you.

It doesn't sound like you want this baby and it would be one more tie to your horrible ex, but you're not going to get rid of him anyway because you have an existing child with him.

Do you have family/friends to turn to, and a roof over your head?

If the prick isn't paying anything now towards your joint child, maybe he won't maintain much of an interest in the future.

Sending you good wishes. I hope life will be kinder to you soon.

Why do you think?

Helpful response…it would appear that horse has bolted so to speak 🙄

@Mistydaym I'm so sorry you are in this position and are having to make such a difficult decision. When you contact the abortion clinic they should both pre and post abortion counselling. It might be worth talking things through with someone.

Get advice professional advice if he has abused you and social services are involved they might help you flee

I'm so sorry to hear about your very difficult situation OP.
I hope you can get far away from this horrible man and his awful parents.

Put in. A child support claim. Solves one problem.

legally he can fight for his rights. Obviously.

You can have a free half hour with a solicitor. Look for one that specialised in family law.

I think an abortion sounds like the best option and I don’t say that lightly.

He has no say over what happens whilst you’re pregnant but he does have rights once the baby is born and he seems like the type of person who would fight for those rights, just to get at you.

Speak to the abortion clinic tomorrow and they will give you your options.
Then you can make an informed decision.

Once that has been sorted then report your ex and ILs to the police.
Make sure you screenshot messages or take photos of any injuries etc for proof.

If you already share a child, then reporting to the police every time will work in your favour, if you want to put restrictions in place with him seeing the eldest.

It does sound like in your particular case, having an abortion is the best option. Sorry you are going through this

I know plenty of women who don’t have contact with the father. Tbh it sounds like after the furore if you being pregnant settles down he will leave you to it. Don’t let how you think he might react influence what you want to do

Good luck, a termination is sometimes your best option.

He can easily challenge this in court snd be granted parental responsibility and besides she already has a child with him. So he will have parental involvement with the older child and ignore the younger child?

You are in such a shit situation, OP, and there are no easy answers. I think an abortion is the right decision, your toddler needs all you can give right now. I hope you are able to get some support in real life. X

OP, I am so sorry you are in this position.

It sucks.

You can register a baby and not put him on the birth certificate, and then he would have to go to court to get Parental Responsibility...which would the potentially him having the right to access, take the baby to his parents, etc. Though depending on the SS reports etc, there mighty be restrictions. But essentially - yes one way or another he would be in your baby's life. And , in cases like him, yes, it seems insane to me, too.

OP, hard as it may be, in your shoes, personally my choice would be to end the pregnancy and concentrate on caring for your toddler.

Talk to Women's Aid or any Domestic Violence / Abuse / Women's support agencies and charities you can find. It might be that because your toddler witnessed the violence you will have a better chance against restrictions over access to your toddler than you would over a new baby.

And worrying about the huge financial and practical impact of having a baby and toddler, on your own, would be more than I would choose. Supporting one child with a violent feckless father and violent parents is bad enough - you presumably didn't know that that is what you would have to deal with when you had your first child. But bringing another child into that, supporting a second child in the middle of all that - no.

And as you say, it will only give him more links to you. For years to come.