Does my expartner have a right to our unborn child?

[Mistydaym]

I moved out of my ex partners house when his parents physically assulted me. Since then ive been homeless with our toddler and now found out im pregnant. We've tried to make it work but he keeps defending his parents and think they have done no wrong.

I've told him to leave me alone, I want to continue this pregnancy in peace. Does he have a right to me or the child as of now? When the child is born will he have a right? How do i navigate this.

Nothing says she chose to make a baby with this man. I’ve been on contraception (tried multiple things inc coil, pill, implant & condoms) for over twenty years & have never tried to get pregnant & we now have two children with my husband, plus 2 miscarriages & blighted ovum so 5 pregnancies in total. No contraception is 100%

Yes it does! Although the father has a right to contact with the child the court can rule that he has zero contact with the mother and all handovers are by a trusted third party, such as a social worker.

Goodness me

Move away, far away.

My suggestion again is to go to The Police over the assualt and press charges, get a restraining order etc.

This in turn should then affect your ex's ability to get contact or how the contact will be arranged if he goes to Court over it

It needed to be reported to the police. Does your ex know you are pregnant?

I was going to suggest the same. Best thing I did was to disappear, though there were no joint children involved.
Report every assault to the police as it puts it on record.
Don’t ever tell him you terminated a pregnancy, he may use that against you in the future as a pp suggested.
Contact Women’s Aid, see if they can find you a refuge place as far away as possible.

No.
I can't see how.
Suddenly he would have all the rights if he was
"asking" for abortion, wouldn't he?
Alternatively, move away if possible.

Parenting is more about responsibility than rights. He has no rights over you. He will have to pay maintenance which is done through the CMS. This is for the children. A Court is likely to consider that it is in the children's' interests to have a relationship with their father. So if you cannot agree something allowing access, a Court will likely make an order so it happens if he wants it and pushes for it. But you may need specialist advice about what is appropriate given the violence of his parents. You have children together so he will be a feature of your live until they are well into adulthood.

Its so terrible, but the courts allow access for abusers.

For those posting as if this isn't an especially big deal - abusers use this to continue the abuse, and - contrary to what people say - abusers rarely make good parents. Survivors are constantly re-traumatised, forced into repeated contact with people who may have raped them, beat them, controlled every aspect for their lives.

It makes no sense, as SS will put huge pressure on mothers to leave abusive relationships, even taking children away, because of the adverse impact of abuse on children. And then those children are forced into contact with an abuser.

OP, please get advice local DV org.

Your body. Your rules. If he does have a job. I would put a cms claim today. It may not be much but its something. Good on you!

I would also abort. i couldn't risk it, what if he got a vess and abused my baby. No way. Definitely run and block everywhere

It is a choice to have a child, when having sex think what kind of parent they would make, it really is that easy

Of course once the baby is here he will have rights it’s his child.
it will be joint custody unless you take him to court and have valid reason for him not to be around the child

It sounds like a very difficult situation in which to have another baby , regardless of the fathers involvement. As other posters have said contact relevant services for support with domestic violence and housing . You may wish to add a trigger warning to your title as the way in which you describe ending your pregnancy " sounds " flippant, and this may be deeply upsetting to some on this forum . I wish you well with your decision.

Unless you report what has happened to the correct authorities and get the ball rolling he will have as much right as you once the child is born..

and without sound harsh and I don’t mean it in a nasty way your talking about abortion like you have already made your mind up.

like one of the previous post said you’re asking strange on the Internet for advice see legal advice

It's not that easy at all. Very often abuse actually starts, or significantly worsens, only during pregnancy. Its statistically high risk which is why it is a factor on risk assessments for domestic abuse.

Abortion isn't an easy choice for many for a multitude of reasons.

Very few abusers walk around with a sign saying 'abuser'. It should go without saying, many are accomplished, outwardly charming men. They target deliberately, and abuse often ramps up over time, once it becomes harder for victims to leave. The closer victims come to leaving, the worse the abuse gets, because abusers feel they are losing control. It's why the most at risk point of domestic femicide is when victims decide to leave. Having to share custody with an abusive partner, and fearing for children in their care is actually a significant barrier to leaving. Children have been killed by abusers after family courts insisted on shared custody.

There is a high occurrence of domestic abuse and sexual abuse/ rape. It's much more common than you think for children conceived within abusive relationships to be a product of this. Obviously this is taboo topic that few would talk about openly due to the child involved.

I understand its more comforting for many to just blame victims' unwise life choices. It's a defence mechanism. Many victims adopt this very defence mechanism too and blame themselves - it creates a comforting illusion of control over a situation they had little control over, and few choices.

Very well said@456789098765g 👏🏻

I hope you can access some counselling and some advice at the clinic before you make a decision. Don't underestimate how you might feel after the abortion. All the resentment and anger towards him that you might feel for making that decision. He may well still have an emotional hold on you whichever decision you make so please weigh it up carefully.

You already have a child with him, therefore there is no way to cut ties. As such, if you don’t want to have an abortion per your previous posts. Don’t. If you think it’s the best option, then do it. But I’d think about it a bit more before making rash decisions if you’re already not sure.

That's assuming it is a choice to have sex.....

We don't know the details of the OP's circumstances, but this is a woman-wide issue....did you miss the words 'rape' and 'beat' in the PP?

And that's before you start on emotional and psychological coercion .

Blaming the victim makes it easier to feel that it could never happen to you.....

💐OP.

Difficult situation and you have a right to the decision that works for you. I would have made the same decision myself in your shoes. Nobody can use your fertility to control you.

If you get a restraining order against the parents maybe that will help towards them not being allowed contact with your child. Wishing you the best.

How did you get on today OP? xx

👏👏👏👏