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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

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Original poster

Abortion but planning TTC in next 6 months

104 replies

Lifelyk · 28/09/2023 16:12

Apologies but posting her for traffic as pregnancy choices is really quiet.
I am thinking of abortion with my current early pregnancy at 5 weeks but ttc again in 6 months.
I have a 2 yo DC and I want to finish my studies due Dec 2024 and plan a baby for Jan/Feb 2025. I am so unsure at this point on what to do if I couldn't conceive then as I am 34 and will be 35 then.
Any suggestions are appreciated.

OP posts:

Yellowlily8 · 28/09/2023 22:36

Usernamen · 28/09/2023 22:06

Well, pro-choice really has to mean any reason, doesn’t it. Who decides what’s a ‘good’ reason? If you don’t think that should be the women whose body it is, then no, you’re not pro-choice.

I think people should be honest and admit they’re not pro-choice, they only support reasons that ‘sit right’ with them, and don’t support any other reason women may have to seek an abortion.

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Pro-choice has to mean for any reason

In that case, maybe the majority of women are not pro-choice.

And that's ok.

As I said, pro-choice is just a word. It's not some sacred title we should all be terrified of losing.

renthead · 29/09/2023 04:37

You’re either pro choice or you’re not. You can’t say “I think you can terminate for any reason but…”

Of course you can say that. Pro choice means you would respect a woman's right/access to an abortion if she ultimately chose that. It doesn't mean you personally have to think that it's the right choice for every woman in every situation. The OP asked for opinions, not for everyone to cheerlead her into a termination.

daffodi · 29/09/2023 18:24

I’m surprised how many people are saying it’s wrong. I don’t think it is at all

Circumstances can change a lot in 6 months, or even from one month to the next. I myself was in this situation at the beginning of the year and soon to TTC again. It makes a massive difference- in my case it’s meant marriage, more savings behind us, longer in my job etc. I was assured it does not affect fertility, though I am a decade and some younger than you, so all I’d be aware of is your age as obviously it can be trickier to conceive post 30 and post 35.

It is NOT an easy choice and was a very hard thing for me to do but much rather any baby gets parents in the best position to welcome them to the world, rather than ones who aren’t. Sure maybe you can make it work but that can be stressful.

OP, whatever you choose is valid and has to be your decision. You’re the only one in the world who can choose what to do. The decision to terminate is reversible, in that you can TTC again when ready. The decision to continue with the pregnancy is permanent and affects you and your whole family. Whatever you choose will be right. You deserve to put yourself first here. You can DM me if you like x

Simonlebonbon · 30/09/2023 10:10

Yellowlily8 · 28/09/2023 19:26

I admire the women on here who share their experience and they were able to see it for what it is, a medical procedure and nothing to carry guilt and shame about, nothing at all.

I think this is simply naïve. Abortion isn't any old medical procedure. More often than not, it does come with at least some degree of emotional baggage, and women considering an abortion deserve to know this as much as they deserve to know about all the other aspects of it. It's not like getting kidney stones removed or something. Even if, rationally, you don't think it's anything to feel guilty about, feelings can't always be "talked to", and abortion regret can be a crippling thing to live with.

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That's why I explained I'd felt the guilt and for a long time, regret.
However it was the best decision in almost every way to my future, the guilt was horrific. Actually, besides the emotional turmoil and dare I say trauma, it was the best decision.
I have a terrific family I'd not have had I continued my first pregnancy.

If the father had been a random one nighter or something I'd have continued the pregnancy, however, he was instead a nasty little person. (Not as in height, as in personality, just so nobody thinks I'm being height-ist!)

There are women on here who are absolutely able to live without any emotional consequences to their terminations and I do admire them and I am honestly, jealous, actually. Very jealous. Because it fucked up my head for a long arsed time.

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