I can't see any positive side to having this baby I feel so sad

[teeden26]

I’m feeling so messed up at the moment don’t know what I really expect from this but I need to vent.

I got pregnant 1 month after leaving a 4 year toxic relationship, at the start I was happy as I convinced myself I was infertile I don’t know why. But anyway this happiness subsided when I was around 13w. The man who I am having a baby w has twins on the way w another lady and refused to tell her about mine and his child as “she is pregnant i don’t wanna stress her out”

I lived w him practically as soon as we started seeing each other and I know he absolutely did not cheat but I just thought why the secrecy and I use to read their messages she would always overstep her mark and he would not put her in her place and then he’d delete texts.

I’ve been off work for 2 months now as I’ve been extremely anxious due to this situation and not being able to process my emotions from my last breakup etc. But now I just have this horrible constant thought what have I done why am I having a child w a man whose got other kids on the way what am I doing with my life I feel like I’ve completely messed up and I’ve became extremely depressed (I am receiving therapy) I really don’t want to have a baby in these circumstances I am broken. I want a termination but morally Termination would be too late as I am 21w in 2 days. I just can’t get over this feeling I’ve messed up my life and now I can’t do anything about it I don’t know what to anymore.

I've just read your post and found it really heart breaking. I had pre natal depression when pregnant, it was very very bleak. Although things definitely didn't get fixed overnight things did improve and Im
much much happier now and wouldn't be without them. to you xxxxxxx

@teeden26 just wanted to send my best wishes for you and your little one after reading this ☺️ People say it so often that it becomes meaningless but to say it’s the best thing in the world really is so true. I hope you find that x

That's amazing that you are feeling at peace with the decision you have made and although things won't change overnight it seems like you are going in the right direction. I have thought about you most days since reading your post and am very pleased you are in a better place than when you first posted ❤️ xx

On a practical note:
will naming the father on the birth certificate not provide any benefits?

I’m not an expert in this, but what about CSA; future inheritance obligations (in Scotland children are entitled to one third of the parent’s moveable estate); even the chance for your child to know who his father was.

The future is uncertain, so be sure that you’re sure. x

Hi, I'm sure it would provide benefits but at the same time I don't want to run the risk of my child's father trying to keep him from me. He has already said before if I do this and I do that he will keep my child from me and I don't want him to be able to do that. I'm happy for them to maybe have some sort of relationship one day if father still wishes. I just think it would be very stressful to myself to go and fight in court if he really kept my child against my will x

Thankyou 💕💕For sure things will get better slowly but surely it's nice to know other woman have been through this and came through in the better side

Thankyou so much 💜💜

Sounds like you’ve thought it through x

This made me smile ☺️

Good on you OP. You sound so mature and level headed. You have a wonderful supportive mum behind you too by the sounds of it.
You don't need that wanker and neither does your son.
You're going to be his whole world and he yours 💙💙 it really is beautiful.

Now enjoy the rest of your pregnancy lovely xxx

So happy for you OP. I am glad you made the right decision for yourself and the best of luck to you and your new journey.