Partner now wants me to abort at 13 weeks

[mumlife18]

So anyone who hasnt read any of my previous post. I found out i was having twins at week 6.
My partner and I discussed options, so i booked an appointment at the clinic. When we got there he persuaded me not to do it.
after that visit my whole mindset has changed. I just had my 12 week scan and i fell in love with them instantly.
Today my partner has changed his mind and said
i either abort them and keep the relationship or keep them and have no support what so ever from him. (We already have a 1 yr old together)
I have rebooked for friday but i feel completely shattered😞 i just don’t know what to do.

Please don’t do it for him OP. I have just made the choice to end a pregnancy based on what a man wanted and not what I wanted and I regret it so so much. Please think about what you want

Totally agree. The relationship is clearly over either way, isn't it?!

Exactly!

The relationship is over anyway, so forget about him right now.
As a single person do you want more children or not?

FWIW the silver lining here is that you know if you choose to continue you’ll be a single parent but he could have easily gone along with it and then left you just before or just after they were born like a lot of men do when they want to leave.

I think you'll hugely regret having an abortion OP. And I speak as someone who's had one and doesn't regret it at all, I am far from anti-abortion.

You WANT these babies. Keep them, as others have said, you'll cope. You'll thrive. He's absolutely awful.

Your 1 year old child should never be your “rock” OP. You are supposed to look after her, not the other way round. There doesn’t seem to be any consideration of her needs at all in this chaotic situation.

Don't do it OP. ❤ As you love them.

And dump him, the things he's saying are horrible.

@OooErr yes I don’t disagree with you but meant that I think she is saying that if she terminated it wound be to appease him and try to hold onto the relationship.
she definitely is the only one who can say whether or not she could manage but she talks about very much wanting the babies.

OP there were lots of reasons why I shouldn’t of had my first child. I went ahead because I really wanted to and that saw me through everything. Our circumstances now couldn’t be any further from what they were back then & I’m forever glad I didn’t terminate. It would have haunted me forever. Termination is right when it’s what you want but only then.

Regardless of what you decide to do about the pregnancy, you need to get rid of that awful prick of a man.

He sounds like a complete c**t.

Honestly reading what you've put he sounds like he wants out anyway but just wants to make sure he has no extra 'commitments'.

I'd never chose a man over my children (not saying you're just saying I wouldn't).

I'm also pregnant with twins (16+3) and would ditch my partner there and then if he told me to abort. We have a DS (3) so a bit older than your DD.

It's not impossible to look after these children on your own, you're capable I'm sure. Will it be hard? Absolutely but any new baby is isn't it xx

Fuck him. Keep your babies.

Yes and mine.
What a controlling bastard he is.
It's your body OP, you must do what it right for you.

Bin him. He is controlling and abusive.

You choose whether you want to keep your twins. You are worried about doing it alone but do you have support? Support from your mum? Friends, family? It will be hard having three young children but it is manageable if you want the babies.

I agree with free choice regarding pregnancy but this is not free choice. Your partner is trying not to give you the option. I think get rides of him. You are stronger than you think.

I was forced into a second trimester abortion many years ago. It haunts me it was horrendous. If it’s not your choice then don’t do it please.

This. Make your decision based on what you feel regardless of him.

He's out anyway. Now decide for yourself.

People always talk about a woman's right to choose.
But usually that choice has been made by a man.

It is YOUR choice OP.

Yes it’s your body . If you wanted to abort then yes it would be the right decision YOUR decision. He is not in charge of your body - he can’t make you abort your babies it’s not his body x

Sorry OP you are going through this.
However this man sounds vile. If you both logically sat down and weighed up everything up you might be in a different place.
However it sounds like he is giving you an ultimatum.
There are some things in life that you can’t undo.

Whether you have the abortion or not, deffo bin him. x

How dare he speak to you like that. You need to get out. Even if you terminated the pregnancy he wouldn't suddenly stop being a highly unpleasant individual.

OP, this man sounds absolutely vile.

Your body. Your choice. No uterus. No opinion.❤

He can choose to walk away from his family. If he does, so be it. You and your daughter deserve better.

Forget about what he thinks. What he thinks you should do. What financial struggles you may come across. This about you and what you want. What is best for you and your daughter right now.

I am 100% pro choice, and you deserve respect and love for whatever decision you decide to make.

Please seek urgent counselling wether it’s through the abortion clinic, a GP, a charity. Or keep posting here if it helps xx

Don’t do it OP, he’s a cruel bastard. Keep your babies and dump him.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Obviously he doesn't deserve you. I hope you leave him regardless of whether you continue the pregnancy or not.

Think really carefully about whether you can do this alone. I have twins and it’s so so hard. I’m also a single parent and have been since they were 3. I have older children too. Coping with twins is not easy. Just keeping them alive and safe takes so much time and energy. I didn’t sleep more than 2 consecutive hours in nearly 2 years. I was a wreck. Even now, they are 5 and I struggle with my kids in public. There always someone kicking off, crying, refusing to walk etc. Going anywhere is so expensive. My older kids are missing out on the fun things we used to do. Childcare is out of this world. I can work as I can accommodate an au pair. Can you afford nursery fees for 3 kids? You’ll need a rock solid support network if you decide to do this alone. Think really really hard about what you want your life to like. It’s easy for people to say you’ll cope. You will of course but you should do more than survive. You should thrive and be happy.

You absolutely don’t abort. You cannot let somebody else dictate this to you. You are these babies mother.. screw him the vile man.

OP if you decide to terminate do you really think you will be able to get back to having a strong relationship?

The reality is you will never be able to get over him making you do something and you’ll always resent him for it.

It sounds like he wants out anyway so be prepared that if you do terminate he will probably leave you anyway.

Don't do this. Every woman must choose for herself.

OP, whatever you choose, your relationship with this man is effectively over, it can't survive blackmail.
I wish the best for you x