Partner now wants me to abort at 13 weeks

[mumlife18]

So anyone who hasnt read any of my previous post. I found out i was having twins at week 6.
My partner and I discussed options, so i booked an appointment at the clinic. When we got there he persuaded me not to do it.
after that visit my whole mindset has changed. I just had my 12 week scan and i fell in love with them instantly.
Today my partner has changed his mind and said
i either abort them and keep the relationship or keep them and have no support what so ever from him. (We already have a 1 yr old together)
I have rebooked for friday but i feel completely shattered😞 i just don’t know what to do.

Don't abort op either way it will effect your relationship if you do it you will never forgive him for making you do what you feel is right

So are you happy to stay with him ( for now) but have no more children?

Because it might be twins next time too....

A risk he was willing to take, now he has to live with the consequence.

You have to do what you want - without thinking about what he wants / says. It's a big choice but only you know what you really want.

It sounds like he isn't the nicest guy on the planet. Fair enough early on to change his mind etc. But after you've had the scan and got your head around having twins etc. That's not a normal reaction from him at all.

Is he normally horrible? I'm assuming he must be because it doesn't add up otherwise.

Can you see yourself forgiving him? I understand twins are expensive and you have a small one but what help is he going to be? I started with twins and lost one -25 weeks pregnant so I do realise the financial implications . However if it was a choice it would be the kids that stay. You can replace him

Nope. Bin him. You will cope with the babies, and eventually thrive. What a horrible person.

OP, I’m sorry you are in this awful
position. I think you need to consider the two issues separately.
Firstly, do you want to stay in a relationship with this heartless, callous, emotionally blackmailing abuser?
Secondly, and regardless of what you decide about your relationship, do you want to have the twins? This needs to be your own decision, weighing up the fact that you
would find it quite hard to be a single mother of three, but have to a degree bonded emotionally with the pregnancy since the scan.
I think you could benefit from talking this through with a counsellor, to explore all the options, any financial support/benefits available, your job situation, maternity leave, childcare etc. But whatever your decision - be sure that it is what you want, not what you are being bullied into.

You have booked a termination because your partner told you to choose between him and your unborn children, and you chose him

I think you need to have a word with yourself here. Why would you terminate a pregnancy to keep a man? Why would you want to be with a man who asked you to do that? He sounds like a nasty, manipulating, abusive cunt.

You do know you're in an abusive relationship?? Have your babies and dump the fucker, you'll be fine

What a cunt, trying to force a woman to have an abortion she doesn’t want (having already gone back and forth), and trying to force her with emotional blackmail and abuse.

I’m very pro choice, and it sounds like you’ve already decided you want this pregnancy.

Whatever you do, this relationship is dead. His behaviour is abhorrent.

Fortunately, in UK the law and courts can force him to support both his children financially until they are 18.

If he fails to have any relationship with his children, that sounds like a blessing.

Take a deep breath.

Step back from your situation today.

Look forward - how do you see your future ?

I'm pro-choice, IF it's your choice. Don't be forced into an abortion by a partner who quite possibly isn't going to be your life partner if you have any doubts whatsoever.

You're in a difficult position, but please read the advice you get on here.

My DD is a SP to twins, it's bloody hard, but...

I don't envy you the decision, do what you feel is best for you and your nuclear family, not what your partner (who may or may not stay around) wants.

If you want to PM me please do xx

Many women do. I am one women who did just that, and regretted it, and the relationship didn't kast, obviously. It's called being in an abusive and controlling relationship. These men manipulate and control everything, and sometimes it's very difficult to see the wood through the trees! It's not always as black and white as it appears. OP need to find empowerment, but it only comes when you are truly ready to be empowered..

He's a disgrace,how dare he put you through this. Your poor babies having that for a potential father. Being a single parent especially to twins or more isn't easy, believe me I know but do this alone if you can and be happy.

Thankyou everyone so far for your lovely comments💗
I myself am a twin so my mum expressed to me that she didnt think i should keep them as its hard and i had pnd where as she was strong willed.
however she has now come round think she was just worried. And honestly at first i was a little unsure myself.
But when I saw them on the scan they were wiggling and one of them kept opening their mouth and it was magical. And my heart felt so full. My scan was yesterday too.
Before i would be really forgiving but this has really done it for me this time.
He said to me
“You don’t do anything you’re the most laziest c* I’ve met and you just go on and on plus you’re boring. i want out.”

@MissMaple82

Yes I do understand, I was trying to make OP see it from the POV of her being abused here.

And does he have any idea what an abortion looks like and feels like at 12 weeks, especially twins, this is just so awful and sad. Only you can make this decision but I bet if he had to have an abortion he wouldn't do it, fucking selfish coward, these kind of men make me so angry. If he was worried that much about financial situations regarding babies he shouldn't have gotten yoy pregnant,you didn't get pregnant alone did you! Sorry for the rant, x

Leave him

Well.

Sounds like your relationship is over anyway

Oh bless you, how bloody cruel of him! Keep your babies. You've said you want them and you can do this, with or without his support. Just lay down your boundary and don’t deviate from it. If you’re keeping your twins then tell him, and say you do understand he’s scared and that having three LOs is a daunting prospect but you won’t be told to abort babies you’ve said you want to keep.

Ditch your partner and keep the twins, a much more rewarding option imo (although it’ll be hard work!)

I did. I explained to the woman on the phone i may still call up and cancel but she said if i didnt book it now there is a wait.
I’m just very scared about being able to support the babies and feeling very overwhelmed. I adore this pregnancy but i also have to weigh up whats best for my babies. However not sure how the relationship could work after this if im honest

He said to me
“You don’t do anything you’re the most laziest c* I’ve met and you just go on and on plus you’re boring. i want out.”

I’d show him the door. Whether I kept the babies or not- even if I loved him. I didn’t see your other thread but this poor excuse for a man would not be controlling my life.
Remove him from the equation, do you want the babies? Do what you want. Don’t abort for HIM, I’ve a feeling he won’t stick around either way.

“You don’t do anything you’re the most laziest c* I’ve met and you just go on and on plus you’re boring. i want out.”

babies or not … no one should speak to their partner like this. No one. That is disgusting.

Your relationship is over, but I’m not gonna to comment on keeping the babies.
Your heart felt so full… didn’t you feel like that with your first child? But then you got PND, so it wasn’t all plain sailing was it?
You’re now going to have exactly that. But with two children, and your current under-2 who still needs to be cared for.

If you really really want to keep the babies against all odds do so but please be fair to your existing child. It’s not a question of ‘you will cope’ , but at what cost?

bin the boyfriend
then decide if you want the babies. It sounds to me like you do.
sorry you find yourself in such a shitty situation

however whatever happens your life will be happier without the horrid boyfriend