I started the abortion process and I regret it. Can a fetus survive mifepristone??

[Kiki92]

I appreciate the absurdity of asking for kindness on the internet, but please be considerate and try not to judge me too harshly for what I'm about to say. I'm struggling.

I'm 6 weeks pregnant. I became redundant last year due to Covid, so I've been living off of my savings. Not ideal, but manageable as a interim as I'm now back at university doing a business degree. Regardless when I found myself pregnant a couple of weeks ago I was happy, (I already have a 3 year old son from a previous relationship and the thought of expanding my family really made me happy). The revelation caused my partner to instantly leave me, however. He virtually vanished into a puff of smoke. I've not heard from him since.

Since then I've been weighing up the pros and cons, and decided that abortion was my only reasonable option. It seemed like the rational choice. I would struggle to afford another child on my own, and doing it all on my own again seems pretty overwhelming. Not only that, but my family would be very unsupportive of me being a single mum to 2 children with 2 fathers. (Not an issue in my eyes, but I can imagine their comments).

So, I collected my pills on Tuesday. I was putting off the process. I talked myself into starting it yesterday. I took the first pill (the mifepristone), and I instantly broke down and realised it was a mistake. I tried to make myself sick, but I couldn't. The regret was instant and overwhelming. My initial qualms and panics seem futile.

I spoke to a 111 gyno last night who told me not to take the second batch and to hope that the first pill doesn't work. He said there's hope and I'm praying for a miracle. All I can do is sit and wait. I feel so bloody stupid, and I'm not asking for sympathy for obvious reasons.

Has anyone else been here though????

💐I am so sorry you regret your decision and I hope your pregnancy will continue. Please do not blame yourself though.

@SmileyClare

Echoing other replies; you made the difficult decision to terminate for all the right reasons, and I actually think it was a brave selfless choice in difficult circumstances.

I hope you now have an emergency number to ring and have been informed of possible complications you would need to seek help for before your appointment?
Those include;
Extremely heavy bleeding,
Severe pain in uterine area
Flu like symptoms or temperature.

Please be kind to yourself. Are you able to involve your mum or other family at this stage? It's important you take any support offered

This is such a good post, I wanted to quote it in full.

I'm particularly drawing your attention to the symptoms of concern to watch out for.

Thinking of you. 💐

This is really sad and a very difficult time for you and try keep yourself as busy as you possibly can,thinking of you

@namechangingforthis19586

actually think it was a brave selfless choice in difficult circumstances.

It's not for you to pontificate and tell her she did the right thing. It's no longer what she wanted. That's all you need to know. Her choice. She doesn't need your views on it.

What an utterly strange thing to say.

I don't see any pontification, just support from a poster who clearly cares.

I think you've mis-read her post.

F

Sorry you're going through this OP. I hope all will be ok . Thinking of you x

So sorry you are going through this OP

So sorry you’re going through this 💐

@Kiki92 please try not to be so hard on yourself.

You absolutely won’t have spoken to a gynaecologist through 111.

I’m not sure of that persons particularly gynae or abortion expertise, but your best option is to ring the service who actually supplied the abortion pills to you and discuss with them.

As far as I understood it the first lot of pills can very rarely cause developmental abnormalities so that needs to be discussed.

I'm so sorry you're going through this OP, it sounds really hard.

@QueenOfPain perhaps you don’t understand how 111 words? OPs definitely in touch with the right NHS services and they are providing her all the advice she needs on the medical side.

@Bizawit hahahaha. I absolutely do understand how 111 works as I worked there for three years of my life as a clinical shift manager but 🤷🏻‍♀️

I didn't have any 24-hour emergency contact details to utilise. 111 had a doctor from my local hospital's gynecology ward phone me, because they wanted me to speak to someone with the adequate knowledge.

@Kiki92 Okay, well that’s good. It sounds like someone at 111 went above and beyond in arranging that for you and I’m glad you’ve had appropriate advice.

For what it's worth, I don't think you were given much medical information or support from the doctor you spoke to. "Wait and see" with no follow up advice or action to take, no discussion of possible complications, booked in for a blood test by a different doctor) which was later cancelled and postponed. You weren't given enough information or an emergency contact from the abortion clinic either. I think you've had poor service.

How are you feeling now Op? Did your counselling session help at all? I hope you have some RL support? X

@SmileyClare

For what it's worth, I don't think you were given much medical information or support from the doctor you spoke to. "Wait and see" with no follow up advice or action to take, no discussion of possible complications, booked in for a blood test by a different doctor) which was later cancelled and postponed. You weren't given enough information or an emergency contact from the abortion clinic either. I think you've had poor service.

How are you feeling now Op? Did your counselling session help at all? I hope you have some RL support? X

I agree, unfortunately. I didn't want to say too much more as I feel very sorry for OP. I'm truly shocked that no discussion of possible side effects from taking mifepristone only may have.

I too hope you have someone in real life supporting you.

I really hope it works out for you @Kiki92.

Don't update unless you want to, this is your life and not a soap opera, but I sincerely hope you are okay and I am sending you virtual hugs and support, whatever the outcome.

Don't despise yourself sweetheart. You did the right thing when you thought it was the right thing. Many of us have been there. xxxxx

I really hope you are okay. Sending hugs

The counsellor I spoke to yesterday was actually very unhelpful. We spoke for 10 minutes, during which she said barely anything and I just cried. I'm being signposted elsewhere though, so that's positive. I'd like to thank all of you however. I have no one in my actual life to talk about this with. (My two best friends suffer from fertility issues, so I wouldn't dream of burderning them with this. My family would be feeling unsupportive too). You guys have helped. I honestly didn't expect so much kindness and warmth.

I'm bleeding a little bit this morning after a night of cramping. So I think it's fair to say that it's over. I have no one to blame but myself... I'll keep everyone updated until I know for sure. At least someone else in this situation in the future will know what happens.

I went through with an abortion when I was younger for similar reasons to you Kiki I had a young son, financial difficulties, very little support among the reasons. I experienced some regret, I think many women do but I've made peace with my decision and the reasons behind it. I hope you can too in time, and forgive yourself.

This is a very difficult thing to go through alone. I'm here if you want to talk. Your university may offer a counselling service if you aren't getting much NHS support.

I'd encourage you to attend your appointment (scan) even though you have bleeding, you never know. Stay strong and treat yourself kindly. X

You must attend your scan appointment.

Also, they would have given you some pregnancy tests and instructions when to do them, please follow those as well.

And please stop blaming yourself.