In the process

[ohdoriswheresthesalad]

I've posted on another thread but didn't want to derail so made my own.

I've just taken the second lot of tablets internally and I am absolutely terrified of what's going to happen!

I've had no bleeding so far just cramps.
I can take some ibuprofen at 2.15 and codine at 4.15 again plus I feel really sick now but I'm not sure if that's my anxiety.

Is there anyone who's free to keep me company while I have to go through this, I literally am thinking all sorts, to I'm going to bleed to death to I'm going to see something horrendous when I pass something 😭

@ohdoriswheresthesalad I'm glad you've had a call back from the nurse! It sounds as if the pains are there it means that it's working, just taking its sweet time! As @borninthe80s said every woman is different, but I know what you mean, you want it over with so fast at the same time as not? It is such a surreal situation to be in isn't it.

I've just called BPAS myself as I was starting to panic that I had been forgotten about, nurse said the pharmacy would email me when they posted my pills out and I haven't heard a thing 😔 but the lady on the phone said today is most likely their order day and I should have confirmation of postage by tomorrow lunch time. I really hope so! Then I can take the tablets Friday and Saturday and have the weekend to recuperate and relax. Thank you both for being here too @ohdoriswheresthesalad and @borninthe80s, it makes such a difference to have this little support network 💜

@hillarypcof bless you, it's agony waiting isn't it.
Fingers crossed the pack will be with you soon 🤞🏼🤞🏼
It's really helped today talking, my dh has been good but he doesn't know what its like, no man does.
Take the codine and ibuprofen every 4 hours so help the pain, it's really been manageable unless things ramp up soon it's bearable just like a dull ache period pain.
This may be TMI but I'm now sitting on the loo hoping it might speed things up. I'm dreading going to sleep and it happens overnight xxx

I've started feeling really sick again 🤢🤢🤢

So glad to be able to be here for you ladies, it's the silver lining of my own experience. Plus I got SO much from the kind people on MN when I was in utter emotional hell trying to decide what to do in the first place. I also found reading through others' physical experiences on here reassuring - honest accounts, but I (thankfully) didn't come across any horror stories.

That said, it is such a miserable time and there's no getting away from that, but it's the right choice for us ladies chatting here right now (or we wouldn't have made it). I would have kept a singleton because my circumstances and the big picture would have worked with one, so I was hugely emotionally involved in the pregnancy. Especially knowing it was twins made it more real in a way. So I'm surprised how I've not felt it was the wrong choice - I'm not happy, because the situation was shit, but I am relieved I don't feel the intense guilt I was expecting 🤞🏼

My point here is to remember that it will be over soon physically, and then you start to lose the crazy hormones and symptoms and things seem so much clearer.

It honestly isn't the gore fest I thought it would be - nowhere near - and this is coming from someone who always had light periods and have been lucky to never have had a miscarriage xx

Still nothing but the cramps have completely disappeared now 😫
What will happen if no bleeding occurs? Will I have to go to hospital?

I am F R E A K I N G O U T!!!!

No I don't think you will have to go to hospital 💜 remember some women have MMC, sadly, so you won't be in physical trouble, it's just taking more time for you.

Try not to be too worried about bleeding in the night, if it sets in then. What I did was put three nighttime pads and two pairs of pants on just in case (I barely bled overnight though).

What I didn't realise was that the process can take longer than the eight hours one of the nurses originally told me on the phone. My close friend (who has literally just gone through the procedure) told me that for her it took about two days until the clots came out. This didn't mean it wasn't working, it was just a bit slower for her.

For your own peace of mind I would really try and get hold of BPAS if you can or even try Marie Stopes? The nurses are there 24 hours I believe.

My cramps were never awful so try not to worry about that part xx

Before my meds started working I spoke to Marie Stopes nurse and she said it can take 48 hours, so that's likely the advice you would get. It's only an A&E visit if you were soaking through more than two pads an hour.

I totally get your anxiety and worry right now but honestly this is normal. Your feelings are normal but also then meds can take this long, you're still in the window.

Wish I could be there to hold your hand! It will be okay. X

@bornninthe80s I'm so scared 😭
I'm worried I'm going to start bleeding in the night and see something in the pad!
I'm worried if I don't start bleeding what will happen!!
The bpas lady told me if nothing happens by the 24 hrs which will be 2pm tomorrow then I'll need to phone back.
I've been useless all day and now it's going to end up being the same tomorrow and not being able to concentrate on anything.
2 weeks I've been waiting for this, 2 weeks I've been sick day and night, the nausea knocking me off my feet, having time off work for it, lying to my family 😭😭😭
My girls have been bringing me drinks chocolate crisps all day bless them, my youngest just said are you going to be better tomorrow 💔
I know I'm acting like a precious snowflake but I just want it gone!
I've had 2 more codine as the pains have come back but still nothing else

I appreciate you replying I'm sure you've got other things to be worrying about on a Wednesday evening than a stranger on the net being precious, but it does mean a lot thank you so much for being here virtually 💜

Not at all, I know what it's like.

I'm so sorry you're going through this and that it's taking a while for the meds to kick in. It isn't fair that it's taking longer than expected - this is difficult enough as it is and you've had to go through a difficult process to get here. Hang on in there though. Keep talking!

I totally get what you're saying - I was SO worried about seeing something in the pad so decided I wouldn't look if I possibly could help it so just have a bin ready nearby if needed.

Your family sound fab by the way. I'm glad to hear you have that support right with you too 💜

@bornninthe80s they are brilliant bless them. My parents on the other hand- different kettle of fish entirely.

We felt our family is complete after our second daughter 10 years ago, I'm still relatively young but really felt done. Unfortunately a contraceptive failure lead to this shitty moment not something we are going to repeat believe me! We felt like if we had this pregnancy then our two girls would miss out on things we wanted them to have/experience. We have quite good jobs and no massive money worries as such (who doesn't ) but we just felt like we didn't want this at all. Sounds awfully harsh when it's written in black and white ☹️

I'm now watching re runs of gavin and Stacey while eating a twirl.
I think my pup knows something's amiss cos she won't come near me!

I don't know, maybe it's my punishment for doing this? Prolonging the agony.

It's so lovely to hear about your awesome family. Really important to have them there around you even if/despite them maybe not fully knowing what's going on for you right now.

Definitely no punishment going on here so no need to think like that 💜 I do understand where you're coming from - I had the same thoughts as this whole decision-making process has been so torturous. But this pregnancy wasn't something you chose and there's nothing you are at fault for here (unfortunately as women we kind of bear the brunt of things like these).

It's the right thing for you and your existing family. Sending lots of support from my side of the screen!

@bornninthe80s no it's not, if it was 5 years ago.....maybe.
I need to pull myself together but I feel sick again though the nausea is worse than the pains. Take all the pains than nausea any day of the week. I literally can not stand another day of feeling sick I really can't!

It's one of the first symptoms to vanish 🙏🏼

@ohdoriswheresthesalad It sounds like you have a wonderful family, OP 💜 Please do not apologise, I am so glad we can be here for you! Use the forum and this support network as much or as little as you need to, it is what we are here for. It really does sound like @borninthe80s knows her stuff having gone through this before recently, her posts have been a god-send for me in keeping me sane and grounded throughout this tricky time. As have yours, OP. Thank you both for being here. I know it is very surreal, and this is easier said than done, but just try to relax and "trust the process" as they say. Sending you so many virtual hugs 💕

Sorry for my silence - dad managed to get a last minute table for E.O.T.H.O 😂
Whilst I was out I got the text from Royal Mail to say that my tablets will be with me tomorrow. PHEW! I will get the ball rolling ASAP and keep you posted with how I get on xx xx

P.S Twirls and Gavin & Stacey is a great shout!!! 💕

I think "The Vicar of Dibley" is going to be my go-to Netflix binge to get me through this 😅💪🏻

How are you today, OP? Thinking of you

Good morning OP, how are you today? Hope you managed to relax last night. Thinking of you x

Morning @MsFrog @hillarypcof @bornninthe80s

Well nothing happened overnight, no cramps I slept right the way through.
I went to the loo, nothing, but when I wiped there was blood?

Does that mean it's starting? X

@hillarypcof hope you hear something today about your pack xxx

What a shame it's been such a drawn-out process for you. Hopefully this is the start of things now. You must be fed up now!

Glad you had a good sleep, yes sounds like it's starting 🤞🏼 any excuse for more Netflix

@MsFrog Yes I am, I was just so worried that nothing was going to happen.
I feel super nauseous this morning again, but forced some toast down so I can take my codine.
I was clearly over estimating yesterday when I said it'd all be over by tea time be lucky if it's over by the time dh goes to work tomorrow.
Oh god what if it isn't and I'm here with the kids

@bornninthe80s fingers crossed 🤞🏼

I hope because it's taking so long it'll be over before I know it, but knowing my bad luck I'll still be in this position at 6pm tonight 😫

Good morning all 💜 I'm glad you slept well @doriswheresthesalad, yes I agree with @borninthe80s surely that bleeding is a sign that things are starting to happen 🤞🏻 I'm glad you slept well and weren't in pain. I've had an update from Royal Mail that my pack will be delivered today. Just want to get it done with now! I will probably take the first pill late afternoon today and then take the next 4 tomorrow evening when I'm at my boyfriend's and he can look after me 💕