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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Original poster

Failed abortion- now 22 weeks.

184 replies

SP8849 · 05/02/2020 07:42

Hello,

I had an abortion at 9 weeks. Turns out that it failed. I’m now 22 weeks, I’ve had a scan& the baby is perfectly healthy& growing fine. I’m just petrified of any birth defects it might have? Are there more chances of disabilities such as autism due to taking the medication?

If it’s the case, in all honestly, I don’t mind. It’s just playing in my mind.

Thank you xx

OP posts:
funinthesun19 · 05/02/2020 16:24

Wow! It must be quite rare for this to happen.

Regarding birth defects, as the scan showed a healthy baby, that is obviously definitely a plus. Have you spoken to your midwife/doctor about your concerns?

I hope everything goes well op. How are you feeling about it all? Shocked I can imagine.Flowers

Original poster
SP8849 · 05/02/2020 18:23

@funinthesun19 most definitely a shock! I’ve done a bit of research on here& another mums site... I was surprised to hear other people’s stories& how they are similar.

I spoke to the midwife, she explained that everything on the anomaly scan looks absolutely normal- no concerns. I asked her why haven’t I had any symptoms?! I had a horrific pregnancy last time. She explained that it’s my body getting used to pregnancy.

The doctor was pretty useless. I’m going to see who I can contact tomorrow. Might give the midwife another call& the place which it all took place.

Thank you for being so lovelyFlowers

OP posts:
RhymingRabbit3 · 10/02/2020 20:01

She explained that it’s my body getting used to pregnancy.
That sounds like nonsense. Otherwise everyone would have a really easy second pregnancy (they certainly dont!). Its probably just because every pregnancy is different. Are you planning to keep the baby?

Confusion77 · 10/02/2020 20:08

Hi OP. Wow, what a shock. Have you only just realised? I had a medical termination at 8wks 6 days, in October. I did thorough read all the literature, and it did say that if the termination failed, they (bpas) recommend going for surgical afterwards, as the drugs used can cause problems. It didn't say what sort of problems though.

Good luck, and I hope you and baby continue to be well.

Megs33 · 12/02/2020 23:48

Iv just had a medical over the weekend I’m panicking incase it hasn’t worked now!! I have bleed and still am is this a gd sign

RAM29 · 07/04/2020 19:22

Hi,
Just wondering how you are doing with your pregnancy? I am in the same situation right now. I had a failed medical abortion at about 6 weeks, I thought it had worked my symptoms had gone ect, I took the HCG test two weeks later and positive so called the clinic and went back two weeks later for a scan and confirmed I was still pregnant and was measuring at 11 weeks.
I have since made the decision to keep the baby and I am due a scan tomorrow at my local hospital. When I seen the midwife I just couldn’t tell her that that I had tried to terminate and it had failed. Feeing very anxious.
Hope you and baby are well

MadameJosephine · 08/04/2020 08:53

@RAM29 please do tell your midwife, I’m sure she’s come across similar cases before and will be able to offer you appropriate support. In our trust someone who had a failed termination would usually be offered growth scans as a precaution. Be kind to yourself, it’s natural to feel anxious.

RAM29 · 08/04/2020 21:48

Thank you for your advise, I am going to grin and bear it and discuss it with my midwife I promise. And I think it will help with my anxiety having someone to talk too. I had a scan today and all is looking well at the moment. X

MadameJosephine · 09/04/2020 13:12

@RAM29 that’s good, glad to hear everything is going well Flowers

gingerbeerandlemonade · 15/04/2020 18:26

Ladies, just looking for some advice. I had a medical three weeks ago and have now taken two tests a week apart both saying positive - the ones the clinic give you. I've been bleeding heavily for three weeks (I had a four day break) so not sure how I can be pregnant still. Did you bleed for long after? Panicking a bit. Thanks

LunaLilly · 15/04/2020 18:51

Hi, my friends sister got pregnant when she was still in high school and decided the best thing at the time was to abort. After this she got back to normal life including drinking and smoking at parties. Later found out she was still pregnant. Midwives strongly suggested she have a surgical abortion as they thought there would be defects. The pregnancy was quite far along and she decided to keep the baby. He is now 15 and absolutely fine! That's just one story and she may have been lucky. Hope you're OK. It must be a shock xxx

Wanderedsoul05 · 31/05/2020 06:46

Hi @SP8849,

I’m in a similar situatuon. I’m now at 26 weeks and based on the scan, everything is normal and the baby is healthy. I’m happy that the baby is still but still cannot stop thinking of possible defects

Wanderedsoul05 · 31/05/2020 06:48

Hi @LunaLilly,

This is really inspiring. since she went back to drinking and smoking, she did not take any pregnancy vitamins? But still had a healthy and normal baby.

SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 31/05/2020 06:58

@wanderedsoul05 literally millions of women every year have healthy and normal babies without pregnancy vitamins. They're helpful, sure, but not the be all and end all.

HANS2015 · 26/09/2020 09:27

Did you bleed when you took the abortion? Trying to get my head round what I've been told

1Micem0use · 26/09/2020 09:46

I know 3 people who had babies without knowing they were pregnant. Light spotting they thought was their period, got bigger, but no obvious bump, thought movements were indigestion. I realise it's not the exact same situation, but as they didnt know they all ate whatever, drank, ect, and had perfectly healthy babies.

Danisays · 05/10/2020 22:39

I wanted to put a positive message on here as I went through the same thing last year and this forum was the only place that I found information and gave me some hope by reading other people’s stories.
I had a medical abortion at 8 weeks that failed and I now have a healthy, happy 1 year old!!! It was so hard telling the Midwife’s my situation as I felt ashamed and thought I’d be judged but it was the total opposite! I had a great consultant that I saw for every scan and he told me that the pills either work or don’t work and in my case they didn’t and my baby was fine!! Please if anyone on here is going through the same situation and the abortion clinic is telling you that a surgical abortion is the only alternative and that’s not you want, just know that it’s not. I personally couldn’t of had a surgical abortion at 13 weeks when I found out that the medical abortion hadn’t worked so knew that keeping my baby was the option for me. I went through every emotion possible thinking if i made the right decision, but my baby is a miracle and fought to be here today, so please know that there can be a happy ending! I hope this helps someone going through this x

HANS2015 · 06/10/2020 15:36

Well I went back to the clinic today after being told I still had an ongoing pregnancy to have another scan and talk through my options. They wouldn't see me due to my temperature being 37degreees even though I had been walking and was hot from that so still don't know anything.. I just wanna know what's going on??

NavyBerry · 06/10/2020 15:43

Which medication did you take for abortion? They usually affect the womb not the foetus.

NavyBerry · 06/10/2020 15:44

Oh dear sorry didn't notice it is an old thread

Danisays · 06/10/2020 17:37

When I still had a positive pregnancy test the first appointment I could get to go back for a scan was 2 weeks away, I couldn’t wait that long and I went for a private scan in a health clinic near me. I just had to know what was going on

pcar3345 · 07/10/2020 14:34

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HANS2015 · 14/10/2020 14:06

I'm due to go back tommorow to discuss my options i really want to know how my baby is!! No1 seems to care just keep offering surgery when I want a scan!
I feel at a loose end with no1 to talk to.
I think I've read the whole of Google.
I really want to keep my baby I was so guilty in the first place now all this. Thankyou

pcar3345 · 18/10/2020 19:05

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HANS2015 · 18/10/2020 19:58

We are both fine I am 12 weeks and 4 days today still waiting to see a midwife and consultant its like im hitting a brick call midwife called back and said she will call me back so waiting for that had a scan before going for the surgical and I ended up refusing the surgical abortion . Thankyou being on here has helped loads x