Late term abortion

[Samsung98]

Feel so awful even posting this but I’m absolutely deverstated & don’t know what else to do Im 20 weeks pregnant & have just been dumped by my bf he says he wants to help raise the baby but not be with me I’m absolutely heartbroken we both have mental health problems I have anxiety & depression still PND with my 4 year old daughter from a previous relationship & do not really enjoy being a parent which makes me think how on earth will I cope with 2 being single!?! I have booked for a abortion next week but I can’t decide what to do to make things worse I have had to move back home 40 miles away from my bf which will make co parenting very difficult :( please help I know I’m a disgusting awful person for considering abortion or having another baby when I don’t even enjoy looking after my daughter

Perhaps have the baby and give it up for adoption. Give the baby a better life then you can give.

I agree, is adoption an option?

Horrible situation OP 🙁. I'm sorry you're going through this, as soon others have suggested, there could be other other options.
I hope you find a positive way forward.

I know I’m a disgusting awful person for considering abortion Absolutely not! You are an individual person and you need to think about what is right for yourself, not other people.
You have MH problems, and already have a daughter.

Having 2 young children on your own is not going to be easy.
A late term abortion is not going to be easy.
Going through a pregnancy and labour and then giving your baby up for adoption is also not going to be easy.

I think you need to discuss your options with a doctor/nurse and think about which options you can/can't live with and go from there.

Very tough decision OP but you need to do what is right for you and your existing child.

I have a feeling this thread is not going to go the way you'd hoped. An abortion at 20 weeks is highly controversial. I'm not judging you but I think others might. If they do, my advice is to walk away from the thread and 'Hide' it.
However if you want to PM me, I'm happy to chat to you. I've had a termination (at 9 weeks for serious medical reasons). I'm also a single parent to my 4yr old daughter x

I’m a disgusting awful person for considering abortion. No, you're not. You need to do what is best for you and your daughter. And don't let anyone tell you any different.

You will have to give birth to this baby at 20wks its too big for any other way. I think adoption is your only choice,with your mental health i think aborting this baby at this late stage will be so hard. Only u know whats best for u. Could any family member take the baby? Thats another choice for u.

Get counselling fast

I had a late termination but for foetal abnormalities so for her rather than me

It is not something I would ever ever go through again. You need to understand what is involved. You will have to endure an induced miscarriage as at that late stage a surgical termination is unlikely due to the risks involved.

Get counselling quickly.

Bless you OP as a mother of two children & separated from their father I'll tell you now it is hard! And I'm of sound mental health!

20 week abortion is highly controversial so you may get some negative posts on here, but I think you need to do whats right for YOU!

Be kind to yourself! You didn't plan on him walking away and leaving you potentially with 2 children! An abortion is available to you, it's not against the law and no one including your GP need know (unless you went through your GP) ... Just do what's right by you, not what you think others find right

I think before you do anything you should seek some counselling. I'd see your GP about possible depression and contact bpas for abortion counselling. Is your ex also the father of your four year old? If so, could he take her for a week or so while you get yourself into a better place emotionally?

You are not a disgusting awful person at all.

You need support OP.
Please visit your GP.

If abortion is what you choose then its not the wrong decision. There is no right or wrong only personal choice.

Please seek some support before you make any final decisions.

I'm incredibly pro choice but I think a 20 week abortion might be tough for your mental health the actually process would be quite grim as far as I know .but you're in no way wrong to want it.

I’m not sure how to reply as a whole but a few days after the dad said he would support me after initial saying he wanted me to get an abortion he has even offered to take the baby if I can’t cope he is a great dad to his daughter but he has worse mental health problems than I do which concerns me. I do have a supportive family but they think I should get the abortion since moving home I have no where to live I’ve been staying on my mums sofa went to the council but they would not help instead have taken temporary accommodation with my dad but it’s an old mobile home which won’t be very nice for my daughter & a baby ... I am in the process of re registering to a local gps to get help .. I am going to my 20 week scan this week to help make up my mind but have kept my abortion appointments open I have been told the procedure will involve general anaesthesia followed by surgical abortion the thought of it I am dreading :/ I have had to stop working due to my mental health so rely on my dad for financial support & I worry if I keep the baby I won’t get any help which will make co parenting very difficult because my bf does not drive so I would not be able to run my car to get there ... everything just feels so lonely & confusing I can’t eat I can’t sleep I’m just absolutely broken

Big unmumsnetty hugs to you, OP. Do you still have contact details for your daughter's health visitor?

Op, please go to your citizens advice and they can advise you on what you'd be entitled to. If you're homeless you'd almost certainly be entitled to emergency accommodation until the Council can find you something more permanent.

There is a way. Please don't give up hope. Hugs.x

And your family might think you should get an abortion now but I bet they would regret it as soon as baby was born. They'd love it to the moon and back.

Sorry OP, you said the Council wouldn't help. Can you explain why? Your a pregnant homeless single mum?! Did you make this clear?

And 'an old mobile home' is a roof over their head with loving family around. Children are resilient.

Sounds like you have a lot of stressful problems to deal with. A social worker might be the best person to help you work this all out and help you get the help you need, whatever your decision.

They offered me a half way house but didn’t allow children they just said because I have family in the area they will have to look after my daughter & baby they said also I would be low priority so could be looking at a 4 year wait for anything because of the area I live in nothings available even the half way house was no where near where I live now so I told them don’t worry as my dad offered me to trailer at this point :/ I just can’t think straight at all all I want to do is talk to my baby’s dad but he says he needs space to think it’s so hard not being able to talk to him at a time like this

Double check re surgical because was definitely told this was not an option open to me and I wasn't yet 20 weeks . I was told surgical was too high risk at late term. I'd double check your facts and get counselling fast because you need to be sure .

Agree with previous comment. I’m slightly dubious you can have a surgical termination at 20 weeks otherwise they would off let it to the mothers of stillborns which they don’t.

As others have said. A social worker will be able to help you work through this. There is always something that can be done. Even though it feels hopeless it rarely is. Wish you the best.

onemore abortions are legal in the UK up to 24 weeks so back off.

We're moving this over to pregnancy choices. , OP.