Abortion scan please please help desperate

[tryingtobestronger]

I went for a scan yesterday, assuming Id be having my abortion on Wednesday and Thursday of this week.

My lmp dates suggest im just over 7 weeks.

My scan showed I was around 5. They said I need to go back in two weeks time to redo the scan as they need to see a embryo and all they saw was a pregnancy sac (normal for 5 weeks).
I am so upset. Will I be over 9 weeks when I go back? Nurse said no- I will be around 7 weeks.
What date did your scan go by?
I'm really struggling, have no one to talk to and I'm so confused . Please someone help im begging you.

Oh no I don't mean any woman. I just meant myself. I feel a little better that I do feel some guilt x

Of course it's your choice, but having experienced both the medical (pills and bleeding) and surgical I'd recommend the surgical to a friend without a doubt.

I hadn't realised but the medical option isn't guaranteed to work, and didn't for me So it meant a whole day being in a hospital room alone heavily bleeding and cramping a lot from 8am to 10pm (by which time it was so late I had to stay overnight) and having to then have the surgery anyway.

I was nervous about the surgery but promise you it's absolutely nothing like having a csection or something. I had it at 9 am and was home by lunchtime, felt absolutely fine, no pain at all and fine to return to work the next day.

I promise I'm not trying to make you more anxious, but most hospitals seem to offer a choice and in my experience the surgery was the quickest, most painless option that meant less time spent in hospital.

That's another worry. That it won't work.
I've discussed this with the nurses and they've said that its so rare for it not to work. So much so that they don't even offer surgical in my hospital. And that in my case it will be straightforward and depending on what time I get a bed and am admitted I should be home that day.

I felt a bit better yeatersay. Getting extremely anxious now again

They have to tell you that it won't work to cover their arses. It's like the leaflet in tablets telling you about "possible side effects". It's so that on the rare chance that someone might suffer from what could be perceived as a side effect, they can't be sued.

I know it's uncomfortable to have to wait, but you need to try to stop focussing on all the possible worst case scenarios. There is more chance of nothing going wrong than there is of something going wrong.

Sometimes I feel like I can handle it. Excited even to get back to my old self.
Then next breath I am literally shitting myself.

Will say though the nurses are so so compassionate. I must be annoying them as I've called them up a few times, mainly through worry but also as I'm so co fused regarding dates, up to how many weeks they will do it etc. They've been really really lovely so far.

Hi Op,

I'm going for my consultation next week and hopefully having medical abortion next week i too suffer with anxiety and have been also googling like mad.

You can do this and once it's over you'll feel relieved that you done it. Especially if you really don't want to have a baby again. You won't be Annoying the nurses they will have had hundreds of patients similar to yourself it's part of their job!

I hope you're okay, just hope you know you're certainly not alone and Google is the devil

Hi advice. It's nice knowing there's someone going through the same. I hope hope hope it's not as bad as people say! How are you feeling

Not nice knowing that your going through the hell. Just comforting that I'm not alone x

You certainly need some counselling. Do you have a Family planning association or Brook or BPAS service or similar near you.

If you are being so vociferous with the hospital im surprised they have not referred you. Ask the hospital for help and advice of where to go for advice.

but you wont persuade them to do the procedure against their procedures and judgement.

Is two weeks too much if your'e not actually facing your husband. Good luck with it.

What do you mean not actually having my husband?

The nurse is actually letting me have my consultation with one of the nurses who is also a counsellor
I asked about bpas but they said they only refer if the pregnancy is over 16 weeks in my hospital.maybe they gave the resources to deal with it in my hospital, I don't know. So far they have been fantastic though

Facing sorry

Oh and I'm not being vociferous on the phone with them. Just very very upset and confused and worried. ( taking it as vociferous means demanding?) x

Your right though. I do need counselling after this.

Surely you can have the medical abortion pill now? That's suitable before 9 weeks. Why are they stalling?

They said they need to see a pregnancy(baby?) . The sac was there. I saw it myself. And they said what they need to see isn't there yet. I asked does that mean there is a problem and they said not at all and Stuff like this happens every week

You can have a pregnancy sac without a viable foetus in it, so that is presumably what they're waiting to check.

Yeah they need to ensure a foetus is actually growing before you can have an abortion.

Op have you reviewed the clinic where you're getting it done? I did last night (3am couldn't sleep) and you realise how often people go through this and puts you eat ease because obviously the doctors know what they're doing, although everyone that reviewed on mine had surgical :( I can't find many medical ones! I don't know how far I am though so I might have no choice but surgical.

I'm having it done at the my local nhs hospital. On my area they don't do surgical as there is no need. I thought it was up to 9 weeks but in fact they do it over that which was a shock.

How many weeks are you, do you think? X

I'm thinking around 7 and hoping it's not more as obviously by my appointment it will be pushing on

The BPAS website says you can have medical until around week 18 although after week 12 it might not work as well! X

It's such a stressful time isn't is
T advice the nurses seem like this is normal and they see it everyday so that at least is some comfort.

To the person who cemented after. Why be so horrible. Seriously. I've felt like ending it all, had panic attacks and extremely anxious and depressed . Why comment something so pointless and cruel?

In answer to your questions - it matters as clearly it's harder to wait. I've heard mentally and physically it's harder the more weeks you are. Not to mention confusing and frustrating when everything is dated differently.

How did I get pregnant? I really shouldn't have to answer that it's kind of obvious.

I didn't chose to be on this situation. It's been the hardest mostomliest time of my life. And thanks to the ladies on here, they've helped a tiny fraction. Please don't spoil that got me by making it worse

Unplanned pregnancy happens to people with husbands. It just so happens that our situation is harder, due to laws out of our control. It makes christmas and birthdays a sad occasion sometimes. Yes we are used to it but it doesn't make it easier. I need him everyday. You need to be strong to keep a relationship like this going. This situation has made me realise birthdays and Christmases are nothing compared to times like this.
Never the less, I love him . And no matter how I wish the situation was different, it isn't.

I had a surgical abortion at 13 weeks 5 years ago. The wait was the worst. I didn't find out I was pregnant until 7 weeks and the clinics in my area had a long waiting list. Honestly it was fine. Mentally it was terribly draining, physically other than cramps which I suffer from anyway, it was fine.

The situation that you are in is a difficult one due to your lack of support however honestly, do not Google the pro-life horror stories, they are not in any way a reflection of the real life situation.

The next few weeks will be difficult waiting but you need to be strong for your son. It will be over soon.