Abortion scan please please help desperate

[tryingtobestronger]

I went for a scan yesterday, assuming Id be having my abortion on Wednesday and Thursday of this week.

My lmp dates suggest im just over 7 weeks.

My scan showed I was around 5. They said I need to go back in two weeks time to redo the scan as they need to see a embryo and all they saw was a pregnancy sac (normal for 5 weeks).
I am so upset. Will I be over 9 weeks when I go back? Nurse said no- I will be around 7 weeks.
What date did your scan go by?
I'm really struggling, have no one to talk to and I'm so confused . Please someone help im begging you.

No.

They won't let you leave if you're in pain like this and if, IF, it happens after you're, back home you're advised to go to A&E.

Whatever you're reading, STOP now.

Just for everyone to know my son Is here imbed with me. I let him watch TV while I had melt down upstairs . I called Samaritans again. The lady didn't help as such but she listened and she will call back tomorrow.

My husband called me. After an argument we settled things, he apologised, I apologised. I know these next few weeks won't get easier, but I know he's finding it difficult too. Bottom line is that we love each other very much. Wether that makes this easier or harder I don't know.

I want to thank each and everyone of you again. This site is so valuable for people who are alone. And you don't realise until you are desperate.

I have had an abortion when I was young. And another similar procedure (EPRC) after a miscarriage. It's not painful at all compared to labour and birth.

Sweetheart, A LOT of the "information" available on the internet is bullshit propaganda by the pro-life movement. Please stop googling and reading. Phone Marie Stopes and ask to talk to some one about the process. And I second the suggestion about asking for counselling.

It is a medical procedure done by professionals. There is no way on earth they would leave you on the floor screaming.

The nurse suggested I stay in for the second part because of the anxiety I have about it, and because they recommend having support at home.

Is it really as bad as they make out. I wish u never ever typed abortion stories into Google . I'm never sick , so would be nervous going into hospital for anything. But I genuinely have never had anxiety like this , not even slightly. I don't know what is wrong with me. I think it's the stupid stories

Well, stop reading the stupid stories.

Gosh. There must be so many other women ( and even young teenagers) that read those stories. It's so upsetting that someone would go out of their way to scare other women like that. It's hard enough as it is without the added worry.

I reAlly really hope you guys are right and it's not too bad.

I was petrified. I had the tablets, went back for the second lot and I was home alone for it. Yes it was painful but I'm a wimp and I managed. Yes, I bled a lot but it was manageable
My friend had the opposite, virtually no bleeding and no pain
They gave me anti sickness tablets at the same time and painkillers

It's not anything like what you are reading! Honestly, it really isn't. Please listen to those who know and stop reading scaremongers stories. You will be physically fine and recover very quickly. Emotionally you need support, that is where you need to concentrate. I don't understand your reasons for abortion and visas etc but life is obviously terrifying right now. Please try and break things down in to tiny steps for your own well being.

STEP AWAY FROM GOOGLE NOW.

You are torturing yourself, you don't need to read stories you need to tell through your fears with professionals

Do you have a gp? Can you get an emergency appointment? PLEASE TRY.

Alternatively does the hospital you have been to, can you phone them and ask for an appointment asap to discuss what will happen?

YOU WILL NOT BE LEFT SCREAMING IN PAIN.

It sounds like you would benefit long term from some family planning advice.

Do you want to terminate this pregnancy. Forget for a moment about your husband, visa problems, cultural objections etc. What do you want? NO ONE on here will judge you either way, you will find support here but whatever you want to do please STOP TORTURING YOURSELF.

You WILL be fine. At this early stage it will be like a heavy period. If you are in pain you can have painkillers. I honestly have no idea what you are reading but it is frankly bollocks.

You are obviously very distressed about this but please try and get some perspective for the sake of you and your little boy. I hope I don't sound too harsh but please believe me when I say you will be ok. You need to calm down, be patient and be as normal as possible for your son. This will be over soon- you need to trust in the medical professionals and get yourself some support.

I opted for surgical as medical just wasn't for me. The sedation kicked in very quickly so I knew nothing about it and I was in and out in a matter of hours. I had some cramping in the subsequent days but nothing more than period type pains. Although I had a wait too until it was viable it was all over & done with quickly and with little fuss or discomfort

Hi OP,

Sorry you're feeling so upset and worried. It's not nice to be in limbo these 2 weeks, but it will soon be over and you can start to move on.

I've had experience of both the medical abortion (with pills to bleed it out) and the ERPC for missed miscarriage. Have you been offered a choice of the 2 procedures? If do, I'd really recommend the surgical ERPC, as the pills unfortunately didn't work for me.

The surgery was not at all painful I promise, I was back at work the next day.

Hope you feel better soon.

Surgical frightens me even more

OP how was the birth of your son? Was it traumatic? Is that triggering your fear now? I've been in labour and I've been with a friend post-abortion. She was in pain, but like a bad period pain, certainly not screaming in agony. Nothing like labour pain. She took some pain killers and went to bed, and slept. She said she felt a bit uncomfortable for a day or two, but was otherwise fine, aside from being very sad. Has someone told you that it is agony? I second what I said earlier. Please make sure in yourself that you aren't actually panicking because deep down you don't want an abortion but can't see any other way. Then it would be a mistake to go ahead. As a pp said, no-one here will judge you either way, but try and be clear about what you are feeling. Use the next week to try and get support, and to come to a clear decision about what is right for you. Out of my close friends, three have had abortions, and they all got through the procedure really well. It isn't an easy thing for anyone to go through, but it is common, and the medical teams would make sure you are properly cared for and not in terrible pain.

There really isn't anything to be scared of. It's incredibly straight forward, and while they talk about sedation, your definitely asleep. You just come round faster and can go home sooner. It is a personal decision though. It was right for me but I understand not for everybody. I just don't want you to be scared uneccesarily.

The pregnancy was awful. Extremely high risk of still birth. I was petrified to give birth naturally. They eventually needed to induce me and I said I was petrified of labour and vaginal birth. My consultant saw how anxious I was, decided that as baby was odem anyway and the induction was likely to take a while, he gave me a planned c section next morning.
Thinking about it is making me feel nervous. I'm afraid I'll never have another baby again, even at the right time. As this medical and hospital stuff just doesn't agree with me

Pregnancy was fine until 26 weeks when it all went wrong. It was a constant time of hospital trips, bloods scans. Then he was in intensive care and scbu.

That was the first and only time I've had any interaction with hospitals in my life .

Oh, and to address your confusion re dates... Pregnancies are traditionally dated by lmp with a presumption that everyone has a 28 day cycle and ovulate on day 14.

That obviously isn't the case for lots of us. So, when you normally 'book in' you are asked your usual cycle length and an adjustment may be made immediately. Most of the time, however, medical staff rely on the 12 week 'dating' scan to give a more accurate idea of your actual pregnant/gestation dates.

In your case, if you know you ovulate late and you know when you last had sex, chances are you can adjust your lmp yourself. This might give you a similar 5 week pregnancy date. Pregnancy is always recorded as starting 2 weeks before conception. Does that make sense?

So your scan showed a normal sac for a 5 week gestation which sounds like it matches your conception/ovulation dates. Do remember that the day of sex isn't necessarily the day if conception - that can be 3-5 days later in some cases. Sperm just hangs around sometimes.

On the other hand, if you know your cycle snd ovulation dates and you know you should be further along then it is possible this pregnancy isn't developing as it should, hence the date confusion. This is why she said you may bleed sooner - because you may miscarry.

Either way, you will be 7 weeks pregnant or less at the next scan.

I promise you that will be nothing like labour. Nothing at all.

So as I suspected you had a very traumatic time with the birth of your son. I think that is a huge part of this, it is partly why you are panicking about the pregnancy, while also panicking about the abortion- lots of conflicting feelings . Please try and get to talk this through with someone before you have the procedure. I know from friends that the ones who were really certain that a termination was the right choice for them at the time, coped with the whole experience pretty well, but the friend who was conflicted, and who half wanted the baby but had no support, had a much harder time coming to terms with what happened, and with hindsight regretted having gone through with it. No two pregnancies are the same, if you do ever want another child then the pregnancy won't be as it was with your son, partly because you are not the same- you've been through a pregnancy and birth. I am worried that you are making an irreversible decision out of fear and panic, which is never a good thing. You need to talk it through properly, including your trauma from your pregnancy wth your son, before making the step to end the pregnancy. Then if you do choose abortion, you will know it was a choice that you had properly thought through and was the right thing for you. It is a big decision, and I have seen the emotional damage done to someone who made that choice in a panic, and for the wrong reasons, versus the normal sadness but acceptance, of women who made the choice out of certainty that it was the right thing for them at the time. I am absolutely not trying to influence your choice, no-one but you can make it, but I am concerned that the level of panic you are experiencing isn't a good place to be to make a huge, irreversible decision of any kind.

I am positive I don't want the baby. I can't do this on my own. Actually I could. anyone could. But I don't want to. I don't want to have a baby rely on me, without his dad around. My son and manage well, a baby would put a stop to lots of things we do. I wouldn't be able to work for a few years. I don't want to have to sacrifice the things I do with my son for another baby. That sounds selfish, but I want him to be my priority. There's no sign of my husband being here , and until that changes, I don't want another baby.

The pregnancy of my son may be a good point.

Today, one min I'm stressed obviously, but thinking its two days since they told me to come back on two weeks. Time is moving slowly, but it is moving and soon it will be over.

Seconds later I'm panicking inside, will it ever be over. Will they keep sending me away.

The doctor can't see me until next Monday.

I'm exhausted with it all.

I have planned a day out tomorrow with my boy. I don't think I will feel up to it at first but once I'm out I guess I will feel better.
Plus it will make the day go quicker.

I planned to do something special with him next week- now I'm dreading it, but we will still go x

I don't think you sound selfish personally. The reasons you cite were all factors for us. My husband and I are older, 45 and 55 respectively and we already had our daughter late. Of course there are lots of age based and health arguments, but for us it was about the quality of our life and not wanting to start again or have to do less with our daughter. I may get shot down but I think you are entitled to your rationale and that you shouldn't berate yourself for it. I also think doing stuff with your son is the right thing, it will hopefully help you stop obsessing, make the time go faster and help you focus on what is important to you

Thank you.

There is a sense of guilt I think. I'm kind of glad too otherwise I think I'd be heartless.

Another day down.

I don't think any woman that doesn't felt guilt is heartless. Different women react differently and all/every emotion is perfectly acceptable.