Abortion scan please please help desperate

[tryingtobestronger]

I went for a scan yesterday, assuming Id be having my abortion on Wednesday and Thursday of this week.

My lmp dates suggest im just over 7 weeks.

My scan showed I was around 5. They said I need to go back in two weeks time to redo the scan as they need to see a embryo and all they saw was a pregnancy sac (normal for 5 weeks).
I am so upset. Will I be over 9 weeks when I go back? Nurse said no- I will be around 7 weeks.
What date did your scan go by?
I'm really struggling, have no one to talk to and I'm so confused . Please someone help im begging you.

Yeah I'm scared I've barely slept because of it , but I'm more scared about continuing with the pregnancy.

If I say I'm that panicked I don't know maybe they would think I'm not looking after him these past few weeks. And I am. He's my priority. I'm hiding my crying. I've taken him out. He's been out playing with his friends. Got him some new goldfish.
He knows something is up but he's as happy as ever and as well looked after as ever.
They may get the wrong idea if I say I feel like running away

What are you scared of exactly advice. Same as me?

No friends . His grandparents can help sometimes but they ask questions. I don't want to disappoint them more

Tell grandparents you have UTI or something? They don't need to know X

I'm scared that I'm further along that 9-10 weeks or that something with go wrong I know the chances are very very low but I've always been that person! Take your son the GP with you they will be discreet, if not I think you need to contact a clinic that can provide pre abortion counselling.

Where you live do they have a listening ear you can call?

I was scared of that too. Being really far gone . I wasn't though it was all in my head . Maybe everything is just in my head.
The nurses have said it's no big deal they do it everyday. If the pregnancy doesn't pass, because I will be in hospital they can just give me more pills till I do. That no one is rolling around on the floor in agony. That it can't be that bad as they allow people to go home if there is someone there to support them.

I was scared of that too. Being really far gone . I wasn't though it was all in my head . Maybe everything is just in my head.
The nurses have said it's no big deal they do it everyday. If the pregnancy doesn't pass, because I will be in hospital they can just give me more pills till I do. That no one is rolling around on the floor in agony. That it can't be that bad as they allow people to go home if there is someone there to support them.

Yeah lots of people do go home, I've been told by BPAS if I'm less than 10 weeks I can go have my scan have bloods get my tablets and be home all within 3 hours!

I gave birth without using any pain relief - i was induced and having back to back contractions for 3 days so I need to remind myself it can't be that bad! You've had a C section which is definitely scarier you can do this :)

My DD had one on Thursday, she was 8+5, we were both worried she would be further along. She had cramping for about an hour a couple of hours after the tablets and after she had passed the tissue she was ok. Bit crampy and achy today.
She went to marie Stopes.
All the best op, it is a very worrying time. DD had to wait about 10 days after she found out and it's been horrible so it's no wonder you are feeling the way you are.
All the best wishes for you x

Glad that you dd is ok and it's all over for her now. Gives me some hope

And how lovely that she could tell you and you went with her

Thankyou trying I didn't go, she sorted it all with her bf. But I would have if she wanted me too. She's back to the girl I know now it's done. As with you it's the waiting even tho you know you are doing the right thing that seemed to be the hardest part.
Have been reading your thread from the start as it came at the right time for me, (hope that doesn't sound selfish) and I genuinely feel for you.

That's great she has support. I think that's what I'm missing to be honest. It's sad, as even though I don't want the pregnancy, it's something me and my husband made. And when I saw the pregnancy sac, I thought it was the most beautiful sac Id ever seen not that Id ever seen one before.
The timing is not right . It's a decision I have to make so I feel like I can't be sad about what I'm doing. Focusing all my energy on being scared instead it seems!

I didn't want DD's pregnancy to proceed any more than they did but it would have been my grandchild. I feel sad about that even tho I don't want to be a granny!
You have support here, it's not ideal but there are people here for you.
I looked at DD's scan pics, I don't feel sad because it was absolutely the right thing to do but really it's all a bit shit isn't it to be honest.
My DD is fine and you will be too.

Thank u for replying to my post

No. thank you. I think you've been more help to me without realising it.

Doctor said I will be seeing a counsellor pre abortion so I have to wait for that

Oh and brown discharge seemed to have stopped. Boobs still sore. Emotionally feeling numb

Trying to relax in bed with a hot chocolate watching gymnastics with my ds

I had an abortion ten years ago. I was only twenty and my daughter wasnt a year old yet. I was on the pill. Found out I was five weeks pregnant and then found out the next day my boyfriend had been cheating for months.

I had to wait seven weeks for my appointment!! Seven weeks of hyperemisis and being sick up to thirty times a day and not being able to move much without being sick and trying to look after my daughter and dealing with the aftermath of finding out about the cheating. I felt the lowest I ever felt in my life and the only reason I never did anything was because of my daughter. No one else knew except my boyfriend. So I felt very,.very lonely as we werent speaking. I hated him. I can completely sympathise with how you feel.

As soon as it was done I felt sheer relief and actually smiled for the first time in a long time. things will get better..It will be okay!

That sounds like a terrible time. I'm so glad you managed to over come it.
It's horrible when you have no one to talk to about it isn't it.
I just came here to say I was having a hot chocolate. How sad am I!

What abortion did you go for? Seven weeks to wait sounds horrendous especially with the sickness

I don't have experience of abortion to share trying, but I do have experience of anxiety, brought on by problems I was having at work. It was huge and overwhelming and dark, I felt like I couldn't cope and I was useless and that awful things would happen and be my fault. I felt so alone and I thought about hurting myself. Eventually I was able to go to my gp for help. I called first thing and asked for an emergency appointment, the doctor phoned my back within an hour and spoke to me for ages on the phone, listening to me and telling me that it was going to be ok. He booked me in for a double appointment the next day, and referred me to counselling, who did a phone session with me the next day. They all took me completely seriously.

I got a prescription which really helped, and I've had about 9 weeks now of face to face counselling, and I'm feeling much, much better. As my doctor said, sometimes life puts you in an environment that's not good for your health and you need help. Whether you live somewhere damp and you get asthma, or whether something stressful happens and you get anxious, it's all the same. It doesn't make you crazy or mean the rest of your life will be like this, it just means right now you need a bit of support. They know this stuff inside out, and they know how to help.

And perhaps the most important thing: they WILL NOT try to take your son away from you. They will see that even though you're struggling, you're doing a wonderful job for him, and taking him away would be much worse for him than helping you to be healthy. They wouldn't take him away if you broke your leg, so they won't take him away for this. So please do speak to the GP about getting support for anxiety because your whole situation sounds really difficult

I guess that they are blaming the abortion on the anxiety. When maybe that is right! I've never felt like this before. I mean I have moments where my relationship gets on top of me. But after an hour it's ok.

I keep looking at my stomach thinking of how much pain I'll put myself in. And when I go for a wee o think 'soon blood will be pouring out'.

Last night I had a dream I was having a bath after Id taken the pills and the fetus passed. I scooped it out of the water, and placed it on the sink. It was tiny with stubby little arms but it had my husbands pretty curly eyelashes. I woke up breathing rapidly. Was dreadful. Then I went back to sleep and dreamt man in a skin tight faceless bunny suit was scaring me in a dark room .
I hope I don't dream tonight.