Antenatal support thread for women who have chosen to terminate 7

[mrsbigz]

May this thread continue to offer support and friendship to all who have found ourselves knocking at its door. May the door stay firmly wedged open - to be a comfort to those who have recently lost a little one, and welcoming back those who have longer memories of their loss. May the tea always be brewing and the millionaire shortbreads always freshly baked.

And may our all little ones find each other in a magical place, where they can run, laugh and play together with no boundaries

The stress that everyone on here has been through and the desperation we all feel to be healthily pg again can't help with conception.
I so wished I would get pg again quickly but that doesn't look likely. The more I obsess over it the worse it is going to get.
Hi angelava- the weather is RUBBISH!
Xx

Just dropping in to say hello to everyone and hope you are all ok. It's been a while since I've posted here but I lurk and think of you all.

Flower - I'm sorry you're feeling low. Have you had any contact with your GP about fertility issues? I spoke to my GP last year (before I got pregnant with my lost baby girl) about fertility. It was just unfounded worries due to being a bit older, we hadn't been trying long and had no cause for concern but nonetheless she arranged for me to have a blood test just to make sure I was ovulating. Perhaps you could have the same and put down a marker at this stage so that you can access further testing if you need it. You have been pregnant and you can be again so dont lose faith. I really hope it happens soon.

And of course to everyone else TTC. I hope it happens for you all soon too. Has anyone tried pre seed or conceive plus - I've heard good things about them. Anyway, It's lovely seeing MyAngelAva and MrsBigz on the other thread - I hope to see you all there soon!

Another rainy day up here today - hope it's better where you are!

Love, Cherry x

Good afternoon ladies
Sorry been AWOL just been busy plus was away last week.
Now back at work, been very hard due to being seated near preggers lady who is still smoking & eating crap.... Deep breathes required. She is due October but leaving late September on mat leave.
Come home the past couple of days with bad headaches - had to have a lay down, guessing it is the stress causing it.
Sorry not read all the posts just yet, but think there are congrats required :)
AF came & slapped me last week good & proper :(
Started my poas again this morning with my monitor taking charge :)
Off to a yoga type class tonite with a friend to help me relax. She is a trained reflexology person so trying to get her to do my feets
Take care ladies
Smile
X x

Flower, sorry you're feeling so low. I agree that it's worth speaking to your GP about how you're feeling. I had a good chat with mine yesterday. She is very straight talking and made me feel a bit better about not coping too well at the moment. She said 12 weeks is no time at all and everything was still extremely raw and it was one of the most difficult things a person ever had to deal with so not to beat myself up.

Stunned, that's a tricky one isn't it? It seems very very unfair. I hope the yoga works for you. I'm thinking of trying that too. I did it years ago and still use some of the breathing I learnt when I'm under pressure, so I think it might be useful to go back.

Hi Cherry, I have only read advice not to use these lubricants, e.g.
www.fertilityfriend.com/Faqs/Lubricants.html

Back from holidays, weather utterly vile, but washing done and everything unpacked. I'm embarking on a bit of a healthy eating / exercise regime now as I feel very unfit. I think yoga and swimming will be on the list. I've got a job interview next week and if I got that it would get me back cycling again as that's the best way to commute for me.

Hope everybody is ok.
x

Hello everyone
Sorry to jump in at the deep end and post straight on here without really reading through. I hope to offer support to others at a later date but at the moment I am really in a bit of a state to be honest. I have a quick question and I'm wondering if you can help me?

My termination due to severe fetal abnormalities was on Sunday. I was 14 weeks and had a medical termination at the hospital. Today I am still passing clots, they are very stringy and a but mucousy (sorry!). I am getting mild pains just before I pass them sometimes but not bad at all, I don't even need paracetamol.
Does this sound normal to all you ladies who have been through this? I m not sure if it is but the ward said to ring them if the bleeding is very heavy and I'm in a lot of pain, which I'm not. I am just freaking out a bit about having to go back in, especially as I have childcare sorted for this week but not for next week. Should I ring them or does this sound normal to you?

thank you

Hi Cat, really sorry for your loss but glad that you find yourself here. I did have a uterine infection after my termination due to retained placental material and my symptoms were significant stomach pains and feeling very generally unwell, I was taking tramadol and voltarol. What you're experiencing sounds totally normal to me. The key things to look out for are a temperature and pains (although I didn't have a temp but am a bit weird like that.)
If you're worrying ring the hospital anyway, that's what they're there for.

Hi Cat,
I had surgical management so can't help. I was paranoid about infection after mine so took metronidazole and cephalosporin for 3 weeks! If you have any pain, smelly discharge, temperature I'd go back. I would also make a GP appt just for a chat about it all and they can check you as well.
How are you holding up? It was a very rough time but it does get better. I've had lots of wobbles, several major ones but I'm back at work and don't cry every day.
Lots of hugs
Xxx

Sending flower a great big hug (((((((( flower)))))))) oh and a hug for anyone else that needs one (((((((everyone)))))))
I lost Amelia on 13/05/11 just over a couple of months although knew about 10 days before that there was something up - still having bad days - tears/ anger/ headaches/ feeling lost & useless to name a few feelings.
Still early days & know that old saying time is a healer is true but at times feel like punching the lights out on next person that says it to me. Have counselling session next Tuesday so hoping that helps.
Cat - you need to speak to you dr or call NHS direct who can advise. I had clots after a D&C & end up back in for a few days with infection & pain so you need to get something looked into sooner rather than later
Hiya Egg sorry the holiday was a bit wet & good luck re the healthy eating - trying to do that as well :)
Cherry I was advised to drink lots of water to help with ewcm & grapefruit juice. Pre seed makes times too wet iykwim...
When I found I was expecting Amelia we were not tic - just relaxed & hoping to do same again.
Had a couple of reading with mediums who have said yes I will have a baby to have & hold on the earth so trying not to stress...
Take care ladies
X x

Hi everyone

Have now caught up with the thread and huge pile of washing!

congratulations mrsbigz!

Cat sorry you find yourself here, big hugs xx

Thank you for all the hugs and advice. Think I have spent too much time on the internet reading age related doom scare stories. We said if we were not successful this cycle we would see gp, now have an appointment next week. Have used pre-seed and last few cycles have been on the grapefruit juice.

Myangelava I have been worried i have pcos, had blood tests 2 years ago that were in normal range, but doctor could not conclusively say if i did or didnt, I have some of the symptoms and it niggles away at me. Hopefully I can get tested and get some answers.

Stunned hope you find the yoga relaxing, I got a yoga dvd at christmas and find the breathing exercises helpful.

love to everyone xx

Hi ladies

Ever so quick i'm afraid ..

Cat - hi love, glad you found your way here xxx I had a surgical term. and had very little pain on the day or afterwards. The bleeding i experienced was like a heavy period. No worse. I was told to be alert for unpleasent smells or strange coloured discharge (!?), or alot of pain. I dont think i passed clots.

If you're at all worried please go and get a check up on things. Like egglet said its best not to let these things go while you 'wait and see'. Were you given antibiotics? I was given a weeks course with me when i left the hospital.

I send you all my best vibes for getting through this hun - mentaly and phisically. We're always about, here, for a chat or a rant. Take care, and i hope the clotting stops and you're all ok soon.

• i'll post a longer one when i can

xx

Hi Cat, again I'm sorry that you've found yourself here but I hope that we can all be of some help. this really is the hardest time and it will get better. I terminated in Jan and I am pregnant again and I still have my really down days/ moments. But it is better and you will get through it. Re the bleeding, I think you need to keep an eye on the size of the clots and obviously any smells, strange colours and your temp. If you are concerned then I think you should have a chat with your GP as soon as possible to either put your mind at rest or nip any infection in the bud. That's the last thing you need.

Flower, I had a blood test and u/s scans to diagnose my PCOS. It was back in 2004 when I was only about 26 and hadn't really considered babies so can't recall much of the details but I know that there are different severities and symptoms. It's worth having the tests if you think you may be affected- since I was diagnosed I've since met lots of people who have it, some of which have had fertility treatment and some not.

Egglet, I've sent you an email but its nice to have you back- even if it is so rainy here too! Good luck with the job interview- that'll help with conception anyway! Murphy's law is it?!

Everyone else, hello and hope you are well. Must GP and have lunch before I pass out/ start eating my own arm! X

cat, i went under for mine, but i did bleed for 4 weeks after, mine was mostly brown and stringy, not like my normal period. and when i think it was over, another little bit came out.
now my good news my bloods came back low risk, 1:3600 for downs 1:10000 for edwards. very good as last time 1:25 for downs and 1:5 for edwards

Afternoon ladies
How are we doing n this sunny sunday?....
All ok here finally got a peak on my cbfm this morning so looks like hubbys luck is in :)
Been back at work, not too bad bu feels like not been away as there isn't much changed except the date :(
They have put the preggers lady who is still smoking, drinking, eating crap nearer me & in her job role I have to speak to her more. TBI & I know it sounds bitchy but she just looks overweight not preggers - she is due is September so not too long fo her to be working.
Got my first counselling session on Tuesday at 1200hrs - know there will be tears. Then on Sunday at 1400hrs we have a memorial service for Amelia May at the local hospital. Still no news from the post mortuim yet either :( & no funneral service.
Just want to move on now, need to get on with our lives. We will never forget her, never ever.
Take care out there ladies
X x

stunned can i ask , for your life story as i don't know what has happened with amelia. i have been sooo wrapped up with myself i don't know everyones lifes

Good afternoon ladies
Sent you a low lights message Gillian as didn't wish to repost it all here again :(
No too bad today, increased hours this week at work from last week so feeling more like not been away
Hope everyone is ok
X x

Hi everyone!

The thread's so quiet lately! Lets hope thats because all you lovely ladies are coping ok at the mo? FX

Lets have an update from you all! How are you all? Egglet and MrsB - i know you're both fine xxx Stunned i believe you had your first councelling today - was it helpfull? I do hope so

Cinamon is doing fine, btw. She lurks on FF charting and obsessing nicely with me and 2 or 3 other MNers.

I'm ashamed to say that i havnt been posting as i'm rather unable to think of anything much exept ttc at the mo and could easily bore for England on the subject. Currently i have just ovulated and am at the 'bitting the nails to the elbow' stage of my cycle. Again. sigh.

Had a major wobble 2 nights ago when i just lay in bed sobbing. Poor OH didnt know what to say to make it better Do not know where it all came from .... spent the whole weekend tearful, but am better today. Hormones? Who knows .....

Aaaanyway - come on girls - how'y doing?

Love and hugs all round xxx

Hiya misty thought you all gone & left me sniffle...
I am in the dreaded 2ww now so will wait & see got too good peaks on the cbfm so I was pleased & hubby thought it was Xmas early as was BD every other night when highs but three days in row for peaks iykwim
Had outselling today = tears.. Didn't expect much else tbh, came home with headache & had a nap with one of the kittens laying on me & feel better now.
Went to body balance tonight so ready for bed now. Though there is still too much body to balance at the moment lol.
Say hiya to cinnamon for me - not sure if I have seen her on baby centre posting though.
Sending you great big hugs misty - you been through lots, a few tears now & then are good for us.
We have a memorial service for Amelia on Sunday Q more tears...
Take care ladies
X x

Hi there,
We have made the decision to have this month (2ww now) and next month on clomid. Then have a month off in September for our holiday to San Francisco and California Coast. Then start ICSI with array cgh (aneuploidy screening) in October/ November. Actually quite excited as well as nervous.
Had a weekend away with 21 adults, 13 kids age 7- 8 weeks this weekend.
It was hard but I coped much better than I thought I would. Mainly cos everyone was very sensitive to us (most people know that we had a mc). Not like my insensitive receptionist!
Hope you are all ok

Hello all.

Stunned, I cried all the way through most of my counselling sessions, I think they expect that. It is very tiring though, in fact one thing I have learned through all this is that grief is exhausting.

Hi Blacktreacle, good luck with the clomid of course. Your holiday sounds great, whereabouts are you going on the coast? We went there a few years ago and it was marvellous. Glad you coped with you weekend away. I think it's usually better if people know what's happened as then they won't generally say insensitive things (although there's always something).

I'm fine, i.e. wobbly as ever and not really helped by just failing to get the job I went for, but never mind. Also, fixated on ttc and not wanting to bore people about it over here.

Love to everyone.
x

Evening xx

Stunned - thanx for the hugs it is easy to forget how recently we were emotionally in pieces, and that major wobbles can be expected. I'm glad you felt you 'expelled' some stress and grief at your first session this week ... I always get a thumper of a headache after a good cry too. Sobbing sessions are usually followed with a big wobbly sigh and a grumpy "I've got a bloody headache now!" Will be thinking of you this Sunday for Amelia's service - anothr milestone to get through. Although most ladies who have had services for their babies have reported afterwards that although there were tears, there was also a sense of peace afterwards too. Everything crossed for your 2ww .... babydust! (sorry Egglet - thats twice in one day! ha ha)

blacktreacle - hi xx Yes, good luck for the clomid! That holls coming up sounds wonderful. And im glad you had a good weekend away and were treated with sensitivity - as eglett says, that is the upside of everyone 'knowing'. babydust for you too hun xx I dont care - i'm chucking it ALL around now! lol, gone a bit bonkers i think ...... ttc is baaaad for mental stability.

egglet - hi mrs!

On a sad note Ive now had written conformation from the hospital that they have officialy lost the autopsy report on my baby so after all that agonising over how much to know over and above T21 - i now know nothing more and never will. I have a gut feeling it was a little boy - but i dont say anything like that to OH as he's very fragile about the details. I know baby had problems with the heart too, and would've liked to know more. I just havnt the emotional resources to get angry about it. I just feel defeated and deflated.

On a happy note if AF does arrive this month its ending should coinside wiht OH and i flying off to Tunisia for a bit of sunshine - so im hoping that will keep my spirits up.

Hugs to all - reading and lurking - specialy to any ladies finding themselves newly in distress xxx

Hi all, just stopping by as haven't been here for ages, but have lurked.

Misty, that's crap that the hospital lost the post-mortem results. I can see why you feel deflated as there's just nothing you can do about it. I hope you can jet off to Tunisia with a shiny BFP.

Egg, I agree that grief is very tiring. Actually I found the whole two terminations very tiring, like they sucked the life out of me. Focusing on ttc again was what kept me sane after both terminations. It was the only way I could move on, which isn't very healthy, but there you go. Sorry about the job, too. And for you, as well, I hope the positive test is just around the corner.

(Am I missing something with the babydust fetish?!)

Hi Stunned and Blacktreaclecat and Flower, and everyone else I've failed to mention. Stunned, I know you've been through the mill completely. Having to face pregnant people at close range is so so hard. Good luck with the memorial service. I cried through both of mine but did feel a sort of peace afterwards. Blackcat, good luck with the clomid and the trip! Flower, cremeegg, everyone else, hope you are all okay.

hi ladies,

i just wanted to pop my head in and say i'm sorry i've been a bit awol recently. i'm in a bit of a strange place at the moment - completely petrified is most probably an understatement!! and as such i'm kind of in a no mans land at the moment. i don't feel comfortable (no offence meant at all) posting here about all of the worries i'm experiencing since getting my bfp. i know you're all happy for me, but it doesn't feel the right place to go into it too much, especially as i know there are some with more recent losses where things are still very raw. and i don't feel ready to completely immerse myself in the sister thread as that makes it real - and i'm all too aware that anything can happen / go wrong. so that's where i've been.

Blacktreacle - i'm glad to hear that you have got a plan of action for the coming months, and your planned holiday sounds absolutely amazing!!!

Misty - i've said it on FF but i'm sorry you had your wobble the other day - it still surprises me how the emotion can suddenly creep up and catch you unawares.

Egglet, i'm sorry your job - you obviously were too good for them!!

Stunned, i'm glad that moany smoking pregnant woman will be leaving work soon - i couldn't imagine having to sit next to that every day??! I hope that Amelia's service goes peacefully for you on sunday. Eve's service, while incredibly sad was also very good for dh and i - it was like we gained some peace from it and were able to move on a little bit more.

Can't - thanks for checking in on us, it's lovely to hear from you.

afm - not much to report, except like misty i had a wobble the other day. went to a family christening, and the combination of being in a church / babies and pregnant women everywhere / lack of dh (he was working) and i was a blubbering mess. yep, still catching me out unaware too!

anyway, must go, i'm sorry i've not said hello to everyone. had a ridiculously hectic day at work and not long sat down. i'll speak to you all soon xxxxx

Hi everyone,

Cant nice to hear from you x

Misty I hope you are feeling better and its good that you have holiday to look forward to- sunshine and relaxation!

blacktreacle good luck with the clomid, sprinkling lots of babydust for us all.

Stunned thinking of you, hope sunday goes peacefully for you.

Mrsb good to hear from you xx

We had our doctors appointment today she was very understanding and refered us for tests, my blood is going to be tested for about 10 different things! and dh gets to have his sperm analysied, she has reasured us that we do qualify for nhs treatment. So now at least we are doing all we can.

Yes, hope Sunday goes as well as it can Stunned.

Flower, I think that's a really positive step forward. Fingers crossed it helps you towards your goal. We got pregnant the first time just before my husband was due to have his sperm tested (I think the fear perhaps spurred him on!)

Misty and MrsB - I'm not ignoring you but have already wittered at you on ff. I will say though - you know how we have debated which thread is for whom and perhaps you've uncovered a new category - 'People who are pregnant but don't yet believe it'? Perhaps after your scan you'll feel more comfortable 'graduating'!

Anyway, off to prowl about the other threads and see what's going on.
x

just a quickie - Stunned just wanted to say i hope that today went ok, i was thinking about you xxxxx