Antenatal support thread for women who have chosen to terminate 7

[mrsbigz]

May this thread continue to offer support and friendship to all who have found ourselves knocking at its door. May the door stay firmly wedged open - to be a comfort to those who have recently lost a little one, and welcoming back those who have longer memories of their loss. May the tea always be brewing and the millionaire shortbreads always freshly baked.

And may our all little ones find each other in a magical place, where they can run, laugh and play together with no boundaries

Hey folks

sorry for the silence - been struggling to keep up with the boards here and FF and as a result not actually managing to post anywhere!

Main news from me is that I had my appointment at the repeat miscarriage clinic yesterday so it's good to get everything in process. We have tests in a few weeks and then results back on the 11th Aug. Not supposed to be TTC between then and now - so slightly hoping that all the activity last weekend and the beginning of this week didn't result in anything... Although it would be lovely if it did... does that make sense?!?

Misty you are a massive filthy hippy! I'll not comment any further.

knitter glad you've got the repeat mc investigations underway (but yes, can understand your dilemma).

blacktreacle boo to AF.

Counselling was ok, I didn't even cry that much today. I think it is fairly useful as I still can't bring myself to go to local playgroups and fear meeting someone unexpectedly and having to explain what happened.

Anyway, must sneak another cup of tea in before nap time is over.
x

hmmm - so misty - next time i see you we are going bra shopping and having my tarot cards read.....si?

He he - egglet i could have predicted that from you

mrsB - tell her i'm not dirty would you? lol

xx

Ok I retract the 'dirty'.

(My new hobby is following you round the internet being rude to you!)

misty = definitely not dirty....not from what i've seen of her! looks quite fab actually - puts me to shame

egglet - glad counselling went ok and hope you managed to get that extra cuppa in. i'm going to be hitting the wine tonight i think!!!

blacktreacle - sorry to hear that af sounds imminent. if it's any consolation i'll be joining you very shortly

right, off out for a cheapy pub meal with my mum, my kids and THAT aunty (remember her from a few pages back????) - haven't seen her since the hoohaa so will let you all know how it goes.....

xxxxxx

I bet she's very well groomed really. I look like a scarecrow so I really shouldn't be insulting anyone from behind my screen.

Hope you have a good meal and the unpleasantness with your aunt has gone. Let us know anyway!

I shall open the wine in exactly 45 mins...

Oooh mrsB - THAT Auntie! Good luck. Your mum'll be there with you this time so the aunt cant speak for her if you're all sat there together ay? I'm still in positive spirits for you this month It aint over till the fat witchy bitch lady sings! THANK YOU btw for saying i look fab! You look bloody fab too!

egglet - Follow me anywhere petal, you make me LMAO God i'd love a drink tonight. A large JD and ginger. Or 5. Easy on the ginger. No ice. With a short straw. And a good film to watch. sigh. Im going to have a drink on holiday...... thought at one point i might be all puritanical and stay off the slosh while away and ttc. OH would drink either way. But i'm going to darn well enjoy myself. So long since i've had a drink (beginning Jan) i'll take one whiff, go all squiffy and have to be carried back to the room! lol

flower - are you testing tomorrow hun? Good luck ladies

xx

hiya not been around for a while, if anyone remembers me i had a abortion on 2nd march as my baby had edwards and its guts all out of tummy, so not only was hit by a 1 :10000 for the tummy but also the 30% from chromos' ie edwards, 12 week scan picked it up due to the tummy bit, was put to sleep as i was b4 13 weeks due to size, and also have a grave due to being over 12 weeks, now my new news, well after abortion in march had a monthly in april but not in may so did a test NEG june came so did a test POS so now just booked a booking in but dont no if i am 9 or 5 weeks , wont no until scan, so due jan or feb at the moment, also i have 2 boys 6 and 3

misty I now have a picture in my head of you dancing round garden
Not testing tomorrow, have to work and want to leave it a bit longer today is cd28, I'm usualy 30-34day cycles.

Mrsb hope this evening went ok.

Hi to everyone, hope you have good weekend xx

Morning ladies, very quick one!

How is everyone?

Hi gillian, nice to see you again and big congrats

Boobs hurting, tum hurting and spotting this morning im afraid, so i think i'm out this month!

Oh well - tomorrow'll be day one again ......

Going to a big 'do' in clingy outfit tonight tho', for one of OH's cousins getting engaged. My tum feels bloated, i feel like i look like sh** and im not in the mood for socialising. Also i may come on fully in the middle of everything! Fabulous.

Onwards and upwards ..... xx

hey all,

congrats to you gillian fingers crossed for you.

sorry to hear af is on her way misty, have a large vino to get you in party spririt later on... if you haven't had one for a while it'll help ;) also, am v much with you on the 'earth' beliefs, have found 'blaming' mother nature quite satisfying and if you think about it, 'connectedness with earth' beliefs are shared by Native Americans, Indigenous Australians etc, and far precede Xtianity and Co. Far more sense too... but a jobs a job so I lay low, and keep thoughts to self ;)

took day off yesterday and saw counsellor at hospital, so helpful. let myself have hideous day sobbing on couch but feel like weight lifted today. think i had just carried on after mc if you know what i mean and that lesson just put everything in the present again. the guy taking the 'sick call' was less than understanding, but sent email to nice senior team member who was lovely, luckily!

how did it go with your aunty mrsb?

if i count mc as af, today is CD15, we having a good go and loving the DH is so keen this month. but having some vino this wknd as DH at stag do tonight, and im at hen do tomorrow... so hey ho!

need to catch up with 'rents on skype now... rock and roll sat night ;)

xx

Evening ladies did you miss me???
Guess not :)
Well had a fab week away not read all posts yet will do so in a couple of days when settled back
Got loads of nice goodies whilst away including a fab pendant for amelia - it s Rose quartz with silver around it & butterflies - it is beautiful - don't know how to add a picture else I would..
Take care out there, back tomorrow when read all posts but no asking me questions about them cos I have attention span of a goldfish :)
Group hugs ((((((((((((( everyone because I can))))))))))))
X x

hey stunned - great to have you back and glad you had a great time away AND bought a pendant for Amelia. i think there is a way you can put pictures on your profile and make it public.....but don't ask me how as i don't know!!?

only a quickie from me...after partially getting my hopes up (for no apparent reason other than great timing) i have begun spotting tonight at 10 (or 11) dpo so I will be joining Misty back at the starting line again. God, i forgot how much ttc sucks. I will however also be indulging in a large glass (bottle) of vino to lessen the blow.

will chat more tomorrow (mainly about my trip to Ikea in Milton Keyes with the 2 kids on a Saturday afternoon - insane....I think so!!!)

hope you're all having a nice weekend, xxxxxxxx

Afternoon ladies
Sorry lack of personals again but having a bad day :(
Looks like AF is on her way as started spotting dark brown blood - will be a month tomorrow since I gave birth to Amelia so I am feeling rather low.
Hubby has gone into work as his holiday is over so home alone with my cats who are unsettled as just got them home from the cattery.
Lots of tears from me - guessing this is my body getting back to normal so we can them start TTC again but it feels like a slap in the face showing I am not preggers
Went to Bristol zoo last week - only to find out it was mother & toddler week - GREAT!!!!! Not too many preggers ladies so was able to cope with the day but was tough seeing all the small babies etc.
just wondering why life is so fecking unfair - gone through six losses now and want to know when it will be my turn to have a little one to have & hold & watch grow up into a beautiful person on the earth instead of in heaven..
Thanks for letting me rant.. :(
X x

oh stunned, i'm so sorry. you're right in that the first period after a loss always feels so much more significant in that it's shouting out "you're not pg!" i'm so sorry - it must be so difficult too to have gone through so many losses. i've had 3 (including Eve) but they've all happened since i had my first ds, and although a loss is painful at any time, when you have a child already they at least provide you with a distraction and a reason to be thankful. sorry - i didn't mean to rub it in - i just think you must be a very strong and determined woman to have gone through so much, and then this with Amelia....i truly admire you and hope with all my heart that you have your take home baby soon xxx

i think it must be the weekend for AF to rear her ugly head. she showed up at my door last night (i think i knew she was coming) and full on today - the cow. trying to see it as a(nother) fresh start, fresh cycle, but it's still a bitter pill to swallow - also having done a couple of pg tests over the weekend (obviously bfns) i'd forgotten what a godawful sight a test with no second line is.....his me much harder than i thought it would.
oh - and to top it all off i think that i have a prolapsed bladder. am going to speak to my gp tomorrow (may even call the lovely MW that dealt with my recent pregnancy) as i'm concerned it may have an effect on our ttc. i don't think it's just happened either, just feels more 'obvious' now. i only know what it is (i think anyway) through some online friends (who are used to TMI questions!!) and Dr. Google!!! will let you know what happens.

hello to everyone else on this damp and cold sunday - mirrors my mood really!! the only thing that's bringing any kind of smile to my face re: AF is the timing......she'll be gone by Saturday, when we go away for a week - and buy the time we get back (25th) it'll be time to start thinking about ttc again - so at least from that point of view it has worked out quite nicely (nicer still would have been to be pregnant though.......)

sorry - was going to try and sound cheery, but not really cutting it!!! speak to you all later xxxxxxxx

Congratulations gillian, I hope you are further along than you think.

cremegg I'm really glad you found the counsellor useful. I am glad I'm seeing mine even though I don't think she can 'cure' me it at least allows some space to talk with someone neutral. A really good sob is horrible at the time but really does make you feel better once you've got it all out. It doesn't do wonders for one's complexion though!

stunned glad you had a nice break but sympathies on AF turning up. I suppose you could just try to see it as a sign that you're getting back to normal. I know I've said it before but you've been through so much and you must be really strong to keep trying. Have you had investigations after having so many problems? (Apologies if I'm being nosey!)

misty hope you're do was ok and you're feeling alright.

mrsb yes, another fresh start but it is awful to get a negative test no matter how much you convince yourself you'll be ok. I'm glad that at least she'll be gone for your holiday. Hope your bladder's ok too.

Not much cheer around today. None here either. I've still got AF and have been worried I've got an infection again because of the type and duration of bleeding - still fresh blood after 7 days which is very unusual for me, but it might just be as it's my first period after the termination. I'm watching and waiting anyway.

Anyway. Onwards and upwards as misty so wisely says. Love to you all and speak soon.
xxx

oooh - i'm sorry...amidst my doom and gloom i completely forgot to say CONGRATULATIONS to you Gillian - that is fantastic news and just what it needed today...a little hope! I echo Egglet, and hope that you are further along that you think, as at least it means you'd be nearing your 2nd tri - please let us know how you get on at your booking in appointment xxxx

Hello lovies

So sorry stunned. So sorry. Big virtual hug from me lovie. Always know you can chat to us here. This thread does go a bit quiet when everybodys busy and not got much to say, but when one of us (or most os us at the mo it seems) is down you can always rely on a bit of empathy and a chance to speak your mind. This IS a new start for you - but every journey has a beginning. The hard bit is getting up again and taking the first step, CD1 - which lots of us are taking again this month. Together. xxxx

cremegg - glad you feel your councelling helped. Its true how some things just throw you right back mentaly to the week/day/hour of the termination isnt it? It seems to happen less and less as time goes on though. So heres to staying strong. And heres to the mid cycle madness! Happy BDing

I'm ridiculously ON. Spotted a bit yesterday morning but then woosh - on like a train before lunch. So im on day 2 of my new cycle already. Very heavy AF. Lovely.

The ladies on FF will know i had a rotton night last night for lots of reasons and i wont ramble on again, but surfice to say it was an engagement party for a young couple and included all the most glamorous, gorgeous and half naked 23 year olds in Frimley and Sandhurst and my OH's sister in law and i sat with the oldies and got all maudlin. (She and my OH's bro are ttc without luck at the mo) Kept getting asked when me and OH were going to get married and have a baby and there was a woman there with her scan pictures and all the Aunties were handing it round. I got shown it about 10 times. Felt like dunking it in my drink before handing it back the last time.

Awful, bitter, bitter woman i am!! But theres only so much you can take in one evening.

Didnt get home till 2 this morn, so having an early one i think. Love to you all xxx

sorry to all the women that have a cycle, remember i had one cycle , then a missed but neg test then another missed but a pos, hopefully they will send me early for scan cos of the edwards in march. also my brother has found out his g/f having a baby, 28 weeks and on my old due date, if i wernt preg now 4 month behind , that would have killed me

Gillian I lost my baby to Edward's too and I've been told if I get pregnant again that I will have a viability scan at 8 weeks, be offered a CVS at 11 weeks (which I would have) and then extra scans throughout the pregnancy. I would also go direct to consultant-led care and have been told that if I get a positive pregnancy test to contact my consultant directly rather than the GP or midwife service. I know that myangelava was not offered the same things as me so it obviously varies from trust to trust but you should be offered more than just an extra scan. Hope this is useful.

misty that's all awful, I'm about to come and sympathise on ff!

My spotting has reduced so I've held off going to the GP for now. Nothing else to report except why is the weather so bloody miserable?!
x

Hello all- am on holiday and ill! Typical- have spent 3 days in bed with a virus & feel dreadful & sorry for myself!! It's obviously made me paranoid about the pregnancy as have had a temperature etc. although all seems fine for now. Am hoping to feel well enough to actually do something tomorrow.

Congratulations to gillian, I also bypassed my GP and called the hospital directly and they've sorted me out with a bit of pushing by me! I too am on consultant led care with a scan at 10 weeks as well as nuchal at 12/ cvs offered etc. Egglet, they're also agreeing (at the moment) to refer me to St Mary's if I still want to but that depends on consultant.

Sorry to hear about horrific AFs- next month there will be a flurry of bfps- I can feel it in my water! Also sorry to see cinnamon not here... please come back eventually & hope you're ok.

Anyway, have discovered free wifi so will keep checking in! Love to all xxx

Oh gillian, I forgot to mention I too lost my baby to Edwards at 26 weeks. Let's hope we have boring pregnancies this time around x

Oh bad luck myangelava. Don't worry about the pregnancy, they really are well protected by your immune system and all sorts of things that I don't really understand. Take it easy though.
I'm very glad you've got the potential to be referred to St Mary's, you know I really recommend them.
Hope you can actually do holiday stuff tomorrow.
x

stunned sorry for your loses, big hugs. The first AF is a real slap in the face, but like misty said it is also a new start.

Misty sorry your night out wasnt much fun. Some people need to engage brain before mouth. I'm dreading the when are you having babies questions. ( my family dont know about our loss).

myangelava hope you are feeling better, and have a good holiday.

AF still has'nt shown up must be on her way, aching boobs and aching back, tested this morning and course was BFN.

love to all xx