Antenatal support thread for women who have chosen to terminate 7

[mrsbigz]

May this thread continue to offer support and friendship to all who have found ourselves knocking at its door. May the door stay firmly wedged open - to be a comfort to those who have recently lost a little one, and welcoming back those who have longer memories of their loss. May the tea always be brewing and the millionaire shortbreads always freshly baked.

And may our all little ones find each other in a magical place, where they can run, laugh and play together with no boundaries

myangel - what a bummer to be ill on y'holls! You poor thing! Realy hope, as egglet says, you get to do holiday things tomorrow.

flower - where are you now CD29 ish? Realy depends when you ov'd as to wether its the right time to test. You may still have time. But achey back sounds a bit 'poo'. My AF pain is always backy as well as in the tum, too. Its a totaly different pain to ov pain and early pg.

Double edged sword when family doesnt know isnt it? It means you dont have to talk about it, or watch them trying to avoid taking about it - BUT - no one steers clear of the subject of babies for you in conversations cos they dont know what youve just been through. Cant bloody win ay?

Hugs all round anyway xxx

My AF is a little lighter tonight thank god. Yesterday i managed to get it on the bed AND the sofa during the day! Could hardly keep up with it. Sorry if its TMI but lord! Its a good job it was a slobby Sunday cos i must have needed to go to the loo and change about every hour. Hope this is not the new patern?? B4 the term. i had fairly light AF with lots of warning spotting...

Enough of me

Hey - just popping in so you all know I'm still here...
Mega busy at work at the moment - and then I'm off to Finland for the weekend... I'll do a pg test on Monday but don't 'feel' pg so not getting excited.... Assuming its negative it'll then be a couple of months before we TTC again - after we get the results back from all our tests etc...

Really feels like life is flying by at the moment...

hi ladies i'm still here too - just so busy at work at the moment. getting ready for our holiday (week in devon on saturday, please pray for good weather for us!!) and AF is still here (boooo) oh and i go to the doctors on friday for a possible prolapsed bladder or vagina (bloody typical) and for those who asked, the meal last week where my aunty was there - that went ok thanks, nothing was said about those emails, but we were pleasant to each other and there didn't seem to be any animosity between us which was good. and breath!!!!
hope you are all ok. flower, hope you're doing ok hun - it must be hard when none of your family know about your little one, i guess easy in some respects, but i find it hard at work as no one really knows and sometimes i just want to shout out that i'm having a bad day because i lost my baby and please everyone stop parading your bumps past my desk because it's really not helping!
sorry - got a bit sidetracked then. will have a proper catch up soon and of course will try and log in while i'm away (on my phone if there's a signal in the depths of devon) but will be thinking about you all while i'm away and hope you're all doing ok xxxxxxxx

Morning ladies
Sorry still AWOL ish - having bad time still - feeling really low / down :(
AF still playing me up as just spotting dark stuff with odd red wipes sorry if tmi - just want her o give it to ke so I can start getting on with life
Went to dr yesterday thinking test phased return to work & she signed me off for another month telling me I am showing signs of depression - no sh$t Sherlock!!!!
This was a bit if a blow as was expecting to get back into normal routine etc.
Taking the time to veg / not do much just yet..
Popped into work yesterday to give my sick note in - my boss had told the small team I work on as per my request. They were all so nice & gave me soo much support, which will be wonderful when I do go back.
Sorry for lack of personals normal service wil be back in a few days
Take care out there
X x

stunned sorry that you're still feeling so down about everything... i can't remember whether you're getting / have been offered councelling... If not definitely push for your doctor to refer you for some...

It's all such a big shock and it's totally reasonable to still be sad. You've lost so much :( we all have :(

Hi knitter
When I went to dr yesterday she arranged some for next Friday for me- I was told there was a six month waitlst before so wasn't holding breathe.
just want / feel I need to start moving on but can't AF shows up if that makes sense to you
X

hi
AF showed up today, hubby is away for work, so its me the kitten and a bottle of wine, drowning my sorrows .

Stunned hugs and hope the councelling works out for you.

Mrsbigz I live in devon!

xx

aww flower - i'm sorry the witch showed up :( (i was the same with a bottle of wine, chocolate and blue cheese to drown my sorrows.....not all at the same time though!) i hope i didn't send her to you as i'm just about 'finishing' at the moment.....on to the next cycle
whereabouts in devon do you live? i love devon - we used to go for years when i was a kids to croyde bay (which apparently now is a right surfers paradaise!?) - but saturday we're going to south devon, Exmouth. we went there last year too so know what to expect when we get there - ds1 is really excited as he remembers it from last year (though is confused that we're not staying in exactly the same caravan). can't wait actually - whatever the weather throws at us it'll do us all good to have a week away from everything!!
i hope that AF is not to unkind to you and disappears as quickly as she arrived. there are quite a few of us in 'sync' at the moment just starting new cycles so at least we can support each other in each phase of the ttc merry-go-round!
xxxxx

hey all, hope your weeks are ok.

stunned hope the counselling works out for you tomorrow, i find it as a great way to let it all out.

mrsb hope you have a fab hol, it's just so nice to get away isn't it?! I always find in your own house, even if you're off work, you just end up chores (or feeling like I should be) Have fun :D

knitter have a fab time in Finland, sounds cool :)

flower sorry the bi*ch showed up, wine just works tho in those circumstances!

cinnamon are you still there? missing you here :S

I had a great boogie at the hen do on sunday (gay clubbing:), was a great way to let hair down for a change, tried not to drink too much as sure it won't do me any favours getting wasted but had a few glasses of bubbles and a little bit of voddie! Think am now on 2ww, can't say we went for it every day this time, was a bit on and off... mad for a couple of days then nowt for couple of days, so v much doubt that will have done the job. Will see....

Have decided not to do supply work this week (after last week!) so gonna do a little light shopping and get a ton of marking done.

Hope all well xx

Lots of mixed emotions here at the mo. for all those feeling down.

stunned - so glad the wait isnt going to be as long as that. Next Friday will come round quick and you can start getting some support lovie. AF will bugger off any minute now, and you can move on with us xxxx

knitter have a lovely weekend. SO excited for you - your chart just looks so good. If AF does arrive and this month is not your month after all - at least you get the two summer months free of stressy ttc! lol. Win, win situation there.

Flower - blasted Auntie Flo! Take a few days to pamper yourself with whatever you fancy whenever you fancy it! Be it chocies, vino, posh ice cream, blue cheese, cake .......... sigh - cake .....

As mrsbigz says - alot of us are in sinc at the mo, CDs 1 - 6 so it should be a good month together

cremegg - gay clubbing sounds fabulous! I used to go to Madame Jo Jo's sometimes (London) as a teen in the late 80's and it was amazing!! So friendly and welcoming to ALL. Hair do's and costumes out of this world! Going down memory lane there! lol. FX for you for the 2WW xx

mrsB - hope your hectic day is going/has gone well today. Only one day left to go b4 you can escape on holls. How lovely if you could meet Flower while you're there! Lets hope all the rain forcast this next couple of days gets it all out of the way for you for next week. But like you say just being away from the routine is a holiday - whatever the weather.

Not alot to report here. Was moaning on FF about the lack of things to do/pee on between CD5 - 10ish, which is where i am. (CD6) Maybe i should just tear up some little bits of paper and just happily pee away on them to satisfy my urge!

Good news is i ordered a flash sat nav from amazon yesterday. After Saturday night/Sunday mornings fiasco last weekend (plus, tbh, the many many other times when i've got lost over the years) i decided i'd had enough of googling, fighting the printer, and juggling bits of paper in the car, only to get competely bloody lost anyway. Cant wait for it to arrive!!! My new toy. Im joining the 21st century everybody!

xx

Mrsbigz I live in exmouth !!!

Waves to everyone
Been feeling little better today, saw friends & had a few hugs which was nice.
Not really done much though - next week need to get this backside into gear and start loosing weight again. I did well last week as we were away and I stayed the same..
I like exmouth - we visited there lasrbyear
Take care everyone
X x

Opps forgot to add still waiting for AF to start - as just been spots when i wipe etc
Getting fed up waiting now :(
X x

flower.......really......Exmouth!!?! that's a bit of a coincidence!! i'm going to pm you my moby no. - if you're about maybe we could meet for a coffee? we're staying at devon cliffs (though you prob guessed that already LOL)

sorry for short post, absolutely knackered today - banbury this morning for meetings, kings norton this afternoon, horrible headache (think it's weather related) and dreading tomorrows doctors appointment and what the 'diagnosis' is going to be. oh and got back from KN earlier than expected and found my whole house turned upsidedown....DH decided to have a move around (which actually does look quite nice) - but i arrived home mid-chaos (with said headache), no dinner arranged (we had fish and chips in the end) then had to dash out to ds1's preschool parents evening, where we were told he loves the computer, is good interacting with the other kids, knows his alphabet, numbers, shapes and goes to the toilet without being asked!! haha - well what else can they tell you about a 3.5year old!!!

so dh is still rearranging wires, i'm going to bed - have a half day tomorrow to get our packing done!

misty - SO glad you got yourself a satnav....they really do take the stress out of journeys (even when you know where you are going!) - and completely with you on the pointless cd5-10 days (am cd5 today!).

stunned - hope AF comes along soon for you so you can start getting back to normal cycles (weird to say that still - wishing for AF for someone!!)

cremegg - your hen night sounds like a lot of fun!!! reminds me of a fab club i used to go to (called garlands) when i lived in liverpool.....also a gay club and fantastic nights were always had (aww...memory lane - almost 20 years ago - eek!!!)

egglet - hope you're well - will see you over on ff shortly!! xx

right must be off, will update you tomorrow about how my drs appointment goes, and while i'm away i'll try and get on (or will text misty and get her to update you) - is a pretty uneventful time for me (ttc-wise) while i'm away thankfully, but will be all systems go when we get back!!!

speak soon xxxxxxxxxxx

Morning ladies
Just a quick one - woke up to find AF here in full flow & my body is working. Have back / tummy aches. I never been soo pleased to see her :)
Rite time for shower then the weekly food shop
Hope everyone has a fab Friday & great start to the weekend
Hugs to all
X x

YAY - stunned....am pleased the witch found you :) hope she doesn't stay too long, and is kind to you while she's visiting!!!

quick update, had my doctors appt this morning, he confirmed i have a vaginal prolapse - nice!! he did say it was mild, but that the solution would be to have an operation to 'tighten the muscles' again. if i have the op and then fell pg, i would have to have a c-section (something i'm not keen on). OR i can wait, do kegel exercises, hope to fall pg quickly, have a natural birth and then have the op. so even the doctor is ordering me to fall pg quickly.....let's hope that we can oblige.
so all in all, not the bad news i was expecting (i'm not completely falling apart yet) but i still feel a little 'let down' by my body!!!

speak later xxx

I am constantly let down by my body, mrsb. Today it is letting me down by having hayfever, a sinus inflammation and of course by not being pregnant! It's rubbish and I'd quite like a new one. Good you have a diagnosis and reassurance though. Also as I forgot to say elsewhere - have a lovely holiday!

stunned Yes, hope AF is quick and merciful and try to see it as good that everything is in working order again.

cremegg glad you had a good night out. I reckon gay clubs are always 40% straight women.

flower hope you're feeling better. What a lovely part of the world to live in. I know it has it's problems but to have all that wonderful countryside nearby must be lovely.

misty hope you're enjoying your satnav. I have a love/hate relationship with mine. No other inanimate object has provoked such massive levels of irritation and absolutely enraged swearing as that thing, yet it's behaved perfectly sometimes and got me out of some real messes.

All well and fairly uneventful here. Another counselling session this morning and I was less tearful again this time which maybe means I can talk about it all a bit more now. I do recommend it to people who are considering it though.

Anyway, busy weekend of housework and whatnot ahead so I'll make a start by cleaning out the kitchen bin. I know, it's not fair to parade the glamour of my life in front of you all like this....

xxx

Afternoon xx

stunned - i echo what egglet said - good to see AF that first time, as it confirms all is 'ticking over'. Hope its not too heavy or too long for you.

Dont be too hard on your bodies girls ..... i know it feels like they're not perfect sometimes, but cut them a break and try and be positive i often think about what i've put mine through over the years - kids, termination, working too hard, not sleeping enough, not eating too healthy, yo yo dieting, too much excersise/not enough excersise, bit of binge drinking .... yada yada yada, and im still here! Doing pretty well in spite of it all. A few aches and pains and taking a long time ttc. Sinus probs and a bit of high blood pressure. Starting to have to hold things away from my face to see them now .... but i forgive it all. It is the only body i'm going to have after all.

MrsB - sent you a PM about your holls and your docs appt. Wont repeat it all, but thinking of you! X'd fingers for a bit of current bun

egglet - havnt quite got the sat nav into the car yet, lol. It arrived yesterday and i unwrapped it after tea, sat on the sofa with it and sniffed it, shook it and grunted at it - (think 'planet of the apes') bit of a technophobe truth be told. Then OH plugged it into my laptop and it came to life. he he, i've told him i can DO it - like a 6 year old. Tomorrow i will attach it to the dashboard and go somewhere with it! I know OH wants to play with it but he cant! It's mine! He can play with it after me.

xx

Just thinking - maybe i could pee on it ........ ? No?

If you do all you will get is: 'Turn around where possible' in a vastly irritating tone. I can't have the English Woman voice on mine as I want to kick her head in. I changed to the New Zealand Man and I want to kill him too, just not quite as much yet.

I'm only joking about my body. Things could be an awful lot worse. (Could really do without the hayfever though!)

Evening ladies
Another kick in the teeth today
Had a call from a manager to tell me I am moving teams - I am really upset about it. I was in floods of tears during and after the call. I really like my team, nice & friendly, easy to get on with both in & out of work.
Knew there was changes going on but asked if I could stay put due to loss etc. The choice I have now is a man who mumbles or one whose nickname is CPT chaos.... I will find out in Tuesday which one I get - really don't wan either to be honest.
Neither of which I get on with although I am sure they are nice gentlemen but expaining female problems to them I really don't feel comfy. I explained this to the chap who called me & he said I could talk to him or he can arrange to for a HR lady to speak to me - great!!! Tried to explain this is hard due to nature of reason I am off but it fell on deaf ears.
Was advised the training starts in a week so I am still off & unless I get signed back fit & cancel the week off I have planned I can't stay on my team. Not sure there is any point complaining to the union as it will seem like being a stroppy child. Plus there are approx six others moving teams & there are other moves in the office planned.
The team leader I have now is amazing - she has lost a child to cancer so does sort of know what I am going thro. Just what I really needed NOT....
This has topped my day off nicely with the AF pains Grr :(
There is a bottle of wine & a packet of pink & whites with my name on them & I am not sharing.......
Sorry rant over - will try to be less grumpy next week - honest
X x

scan date came in today, not till 29th june so should be over 12 weeks max or 8 weeks can't wait to find out, such bad timing lol we r going on a family trip to chessington for 2 days in july lol, also i was going to thorpe park in 2 week with friends , so wont be doing that, i've not been to a theme park with friends in 9 years, also was ment to be going on a weekend trip on 20th jan, for friends 30th birthday, well if i am 10 weeks then due 11 th jan lol so wont be doing that , also i am 30 in oct , i will be very sober lol

mrsbigz i have various prolapses grade ones. part of the reason my last termination was early as my body wouldn't have coped with carrying the weight. I'm also really overweight so will concentrate on losing that weight when i have the baby as well as loads of kegels which i hope will make the difference. I was told surgery was a last resort and that's how i'm viewing it, i just need to work out new signals for when I need to go to the loo. I think I had it from my second pg (she is now six) but only realised after ds who will be 3 in sept. was really upset for a bout a year but ok after that. x

Back off holiday & just wanted to say a quick hello. I'm sorry to see that mrsbigz has had bad news! Let's hope for a quick pregnancy and lots of kegels! Will be back for more later!!! X

Hey
Back from my weekend in finland. Had a fab time :)

i'd promised myself I could test this morning...and...bfn. But it's still early and theres no sign of AF yet... My temperature has gone up again this morning but i'm getting a bit suspicious about my temperature as my graph on FF doesn't seem right...

Will keep you all informed obviously :)

Hugs to you all especially stunned and mrsbigz

Hi ladeeys xxxx

Knitter! Just this second been looking at your graph. How hot are going to get girl!!?? lol Tell me about what you think is wrong with the chart, i may be able to help you. Here or on FF, i dont mind.

Myangel, hello! Hope you had a good break, and are all healthy and blooming xx

Manitz - nice to see a visitor from the sister thread xx

gillian - hi, too. Looking forward to your scan now - wont take long to get to the 29th.

stunned - how are you doing lovie?

cremegg, flower, and all the other girlies - how are you all?

mrsb - if you look in while away, hope you're having a lovely relaxing time xxx

egglet - me old mucker - spoken to you already today xxx

Nothing much to report here. Day one of peeing for me - something to do at last.

Sat nav is in car and was used to find tatoo convention on Sat. Worked a treat outward bound, but homeword bound - Daniel - the man who lives within the sat nav, tried to direct me back to his place in Luton!!! I pressed 'home', having put my home addrss in the memory the day before - but Daniel was having none of it! So i turned him off. sigh. My review of the product would read a) I'd like some praise from Daniel when i've negotiated a difficult roundabout correctly. I find his silence worrying. b) I wish he wouldnt talk over me! Everytime i started to speak Daniel would pipe up and interupt me. c) Apart from a and b its ok. Apart from his obsession with Luton.

xx