Antenatal support thread for women who have chosen to terminate 7

[mrsbigz]

May this thread continue to offer support and friendship to all who have found ourselves knocking at its door. May the door stay firmly wedged open - to be a comfort to those who have recently lost a little one, and welcoming back those who have longer memories of their loss. May the tea always be brewing and the millionaire shortbreads always freshly baked.

And may our all little ones find each other in a magical place, where they can run, laugh and play together with no boundaries

x-post darlingred. i wish there was some kind of sensor to prewarn us when we're about to turn a corner or open a paper, or hear a friends news - just so we can be prepared (or choose to look the other way!!)
hope you're ok xxx

I second the above - good luck at the shopping centre egglet. Be strong. It'll be your turn again very soon.

Hi again darlingred. xx

OH and i were watching the early am weather on friday and theres an odd looking new girl doing it and i was looking at her in her satiney dress (shes very skinny) taking no notice of the forcast at all, and when it was done i muttered "she's pregnant!"

OH, laughing - "not every other woman on the planet is pregnant y'know".

Me, very grumpy - "Well it bloody feels like it!".

Poor man. I was muttering at him about the news reader on morning BBC that is preg recently.

Not alot ot report here. Hair up in little siver kitchen foil balls at the mo for highlights, and got yesterdays make up all smudged about round my eyes. Still in dressing gown. Great look! AF due this Thurs (or Fri or Sat). So fingers crossed every one please? For her NOT to show up of course. lol.

Love and to all. xxx

X posts mrsB lol hi there.

Hi all, I am sorry about your miscarriage, Cremegg, and impressed by your strength in dealing with it amidst teenage boys!

V briefly-that bump envy got me for ages and ages. I saw pregnant bellies everywhere. Actually once (embarrassed face here) I saw a pregnant belly, sulked, and realized it wasn't a pregnant belly but a MAN's beer belly.... seriously though, that pain does fade in time, it just hits you right in the solar plexus for a while first.

You all seem energized atm by the way. Fingers crossed for some BFPs soon!

The newsreader gives me hope- she is 40 and has had failed IVF. I'm strange- if someone has had fertility probs, multiple mc etc I think they deserve to be pg so they upset me less. If someone has no probs they don't deserve it in my eyes.

Only one pregnant woman in the shopping centre (this is as I went half an hour before closing time so it was deserted!)

*Hi Cant, hope you're ok. Yes to some BFPs here soon.

blacktreaclecat that is a bit how I feel. I noticed that newsreader was pregnant the other day and I had all the thoughts of 'stop flaunting your bump in front of me' etc but I feel better about it knowing she's had problems too.

Also, I clocked that Pui off Show Me Show Me (Cbeebies) is pregnant in the new series and I was obsessively staring at the woman doing signing for the deaf on CBeebies this morning convinced she was pregnant too. (She was just fat, I think). Madness isn't it?!

Hopefully I'll feel less mad once my period appears and the PMT goes but seeing as I don't want that to happen until Thursday (important for ttc purposes!) you might have to put up with my insane ramblings a bit longer.

Final bit of madness... I'm convinced the friend I have coming round tomorrow will tell me she's pregnant, I know she's been trying for ages and has a daughter the same age as mine. She said she was jealous when I got pregnant again and I felt bad telling her, but now I think the tables are turned...)

Anyway, speak to you all soon. Hope you've all had a good weekend.
x

Yes. Blacktreaclecat, I had the same feeling about other peoples pregnancies. Egg, hope period arrives when you want it to.
Two years ago today my second angel baby was born. I have come so far since then and had babycant. But for now, I am remembering my second lost girl. It's a cliche but the loss does get lighter to bear. I really hope in a years time you will all be cuddling new babies and getting no sleep.

Cant, I hope that you have got through today ok and I'm so glad you have babycant.

hello cant. I too hope today has been as ok for you as it could be xx had to smile at the beer belly mistake! Bless you for all your good wishes.

blackt hi there lovie. How brave of you to admit to feeling less poisonous towards a woman who has struggled a bit to get pg. I'm the SAME Why are we so bitter? Its an awful thing to admit, but obviously very common.

egglet - so know what you mean. I think i've said this b4 (but i'm gonna say it again, lol) i'm permenantly living in fear mentaly braced for an announcement from OH's older bro + wife.

I've been to bed once tonight, but couldnt sleep so have come back down. sigh. Dont know why. Highlights are fine and the silver foil balls are gone, so its not that, lol.

i got a bit wound up reading AIBU earlier - a woman was complaining about her babys due date falling around xmas time. FFS! As one poster there said - quote: "right now i'd cheerfully chew my own arm off to be having a baby at ANY time of year". The threads getting very twisted mainly as OP got all stroppy early on and managed to ailianate all those who mentioned loosing their baby by saying she didnt need to acknowledge them in HER thread. And some of the bereaved are from the same Dec baby bus as she's on apparently Must stop reading that kind of thread. I just end up all hot and wound up with no where to channel it.

me - no sign of AF yet. FX, FX, FX. Came on day 9DPO last month. Unusualy early for me. Tomorrow is day 8. Sore boobs, a bit sicky and temps high - but we went through this last month with the spotting, got all excited and then the witch flew down. sigh.

xxxxx

Heelllloo all,

My regular Monday morning check in; hope everyone is okay. Big hugs to cant, am dreading all my anniversaries. And in ref to much earlier posts, yep, I still count how many weeks, (would have been 24 on Wednesday....sigh.....).

Pregnant people seem to have disappeared round here, luckily for me! Lots of littlies though; think I mentioned before that taking DS3 to nursery is its own type of hell for me as they have bumps and babies, breast feeding clinics and post natal groups all running at the same time as I drop him off, grrrr. My worst baby envy? Those shouty, grubby looking women with their shouty, grubby looking offspring in tow, (usually 3-4 kids minimum), who endlessly complain in a loud voice about how crap their kids/ OH's are while smoking a fag over the pram of a new born. Generally every other word is a 'f' or a 'b'. Quite a few at DS's nursery for some reason. Want to scream and punch them, every time.

Talking of DS3, he's back on form, crying out in his sleep every night at roughly 12.30am and then between 2-3am. He doesn't wake, but of course wakes me and OH up. Then last night had the added joy of hay fever; not me but DS2 coughing and OH heavy breathing through a bunged up nose. Like trying to sleep listening to an 0898 number...apparently! Ended up downstairs in the living room, sleeping on the spare mattress that we use when the kids' mates stop over. Finally drifted off at 4am, then OH woke me at 7am trying to find me! Je suis tres knackered.

This is the problem with not keeping up, it ends up being all me and no personals, sorry ladies! Fingers crossed misty and, egglet? - no chance this month? Maybe it's not PMT and just the other types of hormones? I've been feeling hideously emotional, (no really, it's been hideous!!), but that could be exhaustion! Have been DTD every day since Auntie Flo left with the exception of Black Monday, (cue more exhaustion, ha ha...sorry....), her visit is scheduled for the 16th. Did those damn crappy opk kits, got some days darker than others but no positive despite testing from from first day after Flo left till yesterday. Have given up, so depressing. Lots of tummy cramps around predicted ov time though and EWM, (or EeeeeeWwwwwwM as it's known in our house). Now have puffy tummy and sore boobs, emotional as mentioned, hmmmm.... Think it's wishful thinking, got symptoms within 2-3 days of getting pregnant with little one, but will be early testing Sat, (First response is buy one get one free at Boots at the mo BTW!) and being royally ticked off when I get my BFN. I know that's a pessimistic way of thinking but I just can't let my guard down; I already know a BFN will make me completely miserable; if I let myself believe for even one second I might be pregnant, the disappointment will be too much.

Oooh nice and depressing there! Hope you are all good on this frankly rubbish rainy Monday! Lots of love and hugs to all xxxxxxx

p.s. cremegg, still thinking of you xxxx

Hi cinnamon - I know what you mean about 'ungrateful' multiple mothers. Also misty I don't read any other threads on mn in general as most of them really annoy me. A lot of it seems very smug and irritating and that one would just make me want to scream. I actually want to go and post something abusive on it now! It's only this part of mn I ever read after stumbling across it when I was in my own dire straights.

Anyway. Af for me today. Not good news as severely limits my chance of ttc this cycle as husband is away for most of that time. I'm sad about this but nothing I can do except wait until the next time it comes around, in f*cking August. The joys of a 6 week cycle.

So I'm depressed too!

Catch you all later.
x

Bugger, bugger, bugger egglet, sorry to hear that. Damn Auntie Flo, how I hate her!

Guess we're all looking to misty now? No pressure sweetie!! Sorry, now that does seem like pressure! Let's just say I'll be FX, FX, FX for you too.

With you both on the reading other areas; the only other one where I find kindred type spirits is with the ladies trying to conceive. There are a lot of ladies there too who realise how precious babies are and how we should never take pregnancy for granted. Someone was genuinely whinging about a Christmas baby? What an idiot. How nice to be able to be so far up your own bum and not have to deal with the realities that there are some things more important than a new born putting a cramp on your pre Xmas shopping, gggrrrrr........!!

Laters skaters, big hugs to you all xxxxxxxxx

Hello everyone- am sorry I've been a bit AWOL but I have been reading- thank you for your lovely messages re the funeral last wed. It was lovely actually only it did obviously really stress me out and gave me a huge headache and so had to go straight to bed when I got home. I think maybe it was made worse by the loss of Ava in Jan. I also spoke with a lady who lost her baby at 8 1/2 months due to a placenta prob, which was a reassuring conversation but equally upsetting. That was back in 1985 and she thought about her son every day but actually did not really get closure until her grandson was born as she did not have any further children. It was an interesting conversation and did give me hope, but the stress headache did linger til Sat! I also finished therapy sessions on Thurs- although apparently they don't give certificates out!

Anyway, am supposed to be packing- so this procrastination is good! Away again for a couple of weeks but am looking forward to hearing of a BFP whilst I'm away! Sorry to hear about AF Egglet, in particular because it buggers up next month's ttc. That is the hardest bit about ttc I think, esp when you have a long cycle. cinnamon, I'll be keeping my fx that you get to use your 2 for 1 tests! And obv fx for everyone else. cremegg, hello to you and hope that you're ok as I dont think you've posted in a while. Xx

Ok, should have read that first before posting. It sounds a bit bleak re the lady who lost her son. It really wasn't and she was very positive about the things that she had learnt and how she had used that to help others. She also stressed that although she thinks of him every day it is a nice thought rather than the desperation and that time really did heal. I'm sorry if I depressed you all with my typing- must read things through! Xx

Exactly cinnamon! Hello love.

Not just me - mrsB is waiting too ..... (sorry mrsB, i dont want all the limelight,lol)

Not happy today. Decided earlier i was never going to test as it is never going to happen. Grump.

Dont want to bore anyone silly, but am having a very self centered day. (egglet + mrsB will have to put up with me twice as i've been moaning and complaining on FF too) I've got a wierd dull draggy tum ache. Occasionaly little stabs. I've got sore nips. Boobs are hot. i DONT feel sicky today. I havnt found the energy or inclination to get showered today. Very moody. Metalic taste in mouth. Thirsty. EWM is almost eggwhitey. Put creamy on FF. There - i can hear the snores from here

cinnamon i live oposite the rear gate to the village primary school. Twice day i am treated to the happy spectacle of 12 year old mothers pushing pushchairs up/down the hill on the other side of the road while yelling over their shoulders to their older children to effing hurry up. (i can tell you that half of them are not giving a flying eff about their offsprings reading/writting ect as i used to be the one testing the maths/reading progress for alot of them!!) sigh.

Aaanyway - a lighter note .... erm .... ha ha, i cant think of one! Sorry.

I'm thinking now I might test tomorrow morn y'know ...... Got to stay positive!

What mood swings ????

Hey ladies... Totally agree on the pregnancy envy front... I also have realised that I find myself focussing on other peoples tales of woe... Went to a National Trust place at the weekend and they always have these family trees... I found myself looking for people that had lost pregnancies/had still-births etc etc... Very morbid and now I'm aware of it I'm going to try and stop... I think I'm sightly looking for people who've got it 'worse' than me.... have lost more babies/pregnancies.... That is really unhealthy isn't it....

Actually at the moment I think I know only two person who are pregnant....which does make things easier... With my MMC and ectopic there were lots of other friends who were pregnant at the same time and we'd been planning joint play sessions, etc.... Now their babies are all six months old - seems amazing that I could/should have a DC2 who was starting to wean....

Misty, that all sounds positive- let's hope quietly. If you test tomorrow how early is that? X

I'm sorry knitter I x posted with you. I think that it's very hard (on top of the original loss) when you have friends' babies to remind you of what stage your lost little one(s) would be at. X

misty... don't mean to get over excited... but they sound like a great list of symptoms... particlularly the metalic taste in mouth..... go on... test....

oooh - and FWIW I'm on FF too.... Just got my account going again...

I htink this is a link to it My Ovulation Chart... Anyone want to be my friend?

Yes, yes! Oooh oooh . I'll be your friend knitter! I bet egglet and mrsB will be too. I'll go have a look in a mo. (Meant to be doing dinner!)

Bless the pair of you knitter and myangel for getting all excited for me again. You did last month too - with my spotting remember? And i let you down. Tomorrow is only 9 DPO. Bit ridiculously early? WWYD?

Test gosh darn it!!!

That's just me, but I know I would. And don't get too disheartened if it's a bfn because that list of symptoms.......looking pretty good. Last month you only had the spotting and tummy cramps, there's a lot more going on this time.

(Claps hands excitedly!!)

What is this FF? Sounds...complicated. Tried temps and opk's this month and it drove me nutty; do you guys recommend it? Just trying to think positive about what I can do to negate the inevitable downer when evil Flo and her band of merry decorators turn up next week. Also don't think OH and I can keep up the schedule we've been sticking to so pin pointing the best days to BD may be a bit more healthy than just every day! Poor lad, it'll drop off if he's not careful. TMI???

Eldest is playing me his drum composition, part of his music GCSE. I'm hoping he's the next Dave Grohl, there's a good chance.

Lots of love xxxx

Fertility Friend is a website that you put in exciting info like Basal Body Temperature, Cervical Mucus state, whether you've had sex etc... and it calculates if it thinks you're ovulating/pg.... Makes for interesting reading and gives you something to do. It certainly makes me feel like I'm slightly in control of my systems if that makes sense!

I can't actually remember how to do 'friend requests' on FF... can anyone remind me?

The only way i know is to find a post from the person you want to befriend - thats easy - me and mrs bigz can post a post and then tell you where to find it Knitter. and then you request us to be your friend - and then we say yes!

cinnamon, please join ??? For the full works (including being able to see all our charts and for us to see yours, and do the 'charting course' which is soooo full of info i didnt know anything about) you have to pay a subscription (easy now egglet - i know you had a hard time with this one) Its 40 quid for a year.

I will test tomorrow morning. Its a tesco special tho, so hope its sensitive enough If i get a neg i'll buy something a bit better for another go - always assuming af hasnt turned up by then of course.

really quick as on my way out (busy busy) but Knitter - here's a link to our little group on ff HERE

will catch up later - sorry been chasing my tail all day as behind in everything!!!! love to you all and speak later xxxx