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Pregnancy choices

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Antenatal support thread for women who have chosen to terminate 7

863 replies

mrsbigz · 14/05/2011 22:54

May this thread continue to offer support and friendship to all who have found ourselves knocking at its door. May the door stay firmly wedged open - to be a comfort to those who have recently lost a little one, and welcoming back those who have longer memories of their loss. May the tea always be brewing and the millionaire shortbreads always freshly baked.

And may our all little ones find each other in a magical place, where they can run, laugh and play together with no boundaries

OP posts:
StunnedAndShocked · 31/05/2011 20:17

cinnamondog
trust me I have eaten loads & done not a lot this last week as haven't felt like it so the weight loss was a shock... Lol
Hubby been asking about trying again, not sure just yet but the practice is good Wink
So nice to see the chat flowing
X x

MyangelAva · 31/05/2011 20:42

Why did no one tell me that you're not to hug on MN?! Feel like an idiot now! Blush

Cinnamon, I think it's a natural reaction and as others have said, every other day is enough to do the trick! Having said that, I was so upset and disappointed the cycle before last, which was a wash out because DH had viral meningitis. He was so apologetic and I felt awful because I shouldn't have thought like that when he was so ill, but I couldn't help it.

Right, off to eat! Funeral tomorrow, which I'm not looking forward to but will see you all soon xxx

misty0 · 31/05/2011 21:06

Oh myangel, hope it all goes well tmrow. We'll be thinking of you lovie. Let us know how it goes?

Aparently "lol's" are realy annoying for MN's too - and i do them all the time as well! ha ha, oh and baby dusting....and too many !exclamation marks!

So girls ...... HUGS TO EVERYONE, WITH ADDED BABY-DUST Grin LOL !!!!!!!! xxxxx pity we cant get the sickeningly sparkly signatures going on too - just to annoy those grumpy gals. Although, hmmmm, not even sure i could cope with those here....

stunned - this thread has its busy times and quiet times. Its funny how it goes. Never be afraid to have a good ramble tho'. Theres always someone having a lurk Smile

mrsbigz · 31/05/2011 21:26

misty - you make me LOL with all your non PC typing!!!!!!!!!!!!

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StunnedAndShocked · 01/06/2011 00:43

Doh how blonde lol - I surf the net on a iPhone & it auto corrects words / text if it thinks you have spelt things wrong or if you put unknown words in as they change it..I have to be soo careful when sending text messages as I have wrong words in them..
Think I personally need airbrushing before I go out in public... Therefore no further dieting required :)
Good luck Myangelava with the funeral - not nice day for you
Love zumba - need to find time to fit it into my shedule / class that suits me. I only been once & thought it was great fun - did sweat a bit but it was good.
Rite hubby now home & time to jump his bones bless him so nite nite ladies
X x

flower11 · 01/06/2011 01:53

Hi everyone,

Misty I like your hugs and babydust, spread them around!!

Its funny how silly things can upset you, today 3 people have commented to me about it being june and half the year gone, which has got me on to ttc is taking so long it will be well into 2012 by the time I get to have a baby. I'll be bloody 36 by the time it happens, was 34 when preg with Isabelle so this just feels soooo wrong ( feb birthday by the way).

Anyway have been doing lots of b'ding, with working nights we have to do it when hubby gets in from work, then have dinner then I go to work, its about as clinical as it gets! then I worry about the lack of feeling and love as it were, read somewhere that state of mind is important for conception.

Myangelava hope tomorrow goes ok x

oh and cinamon I do a good B+B for friends and family, my mum and dad asked if they could come and stay while we are away in july, this was the week before we got moses the kitten, so I said yes great you can cat sit :o so its worked out very well.

hugs xx

Cinnamondog · 01/06/2011 10:33

Hello all,

Firstly, all my love and thoughts to myangelAva; hope today goes okay honey and gives you some peace.

Well, there are a lot of men getting jumped on out there aren't there?! Asked OH last night if it felt weird; he assured me no, it's never a bad thing to be asked to BD so that's reassuring! I too worry that it'll all become a bit of a means to an end, but I think that we sometimes forget our OH's want a baby just as much as we do, and it is a pretty fun way of getting there!

I'm coming from the diet and exercise thing from the other side, I want to put weight on, (a nation of women shriek - what!?!). Best explain; am 6 foot tall and was always a very happy, healthy 12-14 with enough to fill and bra and a bum for my jeans. I looked like a woman and was quite happy please thank you. A few bits wobbled but we are meant to wobble!!

Cue a period of stress and a major kidney infection and 2 years ago dropped 2 1/2 stone and am now a size 8-10. Look like a little boy, no chest and a horrible 'flat bottom'; my back kind of merges into the backs of my legs with no bum bump. I look at least 5 years older than I used to as well. Bony, scrawny witch hands, knobbly knees and old woman shoulders. The height doesn't help, I just look like I'd blow over in a stiff breeze. If I wear leggings and boots, from the side I look like a golf club. Don't dare do any kind of exercise in case I lose any more weight, (though walk about 4 miles a day, so fairly fit I think!).

So embrace the bust, love the bum and revel in the ability to jump up and down and feel things jiggle. Currently if I jump up and down there is a danger something might shatter. One of my most beautiful friends is a lady fron Italy who is a size 18; she looks like some kind of goddess. Believe me; no one is looking at the size 10 skinnys when she's about!

Right, off to bath my youngest and persuade the 2nd youngest he needs to follow suit as his hair is vile! Bless him!

Lots of love, hugs and baby dust, (WTF is baby dust??) xxxxxxxxxxx

KnitterNotTwitter · 01/06/2011 12:09

Hey
Just catching up from all the posts over the weekend

MyAngel hope the funeral is as good as can be expected thoday

Cinnamon glad that your OH hasnt' got a UTI

And everyone else

Fairly quiet weekend for us - we were camping with DS which was a bit weird - he refused to go to sleep before it was dark - hence some quite late nights with a determined but tired small boy... He's also started wetting the bed which is really boring - every other night at the moment :(

DH was out until late last night and came in all drunk and amorous... Sadly I was too far asleep to make use of it but I'm regretting it now - looking at my spreadsheet I'm on day 11 so need to crack on if we want to have a chance of concieving this month...

EggletinaClock · 01/06/2011 13:19

Misty love, you hug and LOL all you like, but I know you won't mind me saying that 'babydust' makes me want to throttle someone!
Anyway, it's interesting what you were saying about your age difference with your dh. I have a friend with a husband 10 years younger and she puts herself under enormous pressure as a result. I think if she's not careful it will become a self-fulfilling prophesy as she's always saying to him how old and haggard she is (I would keep quiet and hope he doesn't notice!) But seriously, if he loves you then he loves you regardless of a bit of extra weight and whatnot and if he does judge you on that, than you're better off without him! I am a mere 3 months older than mine but I am absolutely appalled at how much I have let myself go these past few months, I was bad enough being tired and pregnant but then after all this happening I am a wreck. I am going to start putting in my diary to do my nails once a week, and today I'm going to urgently see to my feet which are turning into hooves! We're going out for dinner tomorrow night and I'm deliberately wearing strappy sandals to make sure I do something about my feet. This is just the tip of the iceberg, but as a week at a luxury spa is out of the question, I'm just going to take it one neglected body part at a time until I start to feel a bit better about myself.

myangelava Hope you get through the funeral ok. I think it's especially hard to go through that when you've already got a lot of sadness in your life.

flower for what it's worth, I don't think there's an emotional element to conceiving - it's sperm meets egg at the end of the day. Don't worry about your age either, you're honestly still young. I hate the idea of being pregnant at 39 which is how old I will be, unless I get pregnant next month (as if all had gone to plan I was supposed to have my babymaking over by 38 which I thought was bad enough!) but I just try not to think about my age too much now. There are millions of women having babies well into their 40's.

stunned I think you'll know when you're ready to try again but it is nice that your husband is already asking as then you won't have to win him round!

Cinnamon I hope you're feeling a bit better too and glad there's no more UTIs in your household. When I was pregnant I lost a lot of weight after a hideous stomach bug and wanted to put on about half a stone. Cheese helped a lot, I had cheese and crackers every evening, could you try that? I also made myself have snacks mid morning and mid afternoon even if I didn't feel like it. I know what you mean about weightloss ageing you though, I think it's the French that say you can preserve your body or your face but not both.

mrsbigz I don't do any formal exercise at the moment as I reckon chasing a toddler around is quite enough for the moment. Also, I reckon (and this is probably nonsense) that you're more likely to conceive if you're a few pounds over your usual weight so that's why I'm not bothering to lose the few extra pounds I would ideally shift. You can borrow this excuse too if you like!

knitter hope you are a bit more awake tonight!

Anyway, must go and find a cheap b'day present for my husband.

Hope everyone else is ok and you all have good days.
x

misty0 · 01/06/2011 15:52

So many things i want to say to everyone! when you read alot of your posts like i just have its like being in a room full of friends and your mouth is sellotaped up. (I imagine?Hmmnot actualy experienced that scenario of course)

egglet - yeah, i try HARD not to mention the age difference EVER. If it does ever crop up in converstaion I tell him blithey that it doesnt bother me one little bit. What a massive lie Shock But one thing i learned quite young is that to keep banging on about your insecurities (weight, height, age, wrinkles, hair, whatever ...."Oh how i hate my ...." and so on) eventually draws a blokes attention to something he probably didnt know nor care about. Its true ladies - most guys really cant see cellulite - ect. So dont point it out, ok? Tip of the week Smile Get those trotters sorted out girl! A nice new nail polish for the tootsies encourages foot care too.

flower - babydust all over you my love SmileSmileSmile (sorry egglet, look away, lol) Nice to 'see' you again. I know exactly how you fel about that old ticking clock...but yes, its so common now for ladies in their 40's to be statring a family. Dont fret xx

knitter - hello lovie. Day 11 - oooh. Grin Camping - uggh Hmm Where were you camping love? It pis* down here all weekend!

cinnamon - Come to my house my love and let me feed you. xxx My oldest friend (from primary school) has the same weight struggle as you are having at the mo. So i'm not going to poo poo it and say lucky you, because i know being unhappy with your weight is distressing which ever side your coming from. May i suggest Slimfast? Now dont laugh you lot - i dont mean INSTEAD of meals - i mean AS WELL AS. I can tell you from experience they're not that filling and have apx250 callories and HEAPS of vitamins in them. And the choc tastes divine. Just like a nice choc milkshake. If you can squeeze in a couple of those between meals thats an extra 500 calories a day very easily.

myangel - thinking of you today

mrsbigz - that hotchoc with a load of cream was very slimming - thank you! lol. I enjoyed our lunch date very much again, and i'm def going on line for those blasted tights!

Hi to all, hope your having a good one girlies, xxx

misty0 · 01/06/2011 16:02

Actualy - while i have a load of fellow girlies listening to me - does anyone have a recomendation for a really good quality make of MATT (and i mean matt - i cant bare shiney legs AT ALL) black opaque tights? But not wooly at all....or knitted. i dont really care about price. Its for a do coming up soon where i need to look the business in heels and a shortish black dress. Smile xxx

StunnedAndShocked · 01/06/2011 17:05

Waves to everyone
koffs - erm I feel ready for bedroom action Blush so we have been... Not sure what will / is happening with my cycle as had loads of ewcm the other day so AF in a couple of weeks maybe..
misty I get my tights from M&S they do great that hold my belly in & are not shiny - I dont do shiny either
egg lol re cheap b/day present my hubbys is 23/12 so he gets budget buys
flower we are staying at MIL whilst she is away which works for us as she is near bath & we are near brum
Myangelava sending you great big hugs & hope everything went well today
cinnamon ek you walk miles each day - sadly I have an office job & don't see much daylight as work 9hrs15mins watch day. Doing five days hours over four working days if that makes sense. Guessing it is as frustrating for you re weight as it is for myself being larger - only look at food to put weight on.
knitter guessing we will not see you for a few days Wink
Mrs skimming world failed today as had pizza for lunch :)
Been a nice day today had lunch with a friend at pizza hut. Then we had a wander around some shops - mother care being one of them. She knows about my loss but her 1st grandchild is due in a few days so is rather excited. I was fine in there, able to wander about picking things up saying would like this for my baby. still feel good & positive.
As for age - it is only a number - yes know chances of more things going wrong when over 40 is higher but in some cases there is a reason why they may have 1st child when past 40. Mine is because I have lost 6 babies to become angels who instead of being here for me to care ftheory are watching over me.
Hope everyone has had a good day
X x

KnitterNotTwitter · 02/06/2011 17:27

Hey - all very quiet here today- hope you're all ok...

Been keeping DH busy Grin and there is more to come!

stunned and hope you're doing ok today...

Sorry I don't do such long updates/posts as everyone else

StunnedAndShocked · 02/06/2011 17:45

hiya knitter
I thought I had scared everyone off last night as no one posted all day
Not done much all day, de fuzzed parts of my body as not done them for a while, painted my toes nails, did face pack, fake tanned myself (not in that order) as we are away from Saturday a week & hubby is off tomorrow so no time then as need to pack & clean house etc.
Anyways will not keep you long as am sure you have other things to be doing :)
X x

mrsbigz · 02/06/2011 21:03

hi ladies - sorry been quiet. hectic at work again as usual and off tomorrow and monday so had lots to sort out. today is our wedding anniversary (5yrs) although the kids don't seem to appreciate that - ds2 still awake bless him with teething....so no romantic night - yet!
i'm going to visit friends tomorrow then staying at my mums for the night, then on saturday driving home, packing more stuff and taking the boys to the in laws.....they're having them for 2 whole nights?!?!?! OMG - i might get a lay in?? unfiortunately dh still has to work over the weekend, but only til 2pm on sunday, so we're going to go out for dinner and just chill out and spend some quality time together.
was having strange thoughts today though. tomorrow is the due date for my m/c baby (back in Oct) - and it would also have been my dads birthday (would have been 76!). then Eve's due date is 7th Sept, which is the anniversary of my dads death (30yrs ago!). made me think that i really hope my next baby doesn't have a due date related to any already existing anniversaries!!?!?
anyway, sorry for lack of personals, am going to give dh a hand with ds2 as i can hear him babbling away upstairs (ds2, not dh!!!!)
will try and get on over the weekend, sending lots of love xxxx

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KnitterNotTwitter · 03/06/2011 13:19

stunned don't know where everyone has gone - but I wouldn't take it personally :)

mrsbigz the anniversaries are always hideous - and with a loss you get two... the 'loss anniversary' and the 'Due Date Anniversary'. both are so sad... I discovered I'd lost my MC the day after my birthday last year - and I know that is going to cast a cloud over my day this year.... Hope you really enjoy your chill out time together though - and fx it's good weather for you...

misty0 · 03/06/2011 18:45

Hello! I'm still here Smile

Been reading, but been in a foul mood over the last couple of days and comlpetely 'up myself' over my cycle and ov day. Sorry. Am in a better mood tonight, but untill now i've been following my mothers advice - if you cant say anything nice - dont say anything at all.....

egglets having a romantic break, (hope its all going well love! Wink) and mrsbigz is busy driving about all over the place (in her new coat i hope) and so they will be AWOL for a bit.

mrsbigz - hope you're having a good couple of days with your friend/family. All those aniversarys. Chin up lovie. Hope you and OH had a good aniv. evening on Thursday.

stunned - you're off too tomorrow arent you? Have a lovely time xxxx

knitter - just you and me then kid! lol Another poor poster chased on their thread earlier i see. sigh. Well done for your advice there - i hope the lady hasnt gone away for good.

I've booked a week away in the sun for me and OH in August. So thats cheered me up a bit. Done some serious sunbathing on the lawn today.

How is everyone else ........ please come back!? xxxxxxxx

Cinnamondog · 03/06/2011 19:11

And me!!! I'm here! Actually, just taking kids to the cinema, but I'll be back baby!

xxxxxxx

EggletinaClock · 03/06/2011 19:40

I'm back too!

Stunned you did really well to go in Mothercare. I know I couldn't do that yet. A friend is due in 2 weeks and I'm dreading going to buy her a present. Also, you have gone through so much with all your losses, I hope you get some good luck soon.

mrsb everything always seems to coincide with other things doesn't it? The day of my termination was Good Friday (appropriately enough I suppose) and I know it will always be a tremendously sad day for me. Happy Wedding Anniversary though and I hope you have a lovely weekend and get your lie in.

knitter glad to hear you're busy! Fingers crossed for you of course.

misty glad you've booked your holiday. Where are you off to? Hope you're feeling a bit better now about things. I'll catch you over on ff anyway for all things cycle related!

We enjoyed our romantic night away. We had an wonderful dinner and watched the sunset over the bay, we even stayed up until 11pm. Back now and planning a weekend of gardening and hopefully enjoying the sunshine.

Hope it's sunny where you all are.
x

EggletinaClock · 03/06/2011 19:41

Which is the troublesome thread? I want to have a nosey.

EggletinaClock · 03/06/2011 19:53

Ah found it. I don't know the background there but it seems to have died down. I hope the poor woman comes back too.

mrsbigz · 04/06/2011 19:20

hi just popping on (literally) so say a quick hi!! i'm back from my mums but expectin dh home from work soon (on the first of our two child-free nights!) so am going to go and have a long soak in the bath in preparation!
will catch up properly tomorrow, i hope that you are all doing ok!! xxx

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EggletinaClock · 05/06/2011 13:13

Rain, rain go away. It's miserable here and I've got raging PMT.

I had a horrendous day yesterday as it was sunny, lots of people were out and about and it seemed like everywhere I looked there were pregnant women, most of them about as pregnant as I should have been now (28 weeks, does one ever stop counting?) I did a lot of crying. Today I have only seen one pregnant woman and I managed to smile at her rather than burst into tears. However, I'm going to a shopping centre later on and I just know that'll be full of pregnant women. I'll just have to grit my teeth.

Hope everyone's having a better weekend.
x

darlingred · 05/06/2011 13:42

Agree with EggletinaClock pregnant women are everywhere.

Yesterday my dh informed me that another friend is pregnant. That's six couples we know of now that are pregnant. Open the paper this morning and every celeb and his wife seem to be pregnant. Unbelievable!

No I don't think you ever stop counting. I would have been 24 weeks by now.

mrsbigz · 05/06/2011 13:45

oh egglet - i feel your pain, i do :( and no, i don't think we ever stop counting. i would (should) be 26 weeks at the moment, so i guess our little angels would have been born around the same time. i think seeing pg women completely depends on my state of mind. last week at work was hellish - 2 going off on maternity leave, and one of my project team is pg and due in sept (round about Eve's edd). she's a friend of mine, as my ds2 is just a little younger than her ds, and we've met up in the past for playdates. i just can't bring myself to ask her how she is though, or any pg related questions.....i wonder if she thinks i'm just downright rude (as i don't think she knows about Eve)
hun - i hope that your day gets better today and you manage to brave the shopping centre. speak to you later xxxx

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