october 2010 continued

[Katy86]

just thought id get a new one going as there are only 2 messages space left on the original..xxx

Hope your blood tests go well Jacksmybaby, can't they do them at your local clinic? I hate those bloody queue systems, at our hospital they give you a ticket so you feel like you're queueing up at the deli
Managed to catch a hideous cold yesterday, going home this afternoon to suffer and watch Jeremy Kyle and eat chicken soup...
So sorry to hear about your job, FutureMum you poor thing! That's hideous, is it a dead cert you'll be able to get in another position with the same company? Keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Ok... going home now to lay on the sofa and snot lots xx

morning all, good luck jacks. Sorry to hear some of you aren't well, think I've been extremely lucky having had no sickness yet. Hope things get better futuremum, will keep things crossed for you. I had my first big hormonal moment last night. Spent 2 hours crying last night because I hadn't time to make dinner and wash up-even though I do it every night! Think it was my nesting instinct kicking in because when DH asked where dinner was I got mad and starting going on about how I don't have time to clean out the oven and inside of the cupboards and the house was such a mess-it wasn't! Bless him he just made me a cup of tea and put me on the sofa! x don't think hes heard me shout before

Don't know about the preference! I've got to apply for roles like the others & if I am not called for interview : (
Nothing is certain, if I am not successful in applying, then I'll be jobless this summer.
Sorry to hear about your hold, Jazzie Jeff, but the combination of hot chicken soup and JK is sure to work!

Hey all,

Haven't posted here in aaaages so nice to hear how everyone is doing and really comforted by those a bit worried/freaked out by the body changes. I really resent the bloat! It looks like a 6 month bump by bed time but is gone in the morning when tummy is almost flat again - can't wait for the 'proper' bump to come. Also of course everything else wobbles cos of no exercise (appart from walking). Have been doing my antenatal yoga dvd though so hope things will improve a bit.

Also - I had also been getting really randomly anxious - I am sure I have read somewhere that between 16-20 weeks you can get quite down and that it's 'just' the hormones so hope that helps.

Sorry about the work thing futuremum I have a potential work problem too but trying to remain calm.... Hope yours is resolved v soon.

So, have a lovely day all, nice to be back on the thread!
x

Nice to hear from you again Dillydora maybe i shoudld get some anti natal excercise thing, not sure yoga is my thing though. I went to a class once and to my shame sniggered my way through it .
JazzieJ sorry about your snot, but good that you can blob on the sofa, hope you feel better soon.
RooBear poor you, these hormones is a bugger innit, my house looks dreadful but I am trying not to notice at the mo
Jacks hope you don't have to wait too long and you took a good book just in case. Reckon i am with you on the fragile combination, i have to say i do find you very reassuring!
Back to Farmville for me now till I force myself to make some lunch!
Have a good day all

Hello all,

Thanks babybunting for your encouraging comments a while back - jeeze, that must have been frightening for you!

Just wanted to update thatI had the 18 week scan today and all seems to be well re growth etc BUT the damn sonographer was not trained to advise on the nasal bone situation ? in fact, she was a real ?computer says no? robot ? grr! This is obviously really frustrating as we were assured this wouldn?t happen and we?d have more definitive answers today, now we don?t. I have now got another scan booked at Kings (where they did the original nuchal) for May 27th when I'll be 20 weeks. This apparently WILL give us everything we need to know. I'm just crapping myself in case they then advise amnio etc etc...also under pressure to share with team at work so starting to feel peed off now - ho hum. Moan moan bloody moan!

I realise we?re probably being over cautious but you know what it?s like when you have that seed of uncertainty planted?

Oops, sorry FutureMum I misread your post as saying that half way through your mat leave you wld have to apply for new posts, rather than halfway through your pg. In which case you are right unfortunately, if made redundant while pg but not yet on mat leave you will have to apply with everyone else . I hope it works out for you.

Tizzy really sorry the nasal thing has still not been resolved. How crap of them . Hopefully it will be resolved in 2 more weeks and all will be fine.

Re antenatal exercise, on "good" days I have occasionally managed to struggle through Davina's pre-natal dvd - it is very very gentle indeed (actually pathetically so - but better than nothing) so I would recommend it for those of you who've been feeling crap and whose fitness levels have plummeted! (Having originally started exercising as a way of combatting PND I get quite stressed about not being able to keep it up, hence I am quite keen to do whatever I can despite feeling rubbish.)

Oh and BTW, did have to wait 2hrs again for bloods, as predicted, grrrr !!

Futuremum I misread your post too and you should get some independent advice as I'm not at all sure that what's being suggested by yr dear employers is kosher.

Jacks thanks for the dvd recommendation, I might get that for variety.... Not sure where you have your bloods but I go to the hosp and there's a bit on their webpage saying 'we're not busy at 3pm so come then' and it was true - I was the only one there. So, maybe you can ask when is their non-busy time of day?

Hi all, just found this post, been on the other October one before but not here.

See you're all chatting about exercise. It can be worth asking about time off for classes. My employer are letting me do a 7 week ante-natal pilates course for an hour and a half a week during work time.

Not sure if you already knew this, but apparently it's up to them whether it falls under the 'reasonable' time off for ante-natal appointments. I wasn't expecting they would say yes at all, so I'm really chuffed.

hi patsy I'm on both Oct threads! (waves) thats a really good deal from your boss!

Midwife appointment went well and I heart the heartbeat! It was amazing to hear it even fro a minute or two and very reassuring.

Futuremum that's not good news about your job but I've got fingers crossed for you that you get one of the internal posts going.

piesey that's good re MW apptmnt.

Patsy, welcome. Good tip re time off for exercise although personally after having had weeks and weeks off sick and now being on a special working from home arrangement I think they might think I was taking the p* somewhat !

Dilly good tip re non-busy times (I always seem to pick the absolutely worst times!).

Dilly re FutureMum's employers, while they cannot use pg as a REASON for redundancy there is nothing to stop them making a pg lady redundant, assuming they can establish a fair selection procedure based on grounds OTHER than pg. (Disclaimer: I am not an employment specialist although I am a lawyer and know the basics of employment law!)

Jacks rilly? about the employment? Damn.... My lot are up to something dodge - told me I would get promoted, then I said I was pregnant and they said, not to worry, same promotion but when you come back from mat leave instead of now but now it looks like they will bring in someone in the uni to do my 'new' job while I'm away but how will I ever get it back when I come back?! So if they suddenly say they're promoting that person instead of me and the only reason I don't get it is cos I'll be on mat leave then that's discrimination right? Sorry... not really meaning to cadge free advice, I'll go to the union also but I'm sure I'm right.

Hi Dilly I don't think that's a clear cut one but here are my thoughts.

First thing - they cannot refuse you a promotion on the grounds that you are pg (that would indeed be discriminatory). So them saying that you cannot have the promotion until after you are back from mat leave is questionable, I think.

Second - you are entitled to return to the same job on the same terms after your mat leave. So if it is agreed now (before you go on mat leave) that the new position is part of your terms of employment, you are entitled to return to that position after mat leave. If someone else is doing that job while you are on mat leave they should only be doing it on a cover basis and you are entitled to get it back on your return.

So...

Assuming the new position is something you could start doing now and keep doing until you go on mat leave, I would push for them to agree to this (and to confirm it in writing).

Obviously it doesn't do much for good relations to start throwing around discrimination accusations, so I would stick to something along the lines of "I'm really keen to do this and there's no reason I can't start it now".

Failing this, if they are insistent you can't start the new position now but can have it when you are back from mat leave, your best bet would probably be to get them to put this promise in writing.

HTH. Apologies to everyone else for boring you .

Thanks loads Jacks very sensible and reasoned!! I feel much better about tomorrow's meeting now!

Yes, thanks everyone for bearing with us!

x

Jacks and Dilly no worries ladies feel free.
Piesey exceelent about mw appt
Me - think i must have slept on bump last night as very uncomfy this morning with low level bump pains, was planning through logistics of getting self and toddler to Salisbury hospital to get checked when the munter moved and all now feels well - life is just never straight forward! oh and in my panic forgot to take cyclizine so now dog sick! - happy days!!!!

jazzie I've been having the horrible thoughts too I went and spoke to midwife about it and feel a bit better. You're not the only one that feels like this I think it happens to alot of women...
It's only been two weeks since I found out I was having a boy and my house is overflowing with blue stuff lol I can't stop shopping!!!

How's everyone today?

Xx

Hi All,

Just wanted to say a big thanks to you Jacks, I just had the meeting about the job and it went just fine - the head of dept was never going to put that other person in my role at all! So, if all goes well and the new projects are approved at the end of June the promotion comes into effect straight away and I'm as safe as one can ever be! Also, they're planning to get mat cover for me which would be amazing!!!!!!!!! So, thanks so much for your advice and for calming me down.

Sorry you're sick Hevster and that you have the bad thoughts Katy - remember they're only thoughts brought on by mad hormones, they're not facts. One good technique for stopping them if distraction with a book or telly won't work is to say 'STOP!' out loud (yes, you will look bonkers but that's ok!) - it's a CBT trick I think. Eventually you learn to say stop in your head but at first you need to say it out loud. Try it, it works!

xx

yeah dilly!

Thanks dilly I'll do that! x

Hi all,

Futuremum, That is seriously Sh1t news for you! I hope it all goes ok for you. Any time you want to vent go right ahead!

Katy and Jazzie I have the same thoughts all the time, even when I am walking round the supermarket I panic that someone might bump into me.

I am a bit worried about PND as I don't feel attached to the bump... I can't imagine feeling the love that you feel for a child (This is my first) Not sure if this is normal or whether I should go and see someone. Am I expecting to have a bond too early?!? Also not sure whether I am feeling movement or not am 18 weeks and 5 days should I be feeling more yet?

Dilly glad you got everything sorted!

Hope you all have a lovely weekend if I don't chat again soon!

xxx

Hey babyB DO NOT WORRY about not feeling like you are bonding with the bump, I think that's very normal indeed. It's very surreal, esp first time, and hard to get your head round. I didn't even bond v well with DS when he was born, it took quite a while, but I got there in the end and so will you, all in good time. .

BabyB I have to agree with jacks (and not just for contractual reasons... ) I had this conversation with a good friend as I didn't feel I was bonding with bump either and she said she didn't bond until her DD was about 6 weeks old. And she's an ace and very very happy mum.

Chin up chicken, hope you feel better soon with the anxiety and bad thoughts
xx

BabyB worry not, when DD was born they gave her to hubby first, eventually someone asked if i would like to hold her and i took 1 look and said no thanks, just didn't really want her at all, 12 hrs later when we got home i suddenly got extra possesive and wouldn't let anyone else touch her for ages!
Babies and hormones are funny things!

Thanks guys, just needed to know I wasn't going mad! Have for the second time had a pregnant moment and cried my heart out in the office! Oh well.

Weekend nearly here!

So glad I am normal (Well almost normal!!!)

xxx