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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

am pregant again after a termination for downs

341 replies

busierbee · 14/03/2009 20:51

I traumatically and sadly had a pregnancy with a downs baby last year. I am 42. I am pregnant again - ten weeks - and consumed with fear and anxiety. Although there is no genetic basis for downs, the risk of having another downs pregnancy is higher than for a woman who has not. Am having a cvs in two weeks. Has anyone been or is anyone in this situation? need a friend

OP posts:
justaboutspringtime · 15/04/2009 21:06

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Original poster
busierbee · 15/04/2009 21:16

Thank you Dear Justabout - think you should not put your email address on national website though I must say.. Are you sure you do not want to do delete that? But yes I will email. Of course. Goodnight.

OP posts:
justaboutspringtime · 15/04/2009 21:31

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ilovemydogandMrObama · 15/04/2009 21:32

Hi Busier Hope you didn't read that thread. It was so nasty. Without wishing to delve into the ugliness of it all, I am pro choice, so therefore support a woman's decision. My sister had a mosiac of Edwards and lived a very short life. That I wanted to be tested for it somehow a slur on her life? No, absolutely not. And this is what it's all about respect for other people's decisions and compassion along side that.

So, I hope in some small way you know that I am supporting you and your decision....

went out with friends last night -- first time in ages since DS was in hospital. I felt OK about leaving him, but of course bored my friends with stories about him and DD, who is just so funny.... She tends to bunch words together, so she wants to go on the 'slideswings' and ride on a 'planetrain'

Don't leave the thread.....

Original poster
busierbee · 15/04/2009 21:55

Hello Obamadog lady
I did read it - in a compulsive way. Should not have. But is good to see how other people feel - as I could not do that two weeks ago when in the eye of the storm. .But essentially I realise that this is not the pace for deep confessionals if one needs privacy and delicate support. Am just too vulnerable. I knew about your sister- I remembered. It must have had a deep effect on you- I hope you have happy memories of your time together. Crap on about your kids. You are lucky to have them - we all are.So not sure will continue with thread - is not the place it was. I do not trust it. I trust you and Tree and Justabout and SAm and pelvicflawed and Lins of course - and have had lots of loving support but can not cope with the feeling of being scrutinised. My head is too sore. And I worry too much about other people's discomfot and do not want to add to it.Also feel though that we have the right to chooose the life we wish to live - and am glad to be in charge of mine. Have had enough and am tired and can not now relax and enjoy my words and my friends in same way. Yet is crazy to feel hounded out.Oh gosh I do not know. I just do not.

OP posts:
justaboutspringtime · 15/04/2009 21:59

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Original poster
busierbee · 15/04/2009 21:59

My first post said ' I need a friend' - I have got that. Thank you.
Nothing more to say.
xxx

OP posts:
ilovemydogandMrObama · 15/04/2009 22:14

Busier -- Well, I hope you find a home or forum that is right for you, whether that's email with JustAbout, people in RL or perhaps start a new thread in the new topic?

But either way, I'm not sure that a lot of that thread was directed at you personally. It's an emotional subject, and don't think there is a way around it...

In any case, it may not be a bad idea to start a new thread anyway as a lot has happened since the title...

Hope you find a safe space....

linspins · 15/04/2009 23:16

hey BB,
have just posted big message at my place and am worn out now.
But wanted to say a special thank you for the lovely piece of post I received today. It meant a lot. xxx

Justabout, a thank you too for all the effort you have put in recently on other threads (which shall remain nameless!!!)
I'm not surprised you are worn out. Actually, thank you seems a paltry thing to say, because having someone defend your rights to feel/choose/be/grieve is a very special thing and I can't really say enough. I truly hope things work out fine for your little boy, with whatever the professionals say, because he is and will always be your little boy and you love him.

SamR, Tree, ilovemydog, and everyone, hello and hugs to you.

Night all, Lins xx

marj1 · 16/04/2009 00:14

Busier / Lins & Friends,

I haven't seen the thread to which you are referring but I have really valued your comfort, support, advice since I posted at the weekend. Is there anyway we can continue in a more private way?

Can you post me the link to the thread to which you are referring?

Marj1

linspins · 16/04/2009 08:15

Hi Marj,
That was so sweet the comment you made about not thinking about your problems because you were thinking of me. I am sure that feeling must fly through the air and find me somehow, because I did feel supported by invisible strength yesterday. I cried, I sobbed, but I didn't fall in the black hole - you know what I mean.

The thread we are hoping to have will be on a new area, that is possibly being created. Something to do with ante natal choices and testing....? There has been a big debate about this subject elsewhere, as obviously it is an emotive subject and brings out strong views. Which is fine and debate is generally a good thing, but for an individual who just needs comfort, there needs to be a safe place to go to post.

(So Mumsnet, if you are listening...can we have it please?)

It is still and grey outside...but the birds are doing their best, and here's to a new day.
xxx

justaboutspringtime · 16/04/2009 09:28

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linspins · 16/04/2009 11:58

From Mumsnet HQ - in an email to me, in response to one I sent them...

"We have decided to put up a new topic called Antenatal tests and choices in the 'Becoming a parent' section. Here's the link www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_tests_choices
We hope that this will give people another place to discuss their concerns without feeling wary of others responses."

I hope this will be a useful place for us to write about how we all are, and a positive new area for many other Mummies.
Lins xxx

linspins · 16/04/2009 12:17

p.s i don't know how to make a link go blue! But I'll try...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenataltestschoices

Original poster
busierbee · 01/05/2009 14:24

really just posting to see if Mamatups was still around- as have just re read my thread (like reading about another person) and am wondering if you are okay.
There is now another place for women who may have this sort of dilemma to confront - ante natal testing and choices.
Love to all who helped me through this.
I could not have done it without the support here. could not
BB xx

OP posts:
tanglefairy · 03/05/2009 14:52

I just want to give HUGGS I have to admit that I would probably do the same thing in your situation. I'm pregnant again after a miscarriage and I'm finding it's hard not be worrying the whole time. I'm sure you'll feel better after the test. I'm sure it'll turn out better for you this time :D

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