Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VI....Share your worries and knicker checking stories here...

[SparkyMalarky]

Will this do?

haha - x-post sussex! We have had the investigations and nothing was found. As just posted we do know that dh has ropy sperm, but the jury seems to be out on whether that has anything to do with it. Most people say not but I started a thread on here about it a while ago and someone brought up dna fragmentation - try googling it.

Oh God, down, that must have been a horrible shock for you, as we naturally blame ourselves as women, don't we? I've told DP that if it is him, and we've been through 3 mcs with me blaming my age, I'll be hitting him over the head with something

I know, I'm an old crock too but as both my sisters had babies in their forties, I knew there should be life in the old dog yet. I still don't really know why we lost 3 and I prob never will, but but this one seems to be a good'un (cyst excepted of course!)

That's all wonderful news, down! Also very reassuring.

So, if they find nothing wrong and it is hub's sperm, do they just leave you to get on with it?

Heeey, morning, sparky! You're being mental

Well, the offical position is that the sperm has nothing to do with it, or at least that seemed to be what my consultant was saying. However, as I say there is some reason to believe that dna fragmentaion of the sperm could be a possible cause of miscarriage but the research is at very early stages so there isn't a lot to report on. And yes, if they don't find anything they do leave you to get on with it. Hence the reason it took 3 years and 3 mcs to get to this bfp

There are those who think diet and lifestyle issues have a bearing on recurrent miscarriage - google "Foresight preconception". I don't know if I totally buy into all these ideas but obviously leading a healthy lifestyle can't do you any harm. On the whole though, I think trying to be as happy and relaxed as you can about ttc is probably best, although I know (and have ranted many, many times) it is far easier said than done.

Sussex. I'd had a few investigations with the NHS, which found nothing. After my third miscarriage - an MMC discovered at the nuchal fold scan, when I'd seen the heartbeat only two weeks before - I threw money at the problem, and went to a Dr Shehata on Harley Street.

He did all the blood tests for sticky blood, etc, and I was clear on all of them. He even did karyotyping of mine and DPs chromosones, and found nothing to cause a problem. The only thing he did find was a slightly elevated level of 'natural killer' cells, but this is a controversial theory. After I'd seen him, I discovered that the miscarriage had been due to a trisomy anyway.

For my next pregnancy I took steroids, prescribed by him, to dampen down the killer cells, but lost the pregnancy at 11 weeks to a trisomy too.

I don't know what caused my first two miscarriages.

My current NHS consultant doesn't believe in the killer cells theory, so I'm not on steroids for this one. Just baby aspirin, as a precautionary measure. Wondering if I can get a private prescription for the steroids, but as I've got to 8 weeks with no problem, I think it might not be a valid theory anyway...

That said, if you are having trouble conceiving you will get help. It seems that if you can conceive and but keep losing them for no apparent reason, there is less they can do, but I am a cynical old crock.

Oh yes and I'm on the baby aspirin this time too, even though my consultant said there was no clinical reason for it

Thanks to you both, I really appreciate you being so open. At what point did you start on the Aspirin, herb?

I suppose I was naively hoping that there was always a reason which could be found and put right. What a fool!

Yes, interestingly, when I had my first 'reassurance' scan with this pregnancy, the first thing the consultant asked was whether I was taking Aspirin (I was, but only from when I found I was pregnant).

You're not naive, sussex, I thought that too . But despite everything it does look rather as though I'm having a baby now, so chin up!

Wheely - a belated no grudge held maybe I am a Grinch

Herb I'm really pleased for you

So many brave ladies on here.

Yes down you are! I think stories like yours and herb's are one of the reasons why I don't want to leave this thread - it gives the rest of us so much hope! Great big grateful hugs to you and your bean

Thanks Sussex BTW - a couple of my friends have had more than one perfectly easy straightforward PGs in their 40s...and others struggled to conceive and hold on to beans in their 20s and 30s...sometimes it seems it really is just the luck of the draw doesn't it...

The aspirin thing seems to help in lots of cases tho....

Hi folks,

sorry that I haven't been around much. Have been swamped with uni work and fighting the urge to bury most of my project teammates under the patio . Was I really that feckless and lazy as a 19 year old student?! Erm....probably!

Have just had a quick read through of this thread - apologies if I miss someone, so will say hi to everyone right now

Sussex, so sorry to read about your loss. Hope that you and your dh are coping as well as can be. Really do hope that you are able to give us far better news some time soon.

Sparky - I too feel v shouty at the mo which is most unlike me. Am petrified that I will stress the little man out and he will be a grumpy little monkey when he arrives. Was so lucky with ds - he was an absolute angel (of course that changes once they hit two )

Dan & anyone else with this problem - spd/pgp - whatever they want to call it these days - is the pits. I saw the physio a couple of weeks ago who basically added some extra stretches on to what I was already doing for my back. In retrospect, the back problem was probably pgp as it started when pg with ds & was only just getting back to normal . Anyway, she gave me some lovely sexy tubigrip to test out to see if it helped support my pelvis. Dh was amazed they make tubigrip that big - Cheeky fecker! It didn't really do much tbh - I cannot sit down in it without feeling as though am being cleft in twain . Am 99.3% certain that I shall go and get a proper belt tomorrow when ds is at nursery (shopping for such things with a two year old is just not do-able). HAs anyone got one/used one? Are they worth the 30-40 quid outlay? (i.e. do they stop you walking like Mrs Overall?) In the meantime, dh has been giving me acupuncture and I have been trying to take things really slowly and ease up on straining myself (not as simple as it sounds with ds around). I occasionally treat myself to a paracetamol/brufen cocktail if it is really bad.

Anyway, enough moaning.

Am 25+ weeks now, getting v large bump and the little fella is v active (despite anterior placenta muffling everything). Still have a strange sense of detachment from it all - won't believe everything is ok until he is here safe and sound - but everyday that goes by is a step closer to Feb!

Have tried to be mega-organised and have nearly done all the Xmas shopping. Just dh and the mad PILS to buy for. Dh is a nightmare to buy for - he sees something, he just goes and gets it, so he never really wants anything at Xmas/birthdays. Unless it is ridiculously expensive techno gubbins that is . Was thinking of getting him some of those cufflinks where you can get the lo's fingerprints put on them, plus a wii game and some daft bits and bobs.

Will really try to keep in touch or lurk more often at the very least - I'm not a prolific MNetter and I keep dropping off "my threads" and losing everyone, then writing these huge posts

Well, better get ready to go out - am dragging ds to the local market and library. He would rather stay in and play with his trains - I am the fat controller (sigh)

Sussex - I like the thought that I give you hope, but may I sound a note of caution. I've had two OK eight-week scans, and two OK 10-week scans, and both went on to die. I know this is unusual, but I'm far from out of the woods. Don't want to disappoint you!

Actually, that reminds me. The doctor at the IVF place said of my previous miscarriages 'some ladies just produce more chromosonally duff eggs' (to paraphrase). I wonder if that's true, or one of those weird things doctors sometimes say...

Have you been down the IVF route, herb?

My mmc (found at 12 weeks) stopped developing at around 6 weeks and the last two mcs stopped at around 5 weeks - in fact, this last one was just an empty sac, so something is obviously going wrong very early.

I was about to do IVF, with pre-implantation genetic screening to weed out the duff embryos, when I got this BFP. Waiting for AF so I could start the drugs, but she never came!

Ah, I see. We've decided that if the tests throw up nothing, we will also go for PGS (I believe our clinic does this, thanks for suggesting it) and IVF.

God, I hope this one goes well for you, herb.

hi winey good to see you. Just pop in when you can so we know how you are doing! 25 weeks - good going! I am 28 and my GIRL is very wriggly, sometimes I think she is trying to climb out of me! Its funny, having all my other physical probs (the spd and rib flare) All your xmas shopping!!?? wow I am impressed! I have thought about it a wee bit but no progress from there. My DH similar to yours in a way in that if he sees things he buys them, we try to have a rule from now-ish that he doesn't. His Amazon wish list is a miliion miles long but that always feels like cheating - will get some stuff off it but need to think of something too. We are having family (siblings) for xmas and dh is doing the meal (its the one time a year he cooks)so I am looking forward to that.

Right off to have a shower then walk into the village to get milk, cheese and lightbulbs. And maybe some more crap books from the charity shop. Not sure how I will get on as have been on sofa for 2 and a half days, but gotta have a go (mostly cos I want some hot choc and cheesy crumpets!)

Speaking of crumpet - does spd mean I can't have any rumpy pumpy???

Oops didn't finish last bit - was going to say, having the other physical probs that are wrong with me have quite successfully distracted me from the fear of miscarriage. Its still a worry, and I think each time she moves (which is thankfully a lot) I am relieved. This must contrast with people who get a sense of enjoyment that others who haven't lost any might get. (IYSWIM) But I am more distracted by my own pains right now!

Herb its still clearly a scary time for you despite the positive scans, but there is hope so am continuing to keep everything crossed for you, and you know where we all are!... Hang in there and remember one day at a time. When is your next check/milestone?

Next scan next week (8.5 weeks), and after that i think I'll book myself in with the GP. Another scan at 10 weeks, and then the nuchal fold. And then a nice lie down.

Keeping it all crossed for you herb - mine were all dead before 10 weeks, although I didn't know that till later - you have had such a very hard time that I think you are well overdue some good luck. Wonder if my wonky eggs are to blame after all - hey ho. Never mind - onwards and upwards!

Fantastic new Herby... think you deserve that lie down!

Sussex - I had investigations for recurrent m/c - karyotyping for chromosomal problems, uterine examination and blood tests to check for anti-phospholoid thingymejiggy - when the blood thickens too much in pregnancy hence some women needing aspirin or heparin. Nothing found. I did however, diagnose myself with thyroid disease and am now on treatment for that.